


Delicate Stages Drabbles

by WhereAnaWrites



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky's Goats - Freeform, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Smut, MUC - Freeform, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Maybe - Freeform, PLATONIC STEVE AND ANA, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Smut, There will be angst later, Weddings, but not what you think, i lied about the angst part, i'll add tags as i go, infinity war spoliers, only a little angst, very mild mention of prescription drug use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-07-11 09:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 81,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15969344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhereAnaWrites/pseuds/WhereAnaWrites
Summary: Drabbles following Delicate Stages. Looking into the life of Bucky and Ana.(do not read unless you've read Delicate Stages first)Drabbles will be in order as posted.





	1. Break Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm finally posting some drabbles and I will post them here! They will be in order, so there isn't any skipping randomly about (except this first part)  
> I must explain this first part. It is in Steve's perspective because that's how the narrative fits. This will be the only part that jumps from the present, to flashbacks.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE IS NOTHING BETWEEN STEVE AND ANA. IT IS A STRICTLY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP***  
> So please, do not think otherwise :)
> 
> Also, I really wanted to show what Ana was truly like during that time, and how Steve was really there for her.

  

****Present Day****

“You’re shaking the entire jet, Rios.” Steve informs her, glancing over his shoulder in amusement.

“Sorry…but not really.” Ana shrugs, smiling so wide her eyes are nearly shut. “I’m just-“ she forces out a breath, “I’m so excited. Fuck, I’m so happy! Not that I won’t miss you and everyone else, I just-“

“I know.” He interrupts her gently. “You both deserve this, to be happy and be with each other.”

“Thank you for understanding that, Steve.” Her voice softens in gratitude. “And thank you for being there for me. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through all these months without you pulling me out of a near depression.”

“You’re family, Ana. We’re there for each other no matter what.”

She nods. It’s quiet for a moment before her smile comes back. “Bet you’re excited too though. You haven’t seen Bucky for almost as long as me.”

“Yeah.” Steve chuckles, quickly focusing his eye back on the sky. He swallows the lie bitterly. It’s not the first time in ten months. In fact, Steve has seen Bucky for the first time seven months ago. Then one month ago. “Yeah.”

 

****Seven months ago****

“What happened?” Steve demands, trying to keep his voice calm and patient. He’s panicking internally, though he would never let T’Challa, Shuri or their team of scientists see that.

“There’s no need to worry, Captain.” T’Challa informs him calmly, his hands behind his back in a relaxed manor. “Our country had a minor incident for a few days. It was taken care of, however, there was some damage to the lab, which caused a momentary loss of power.”

Shuri clicks her tongue. “Brother makes it sound worse than it was. Everything is fine. The technology I have been using for Sergeant Barnes malfunctioned briefly. We woke him up to fix it without accidently shocking his brain.”

“So, he’s alright then?” Steve asks, crossing his arms and trying not to laugh as the King of Wakanda side-eyes his sister.

“Yes, yes! He’s fine. He is sitting in there looking like a lost puppy.” Shuri chuckles, then steps closer and her humor drops. “I think he thought we fixed him, that Ana was here to surprise him.”

Right, he expected that might be the case. He also braces himself, because Bucky asked Steve to take care of Ana, and he’s going to have to give him the rundown of the past three months. Bucky will ask, because he has constantly thought of her from the moment he met her. He is not going to like what Steve is going to tell him.

“Do you mind giving us some time alone?” Steve requests the royal siblings.

They both nod, and that’s all the permission he needs to enter the lab. Bucky is sitting on the same table he had been when they first arrived in Wakanda. There’s an IV stand next to him, but his right arm is free of any needles or cuffs. The medical team must’ve already taken his vitals for the day, just a precaution for being brought out of ice again. Bucky is swinging his legs back and forth, and his expression is neutral, if a little weary.

“You sure this ice tube can’t do anything about your looks?” Steve quips once the door is shut.

Bucky glances up at his voice, his eyes rolling upward. “Says you, you little punk. You were frozen for longer.”

Steve laughs then hugs his best friend once he reaches the table. Bucky returns the embrace with his arm, then shoves Steve to the side.

“Missed you, jerk.” He says, purposely knocking into Bucky as he hops on the table. “Doing okay?”

“As well as I can right now. How’ve you been?”

“Alright. There’s the issue of the Accords being brought up again, makes for fun dinner talk.”

“I bet.” Bucky chuckles lightly. “How’s everyone else?”

“Good, good. Barton fell asleep on a mission recently, it was that boring.”

“I envy his ability to just fall asleep anywhere.”

“Must be nice.”

“And how’s…Ezra?”

“Ezra is good, He’s a cat, so, he has it made.”

The silence that falls between them is heavy. Steve waits patiently for Bucky to ask what he really wants to know.

“Does she hate me?” Bucky’s voice comes out small.

“Ana could never hate you, Buck.”

His jaw clenches briefly as he nods. “She’s healed? Her knee?”

“All healed. She’s a little more limited this time around though, since she refused Stark’s bionic rods. Doesn’t stop her from boxing though.”

Bucky huffs a laugh under his breath. “I wouldn’t expect her to.” He pauses, then his eyes meet Steve’s. “How is she- uh- otherwise?”

This is what he has been waiting for. “The truth?”

“Yes.”

“Not good, Bucky.” Steve tells him sadly. “She’s had a really hard time with it. Ana misses you. A lot.”

He ends up telling Bucky what he keeps walking in on.

**Three weeks gone:**

_It’s only been a few weeks since Bucky had left, and Ana has been scarce more often than not for those days. Steve needs to check on her, since he hasn’t seen Ana for hours and she skipped dinner. Again. At this point, Steve doesn’t even bother going to the gym or her room. Instead, he goes to Bucky’s. He gently opens the door, and right where he expected her to be, Ana is curled up in the middle of the bed. She’s clutching one of the many journals left behind for her._

_Bucky’s scent still lingers in every fiber of the room. He knows this is why Ana comes here. It’s not to be sad, it’s just a form of comfort to her. To remember his smell, to feel his bed, to read his words, to fall asleep peacefully with his presence wrapping around her like a phantom hug._

_Steve gave up trying to move Ana to her own room the third time he found her like this. Instead, he carefully maneuvers the comforter around, bringing it up to cover her body. Then, he gently moves one of Bucky’s pillows under Ana’s head, and slowly sits next to her on the bed. This is a lot harder than he ever thought they would both take Bucky’s absence._

_When sunlight streams into the room, Steve winces, opening his eyes. He’s met with Ana staring up at him with wide, brown eyes that are a little bloodshot. He blinks and adjust his neck, pushing himself to sit up straighter._

_“Why do you stay with me in here?” Ana questions right off the bat, voice thick like she had been crying again. “This is hard for you too.”_

_“Misery loves company. Isn’t that what they say?” He responds gruffly._

_“That’s really sad when you think about it.”_

_Steve nods, remaining silent._

_“He asked you to take care of me, didn’t he?” She whispers, clutching the notebook in her hand tighter._

_“Yes.”_

_“Thank you.” Ana says gently._

_Then she pushes herself up and leans over. She places a gentle kiss on his cheek, just quick and friendly gesture. Abruptly, she smacks the journal against his forehead as she pulls back._

_“Now get your lazy old ass up. I’m hungry and you’re taking me to Luna for coffee and cheese danishes.”_

_“Am I now?”_

_“Yes.” Ana shakes the journal in her hand as she stands from the bed. “Bucky specifically said that if you don’t make me happy, that when he comes back he’s going to kick your punk ass. Danishes makes me happy. Now let’s go, Cap!”_

*

“Well,” Bucky prompts. “Did you get her a danish?”

“I bought her a whole box.” Steve rolls his eyes, shoving his friend. “I hate you for that, by the way. She demands danishes every Saturday now.”

“She works you with those big eyes as she flutters her lashes, doesn’t she?”

“How did you ever resist her for anything?”

“I didn’t.” Bucky chuckles before it fades away. The mood suddenly turns sad. “Except for this.”

“Ana knows it’s for the best, Buck.” Steve reminds him.

“I know. She’s amazing. I love her. It’s why I’m doing this.” Bucky sounds like he’s still trying to convince himself. “I’m doing this so that when I do go back to her, she’ll be safe.”

“She wasn’t doing a good job at keeping herself safe.” Steve mutters.

A dangerous gleam flashes in Bucky’s blue eyes. “Meaning?”

Steve sighs.

 

  **One month gone:**

_“One…two bottles of wine…and ten mini bottles of vodka. She doesn’t even like vodka!” Tony snaps, throwing the empty bottle against the wall._

_Thankfully it’s plastic. Steve understands Tony’s frustration and worry to an extent. He remembers when Bucky fell from the train all those decades ago that he tried drowning himself in alcohol. If it weren’t for the serum burning the affects away, he would have. Steve had a war to fight then, he had other people to save, he had the world to save and he had to remain focused. He had Peggy to help him through it, to remind him that Bucky wouldn’t want him to drown his heartbreak away. Steve needs to channel those same words now._

_“Pepper doesn’t find out about this, Rogers. Not yet.” Tony tells him, holding up a threatening finger. “Goddamnit! She isn’t supposed to be like me!”_

_With that, he spins on his heels and rushes towards Ana’s room. Steve’s heard of Tony’s past days where he would drink until he blacked out, spiraled into a near self-destructing shell of a person. He knows the anger is resonating from fear of watching Ana do that to herself. Wincing at what might happen when Tony finds her, Steve follows behind quickly._

_Tony hesitates by her door, fiddling with the lock before he disables it and enters her room. She isn’t there, but it doesn’t stop him. Steve follows as Tony doesn’t hesitate to exit out her open window. Both men make it up to the roof in record time._

_Ana is laying on the lounge chair, holding up one of Stark’s most expensive bottles of vodka, almost like she was expecting for Tony to march over and snatch it away. Which he does. Steve can tell by how tense his shoulders are and the set of his jaw just how utterly furious he is. Until they both see her expression, and the anger melts away from Tony’s body._

_He hands the off bottle to Steve, gesturing for him to just toss it. He does so without any regrets, chucking it over the side of the roof. Then he sees Tony sit next to Ana, gently grabs her arm to pull her up and holds her tightly against his chest. He hugs hers, keeping his hand on the back of her head as her face presses into his shirt._

_Steve realizes her body is trembling, her hand is clutching Tony’s back. He hears the muffled sniffles and he wants to move forward, wants to join in to comfort her. But as he continues to watch them, Tony’s arms tightening around her, he thinks better of it._

_“I don’t know how to handle this.”_

_Steve hears Ana’s shaky, slurred words, and he’s thrown back to that first night after Steve came back from bringing Bucky to Wakanda. He found her sobbing on Bucky’s bed, repeating those same words. He just held her like Tony is holding her now._

_“You’re going to be okay, Ana. I got you. I got you.” Tony soothes softly._

_Steve knows the situation is under control, that if anyone can comfort a drunk and upset Ana, it’s Tony. Making his decision, Steve quietly leaves the roof, giving them privacy. This is what her family is for. This is what she has Pepper for, what she has Tony for. Sure, the rest of them have become an extension of her family, and Steve knows Ana will fight for that no matter what, but this time. This is just between her and Tony._

_When he reaches her room, Steve quickly and thoroughly checks any hidden compartments for more bottles. He finds only two; whiskey and wine, still full. What flutters to the ground after he checked her pillow cases, pauses his search. He picks it up to replace it, but the words written on the paper makes his curiosity get the best of him._

_It’s a letter Bucky left behind for her, just like he did with his journals. Except, this one seems more personal, more intimate, reads like a poem, and Steve hurriedly puts it back. He knows she’s read it, since the letter had weathered fold lines and smudges that looked like tears on the paper._

_He leaves her room, rounds up Nat and Wanda, and together they get to work on cleaning out the place of alcohol. Just for a little while._

*

“Did you read it?”

“Just the first sentence before I realized how private it was. The words just popped out, sorry Buck.”

Bucky waves off his apology. “How long did the drinking last?” He questions, his voice small and full of remorse.

“Two weeks.” He answers honestly. “Pepper took her away for a week to Paris, and when she came back, she seemed much better.”

“Paris.” Then suddenly Bucky releases a loud laugh. “One of the first things she ever said to me in French,” He drops his face into his hand for a moment, laughing more. “She asked me if I wanted to sleep with her.”

“What?” Steve laughs in shock.

“ _V_ _oulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir._ Apparently, my expression made her laugh so hard she nearly fell off the treadmill. She kept saying it to, just to make me blush.”

“You were so head over heels for her within a week, Bucky.”

“I really was. I still am. I always will be.”

Steve smiles at the clear love Bucky has for Ana. Then he winces because he just remembered that one time she tried making that last martini a week after she came back from France. He tells Bucky this much.

“This doesn’t sound good.” Bucky sighs heavily.

It wasn’t.

**Two months gone:**

_They’re all looking at her, and Steve knows by the irritated twitching in her jaw that she can feel it. He wants to offer his help, but he remains silent, knowing his head will be bitten off if he even opens his mouth. Sam seems to be the bravest soul out of all of them; even Banner is nervously fidgeting in the corner._

_Steve doesn’t even know where she got hold of more vodka, but at least this was her first drink in months._

_“Ana, let me help you with that.” Sam offers kindly._

_They should have expected the loud smack of the jar against the counter, but the noise still makes them all flinch. When Ana lifts her eyes to Sam, there’s a rage of fire in them, something Steve has never truly seen from her before._

_“_ It’s fine _.” She grits through her teeth, voice clenched. She turns the jar of olives upside down. “I just need to do that trick with the-“ she bangs it on the counter – “tapping of the-“ She hits it again, “lid.” She flips it back over and tries twisting the top off again._

_It doesn’t budge. It’s strange, watching her struggling with something as simple as opening a jar, however, deep down, Steve knows that isn’t the issue. The issue is Ana’s lack of sleep for the past three weeks. The issue is Ana’s crazy work ethic lately, where usually working everyday and being focus would be a good thing at times. With her, it’s not. Especially when Steve catches her popping Adderall pills just so she could focus on new mental health research and that machine Telly had told her about months ago._

_When he caught her the third time, Steve snatched the bottle away and made her tell him what was going on. All she told him was that she had to help find a way to make Bucky’s triggers go away, because she failed him over and over and she can’t fail him again. Steve’s heart broke at her words and he ended up silently sitting at her desk in the Lab until she passed out on her key board._

_“No!” Ana snaps, pulling Steve from his thoughts. Sam apparently tried offering again. “I can do this okay, Sam. I just want olives, like I just want my vodka martini like really dry- open you damn piece of fucking shit- really dry and really dirty. Like a really dirty martini with at least three olives and-“_

_She stops talking, grimacing as she twists the top again. Finally, it pops off and a bit of juice and a few olives fall onto the counter. She slams the jar down, grabs the rolling olives and plops them in her martini, followed by pouring a little of the juice into it as well. She hastily grabs a paper towel off the roll and cleans up the juice on the counter, throwing the wet paper towel in the sink._

_“See. Easy.” She states dryly, picking up her glass. “Now. If you’ll all excuse me, I have a dirty date tonight.” She lifts her drink as proof, then leaves the kitchen._

_-_

_Ana has no idea Steve has been watching her break down for the past ten minutes. He wanted to intervene, wanted to stop her from using her energy, but something stopped him. Maybe the tears in her eyes, or how she was giving her all into the punching bag. She had already knocked down one, when Steve entered the gym, and now she’s wailing on the second one._

_Her chest is heaving, sweat dripping down her body. The lights keep flickering as if there’s a bad storm raging outside rather than the form of a person. The chains holding up the bags rattle, and the treadmills actually beep and turn on once in a while._

_A sob ripping through the charged air makes Steve finally enter the gym. Ana is throwing punch after punch, fast and hard and she’s crying. She’s crying, and sobbing and before Steve can reach her, she punches the bag clean off the chain with a jet of golden yellow light. It flies across the room and slams into the opposite wall, further than the first one did._

_She turns as she accidently knocks her gloves into her head when she tried to grab her hair. She releases a frustrated growl, tearing off the velcro gloves and throwing them to the side. She’s panting, her body shaking along with the lights on the ceiling. Ana hastily wipes her eyes and she finally notices Steve standing in front of her._

_Her chin quivers for a moment, then she steels her emotions so fast, it’s scary. So, Steve says nothing, and walks past her. He knows. He understands this. The lack of sleep, the dreams, the pent up energy, the unadulterated anger and frustration. Ana may not have been frozen for 70 years only to wake up to a different world, where everyone she knew was gone and had been thrown right into more wars._

_That may not have happened to her, but Ana’s own world shattered around her and she had to watch the love of her life almost die trying to protect her. She almost died trying to protect him, only to lose him in a different way and watch him go with the ever-looming threat of darkness hanging over them._

_He knows Ana didn’t fall under ice for 70 years, that they don’t have in common. Losing Bucky. That is something Steve understands exceptionally well._

_Steve picks up the closest punching bag, dragging it over and re-hooking it. He repeats the same process with the other bag, then he goes to the little bucket of bottled water to grab one. He offers it to Ana, but she just turns, fetches her gloves to put them on, and starts punching again. He sighs, dropping the bottle in favor of watching her. Just making sure she doesn’t actually hurt herself._

_After another two rounds of knocking the bags off and Steve going to fetch them, Ana actually screams. She screams in what sounds like aggravation and stops punching. She rips the gloves off again, lifting the right one and chucking it at the wall. She repeats the motion with the left, then starts hitting the bag again. Only she isn’t punching it. She’s literally just smacking her palms against the bag, releasing little grunts and growls._

_“This. Is. So. Fucking. Stupid!!” She yells with each hit._

_“Ana.” Steve finally speaks up. He has to, otherwise she’ll brake her hands._

_“No! No, Steve! This is stupid! It’s fucking stupid! He’s so fucking stupid!”_

_He grabs her by her arms and spins her around. Her momentum follows, and she accidently punches him in the gut. Steve huffs out a breathless grunt because he wasn’t expecting that, and also because Ana is much stronger than she lets on. She doesn’t look sorry. She just grabs his shirt, scrunching the material in her fists, trying to shake him back and forth._

_“He’s your stupid friend, Steve! He’s stupid and you’re stupid for not stopping him and I’m stupid for letting him leave! Fuck him and fuck you and fuck me all over the fucking city because I fucking failed him!”_

_Steve wraps his arms around her, squeezing her tight to his body, holding her steady. He keeps his grip strong, so Ana can’t free herself, and she finally breaks down against him. She sobs into his chest, her body shaking and the lights pop, throwing the gym into darkness._

_Ana lost Bucky. It’s the same, but different. It’s so different for her because Ana is in love with Bucky, and he’s still well and alive, but he’s in a place where she can’t reach him. Ana and Bucky have a different level of connection and that is all due to their energies being intertwined in more ways than one. The intimacy level of their relationship is unparallel to anyone else’s. It’s like they can almost feel each other. So, this, this has to be devastating to her._

_“I failed him. I failed him.” She keeps repeating between her cries._

_“Ana, listen to me.” Steve says vehemently. He doesn’t think softness will get through to her right now. He puts conviction in his next words. “You did not fail him. You hear me? You did not fail him.”_

_“I miss him so much.”_

_“I know, I know, honey. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay, I promise. I promise you’ll see him again.”_

_He believes the words himself when he says it to her. Steve knows where Bucky is, and he knows the Wakadan team his friend has behind him are trying to work this out. Ana falls silent after that, her sobs slowly coming to an end. Steve doesn’t know how long he stands there for, trying to hold his best friend’s girl together._

_Finally, she stops crying all together and when she pushes herself back, Steve lets her. Ana wipes her eyes, now puffy and red, then wipes under her nose. Steve leaves her for a moment to grab a box of tissues by the towels, handing it to her when he returns. She gives him a watery smile, then chuckles humorlessly._

_“I snotted all over your shirt.” She says wetly, dabbing at her nose. “I’m so sorry, Steve. I didn’t mean for all of this to happen. I’m sorry I hit you.”_

_“Don’t apologize for any of that.” He tells her, reaching out to grab her elbow. “I just need you to get some rest, alright? No work, no drinks, no gym. Just sleep. Can you do that for me?”_

_Ana nods. “Yeah, yeah. I think you’re right. I need to sleep.”_

_“C’mon. I’ll walk you back.”_

**

Bucky sighs heavily. “Fuck. Of course, she would do that.” He says sadly, fiddling with a thread on his pants.

“I shouldn’t keep telling you these things, Buck.” Steve frowns. “They just upset you.”

“I need to know how she is.”

“Why don’t you just come back?” Steve pleads. “We can figure something out. I’m sure Shuri-“

“It isn’t safe, Steve.” Bucky interrupts him bitterly. “If there’s even the slightest chance of being triggered again.” He shakes his head. “She can’t keep fighting me off with her energy alchemy. It could kill her. I could-“

He swallows thickly but doesn’t continue.

“Bucky, she needs-“

“Don’t. Do not finish that sentence.”

“Why? Because you know I’m right and you know it’s the truth and if you hear it you’ll come back.”

Bucky looks to be in physical pain, close to tears. “I _can’t_.” He whispers. “I want to, fuck, I want to go back to her so bad, you have no fucking idea but I. I can’t. Fuck!”

Bucky shoves his hand through his hair roughly, gripping the roots. Steve backs off, because it isn’t just hard for Ana. He knocks Bucky’s hand out of his hair, then squeezes his right shoulder in comfort.

“I’m sorry for pushing.” Steve apologizes quietly. “I know it’s rough on you too.”

“I dream about her all the fucking time. She’s constantly in my head and when they woke me up I thought she would be here. I thought I was fixed and cured and I’d hold Ana in my arms again.”

Steve didn’t really think about that fact. He was called to Wakanda because that incident caused damage to the lab and Shuri had to prematurely wake Bucky up as she fixed it, and T’Challa called Steve asking if he wanted to see his friend during this time. He neglected to tell Ana about it. He didn’t think informing her, just to see Bucky for a few minutes and have to say goodbye all over again, was a good idea. Not when she was finally starting to sleep normally, eat properly, and slowly gather herself together.

“I’m sorry.” He tells his friend again. He can’t take seeing this amount of sadness and heartbreak on their faces anymore.

“Don’t be, it isn’t your fault.” Bucky sighs wearily. “I just miss her.”

They fall silent for a while after that. There’s a heaviness between them, the same one that Steve feels when Ana is in the room with him. He still finds it fascinating how connected both their energies are. His eyes flit across the room, landing on Shuri as she intently focuses on the computer.

“Has Shuri mentioned how close they are to erasing the triggers?” Steve inquires.

“She said they’re really close, just one more thing to figure out.” He shrugs, following Steve’s line of sight. “If anyone can do it, I think she can. Besides Ana. Tell her that for me, will you? I don’t think she believed me when I said she didn’t fail.”

Steve turns to look at him.

“Steve. She could never fail me. Ever.” Bucky states with a fierce passion in his tone.

“Deep down, I think she knows that. I hope she does.”

“Sergeant Barnes,” They’re interrupted by Shuri’s voice coming from behind them. “It’s ready.”

Bucky’s eyes fall shut, inhaling deeply. Steve doesn’t miss the stray tear that falls down his cheek. It’s his choice, but going back under isn’t easy. He claps Bucky on his shoulder, squeezing to offer him comfort. Bucky nods, and when he opens his eyes, there is a sadness to them.

“How is Ana now?” Bucky asks timidly, slowly slipping off the table. “Is she okay? Getting enough sleep?”

“Yeah, Bucky. She’s alright, she’s better.” Steve answers, walking him over to the glass chamber. “She’s strong. She’ll be okay.”

Bucky steps into the chamber, settling against the cushioned pads. A member of the of the medical team carefully straps him in, then checks his vitals.

“This will work.” Bucky states firmly. “It will work, and I’ll be fixed. I’m coming back to her.”

“I know, pal.”

“Thank you, Steve, for helping her.”

“Of course, Bucky. She’s family.”

Bucky smiles at that. Then his eyes shift, and he nods to the man, who presses a button. Slowly the glass cover comes down and Bucky closes his eyes, looking peaceful externally. Steve hopes his honesty and stories of Ana don’t give him bad dreams or makes him feel utter guilt and regret. The hissing noise and puff of white fog within the chamber signals that Bucky is now frozen once again.

 

****Present Day****

The second the door of the jet opens, Ana is running out, dashing through the hanger and weaving in and out of people. Steve just laughs and follows behind her, assuming they’ll get her things later. When Steve arrives just two minutes after her, he sees Ana already in Bucky’s arms.

Steve’s heart swells at the sight. Not only because his best friend and the girl who has become extremely important to him lately are together, but because Bucky looks healthy. He looks well rested, peaceful and clearly Shuri made him a new arm that Ana can’t seem to stop touching. Actually, neither of them can’t seem to stop touching each other for long.

“You look a lot older than when I saw you seven months ago.” Steve jokes, playfully shoving Bucky’s shoulder.

“First it was ugly and now it’s old. Why do I keep you around again?” Bucky quips, rubbing his knuckles atop Steve’s head.

“Wait, what?”

Him and Bucky stare wide eyed at each other. Slowly, they both look at Ana at the same time. She’s figured it out, he can see it in her eyes, and her jaw shifts as she crosses her arms.

“Are you telling me you saw Bucky seven months ago without telling me?” Ana states calmly. It’s scary.

“Last month too.” Shuri informs, unhelpful as she passes by the three of them.

Ana’s eyes widen and she steps away from Bucky. “What the fuck!”

Steve winces, yet Bucky is trying to contain his laughter. Sure, he finds it funny because Ana didn’t come back to the tower to pack then hit him over the head with his shield. Twice. She also launched various fruits at him as she saw fit, then filled his punching bag with flour so it exploded into a flurry of white clouds all over him and the gym.

“I was told it wasn’t a good idea!” Steve says, stepping behind a table for protection.

“By who!?” She demands.

Steve looks flatly at Bucky. Bucky flips him off.

Ana holds up a threatening finger, but when Bucky gently grazes his fingertips along her hip, her anger fades. Instead, her eyes shift back to the man standing next to her, then back to Steve. She drops her finger and smiles.

“You know what? It doesn’t matter.” She tells Steve. To Bucky, she says, “I should be angry because I would have loved to seen you, no matter what you vindicated your reasons for. But it doesn’t matter because you’re here now and I’m with you and-“

Ana grabs Bucky by his face, pulling him in for a loving kiss. Steve should look away, but the happiness of both their faces as they wrap their arms around each other, is enough to make the past year worth it all.

*********************************************************************************************


	2. Chp 50. Bucky's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's POV from Chapter 50 of Delicate Stages, when Ana was in the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, I thought that first drabble was gonna be the only "sad" one. I FUCKING LIED TO YOU AND MYSELF SORRY.
> 
> I got to thinking, I really wanted to know what Bucky had done, how he reacted and this came about. It's the time frame of chapter 50 from DS between when Ana was taken to the hospital to when she wakes up. Please, again, if you haven't read Delicate Stages, please do before reading this series of drabbles.
> 
> <3
> 
> Warnings: Blood. Angst. Saddness. Happy ending bit :)

_**Aftermath of the Capture:** _

 

Chaos. Everything is chaotic. Everything is confusing. Everything sounds muffled when it should be loud. Everything is cold when it should be warm. Everything is gray when it should be golden. Everything is a fucking terrifying mess when it should be a calm, peaceful night, and Bucky is screaming.

Bucky is screaming because the emergency trauma doctors at the hospital refuse to let him through. They refuse him to follow Ana, as she lays nearly lifeless on the gurney they’re wheeling her on. There’s resistance around his right arm, resistance around his torso, but Bucky is too blind to see what it is. All he sees is the golden light of his life laying broken and bleeding on a bed, being wheeled further and further away from him.

He doesn’t know how long he struggles for, how long he fights against the resistance holding him back. All he knows is that Ana is taken from him. Ana is rushed through metal doors and out of his sight and there’s nothing he can do about it. He wants to lash out, he wants to break every single thing he can reach, he wants everything to feel his pain right now.

Bucky needs to see her. He needs to be next to her. He needs to know if Ana is alive. He needs to know if Ana is going to make it, and he _needs to be fucking with her_. He reaches out with his hands towards the doors he can’t go through, startled by two things. The first is the abrupt reminder that his left arm was completely shot off, just staring at his right hand. The second, _is_ his right hand.

Blood. There is dark red blood covering his entire hand, swirling in morbid ribbons down his forearm, soaking into the ripped fabric of his shirt. Ana’s blood. Ana’s blood is coloring his hand red, because he couldn’t protect her. He couldn’t keep her out of Hydra’s hands, and he couldn’t save her. It’s as if his nightmare has come true, her blood covering his hand as she fights for her life.

His heart seizes in terror at the sight of her blood. It seizes in terror because he wasn’t the one to inflict the gunshots, or even cause the blood streaming from her nose. No, his heart is frozen with utter horror because Bucky couldn’t reach Ana in time before Erik Woods injected her with a sedative. Bucky hadn’t been aware enough to realize they had been compromised again, and because of his mistake, Ana’s blood is now staining his skin.

Ice seeps throughout his veins, there’s fire in his throat, and there’s red and black in his vision. There’s that resistance again, pulling and tugging until the once cold, tainted with sick and blood tinged air, turns into the ripe smell of dead leaves and asphalt. Something sharp stings across Bucky’s face, snapping his head to the side.

Suddenly, his senses come around, his vision clearing as he blinks rapidly, and the fire in his throat ceases. Bucky realizes he was yelling again, and he had been smacked across the face. Bucky realizes he’s standing outside of the hospital, a good yard away from the entrance. Bucky realizes, as he turns his face to meet the ice blue eyes of Steve, that he is crying.

He has been crying this entire time, utterly at a loss. He doesn’t know how to handle this, how to handle not following Ana. How to handle watching her be tortured; choked, stabbed, hit, shot, falling and crumpling to the ground. He doesn’t know how to handle her blood on his hand, or the echoes of her pleading his name. He doesn’t know how to handle the light of her eyes fading out.

“Bucky!”

Bucky blinks hard before meeting the gaze of Steve.

Steve grabs Bucky’s shoulders, shaking him hard, “Get a hold of yourself!”

He looks terrified himself, no matter how much Steve tries to hide it, no matter how hard he is trying to keep up his Captain America persona. Steve is _scared,_ and Bucky sees it. He nods, his mind beginning to clear, but his eyes snap back to the doors of the hospital.

“Ana,” Bucky croaks, his voice frail to his own ears. He looks back at his friend.

Steve stands there at a loss for words for a few moments. He shakes Bucky once more, gentler this time.

“She’s,” Steve clears the emotion from his voice, “she’ll be- she’s going to be okay.”

“ _Don’t_ fucking lie to me, Steve!” Bucky spits, yanking away from Steve’s hold. He feels his chin trembling, and the abrupt rage of fire ends just as quickly as it came. Softer, defeated, he repeats his words. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”

Steve crosses his arms over his chest, his shoulder hunched forward. He looks every bit of that skinny boy from their hometown, nervous and scared, unsure of what else life would bring him. He’s only shown it once to Bucky, and now again as they stand outside the hospital waiting to hear Ana’s fate.

Bucky can’t take this.

“You can’t fall apart, Bucky,” Steve speaks somberly. “She needs you, and you can not fall apart.”

Bucky clenches his fist, his heart feeling like it’s breaking in his chest. The thing is, he feels her. He feels Ana, her energy, and he didn’t even realize it until it suddenly cut off. Until the strange light was fading from her body, until he touched her leg, until she dropped to the ground like a broken doll. He knows she needs him. He knows Steve is right, but Bucky can’t feel her energy anymore.

“I couldn’t protect her,” Bucky grits out, a fresh wave of tears escaping his eyes. He doesn’t even care.

Steve vehemently shakes his head, his expression turning hard. “Don’t you dare go there,” He tells him sternly. 

Before Bucky can say anything more, a car pulls up next to them, headlights flashing through the twilight. The door is thrown open, a frantic, frazzled and tear-filled Pepper stumbling out. Steve reaches out to catch her elbow, preventing her from falling.

“Where is she!?” Pepper demands, her voice cracking.

Bucky can’t answer her, words caught in his throat. Pepper locks eyes with him, but there’s no blame directed towards him, just desperation. His stomach just twists with knives as he continues to stare at her, Pepper’s bottom lip trembling.

“Emergency surgery.” Steve informs her. “We don’t know much else.”

The driver gets out of the car, a man Bucky has yet to meet, but has come to know him as Happy. He hurries around the car, gently taking Pepper’s arm from Steve. Happy tells him he’ll escort Pepper inside, quickly leading her towards the entrance. Pepper peers over her shoulder, straight to Bucky again, her expression broken, but her eyes understanding.

“Fuck!” Bucky shouts, shoving his hand into his hair, not caring of the blood now. “Fuck. What do I- I don’t know what to do!”

“Breathe, Buck,” Steve instructs. “You need to breathe.”

_Breathe. Count, just feel._

Fuck, Bucky hears Ana’s gentle voice in his head. But he can’t breathe, not with her struggling for her own breath. He can’t count because he can’t see those nine golden specks laced within her brown eyes. He can’t feel, because he isn’t holding Ana in his arms.

*

 

Bucky can’t recall how he was able to calm himself enough to go back into the hospital. He doesn’t recall how he ended up in the waiting room, clenching and unclenching his fist over the armrest of the chair. The rest of the team shows up, but no one comes near him. No one really speaks to him, and the silence of the hospital waiting area is driving him insane.

He can’t bare to hear his own thoughts, filled with nothing but screams of how this is his fault. Ana is wounded, bleeding, having bullets removed and stiches sewn in, and her energy life source is- Bucky shakes his head. He can’t think of that. Out of all this time he’s known Ana, spent every day with her, spent hours falling in love with her, he knows that she isn’t weak. Ana is strong, and he has to keep believing that, he has to keep believing that she will pull through.

It feels like days pass before a doctor is coming out from the doors, asking to speak with a family member. Bucky watches carefully as Pepper stands, her hand slipping from Tony’s, as she’s led to another corner of the room. Bucky keeps his eyes attentive, and his ears sharp.

All Bucky hears are the words, _ICU_ and _coma_ , and he’s shooting out of his seat before he even comprehends it. He makes a beeline for the exit, Steve’s words repeating in his head not to go there, not to blame himself. Of course, Bucky will blame himself, he probably always will blame himself for coming into Ana’s life and dragging her into his world that always had an impending threat. That same threat that took ahold of her. That same fucking threat that Bucky will get his hands on and make him wish he had never even been a thought to be born into this world.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Steve’s voice follows behind him.

“ _Woods_ ,” Bucky hisses out like poison in his mouth.

Sam is suddenly in his view, blocking him from the entrance. Bucky will have no regret moving people out of his way by force if that has to be the case.

“It’s pointless, Barnes.”

Bucky halts, inches away from Sam who’s standing in defense. It was Tony who spoke those words, his voice eerily calm, and uncharacteristically quiet. Slowly, Bucky looks over his shoulder until he can see Tony standing up. Pepper is no longer in sight, figuring the doctor’s allowed her to see Ana.

“What?” Bucky asks, his voice just as quiet, dangerous.

“He’s not out there,” Tony supplies, fiddling with a small gadget in his hand. He holds it up, a small blue holographic image displaying in the air.

“Tony,” Natasha speaks up, a warning to her tone.

Stark ignores her. “Woods is in this hospital. Fifth floor, three guards.”

Bucky spins, a strange mixture of rage and gratefulness surging through his body. He only gets four steps in the opposite direction, before Sam and Steve are both holding him back.

“ _Get the fuck off me_ ,” Bucky seethes, still attempting to move forward. He drags both men along with him. “I’m going to rip every single bone from his body for hurting my girl!”

“I can just let the security cameras go down for just a little while.” Tony muses, but his mouth is punched at the corners, and is eyes look vacant.

“I know being arrested for murder is in your forte, Lefty,” Clint pipes in lowly, directed towards Bucky. Bucky is still struggling. “But I don’t think being arrested is best for Ana right now.”

Gritting his teeth, Bucky stops trying to fight off Sam and Steve. His shoulders slump in defeat, knowing that vengeance at this moment will not help Ana. Clint is right, so Bucky yanks himself out of his friends hold and trudges right back to his pervious seat.

He hears Tony force a breath through his nose, and when Bucky looks up he notices a tick in his jaw. No one says anything again, and the silence settles over them once more.

*

 

Two hours pass this time, Bucky counting all one-hundred and twenty minutes. During which, Natasha had gotten up from her seat next to Barton, forcefully grabbed Bucky by his collar and made him go into the bathroom. She stood silently next to him as she helped him scrub off Ana’s blood that had dried on his skin. She remained stoic, as they were trained to do so, as the water turned a murky brown to red to clear. She didn’t mention Bucky’s tears escaping him again, only grabbed a few paper towels to dry his hand.

Two hours pass, and Pepper comes through the doors, her eyes red and puffy but her steps determined. She marches right up to Bucky, sparing a glance at Tony for a brief moment, almost like she’s apologizing. She wordlessly hands Bucky a small blue rectangle, the words reading Family Access.

Bucky stares up at her bewildered, his eyes questioning if she’s sure. Pepper nods once, placing the rest of the pass into his now clean hand. He stands on what feel like wobbling legs, gently placing his hand on her shoulder, holding the pass between his fingers.

“Thank you.” He murmurs, voice thick and dry.

Pepper nods again, her eyes tearing up. Then she spins and takes her seat next to Tony once more. Bucky doesn’t spare another glance, just hurriedly makes his way through the doors.

*

 

Bucky thought he was broken, thought his life was a living hell when he was Hydra’s fist, and after. He didn’t truly know what broken felt like until he sees Ana lying in bed, in a _coma_.

She looks so delicate, so fragile, and the sight makes his heart shatter in his chest, broken shards slicing his insides. He barely even allows himself to breathe as he forces himself to sit next to her. He details every little thing of his girl, trying his best to ignore the tubes along her body.

Any trace of blood has been cleaned from her face, from her nose, her lip. The cut on her lip stands out, a stark contrast to her unusually pale skin. There are darkening bruises in the shape of fingers discoloring her neck, and a bruise on her cheek. Her left arm is kept tight in a sling, gauze visible through the gown she has on. He can’t see the true damage under the blanket, but he does see the lump of the knee brace, her right leg elevated higher than her left.

She looks broken, and Bucky can’t fix her. Tears prickle at his eyes again as he slides his fingers under her right hand, being tremendously careful not to move the IV needle. He gently wraps his fingers around hers, trying to ignore how cold her hand is, trying to ignore how her skin was a natural tan, is now the same color as his.

Bucky gazes at her beautiful face, her lashes resting against her cheekbones. He longs to see her open her eyes, to see those gold dots, to count them and ground himself. Instead, Bucky bends his body, lowering his head until his forehead to pressed to the blanket.

“I’m so sorry, Ana.” He whispers, words trembling from is bitten lips. “I’m sorry. Please,” He begs. “Please, stay with me. Please, don’t leave me. Stay with me.”

He knows there wasn’t going to be a response. Bucky doesn’t know how to handle this. All he can do, is listen to the sound of her gentle, slow breathing, and it’s enough to ground him for the moment.

*

 

Three days later, Bucky doesn’t get his hopes up too much, but Ana has come out of the coma. She’s moved into another section of the ICU, during which, Steve tries to convince Bucky to go home. He doesn’t. Wanda tries to get him to get something, he doesn’t. Clint offers his own cups of coffee, but Bucky declines them.

It isn’t until the fifth day, that Pepper gently places her hand on his shoulder. She coaxes him to at least take a shower in one of the on-call resident rooms. She was able to convince one of the residents to allow this. Bucky relents. He’s only gone for twenty minutes, before he’s right back next to Ana.

Tony nearly forces a dinner roll down his throat at some point. Bucky ends up yanking it from his grasp, placing it on the tray, promising he’ll eat it later. Tony only shrugs, picking loose thread on his jeans, something Bucky has come to realize he does out of anxiety. Like himself, Tony doesn’t look like he’s slept very well, if at all.

At some point in Bucky’s life, after running from Hydra, he realized he no longer truly believed in God, or any god. However, for the past nine days, he has found himself praying for hours, every day. During which, Steve comes in, offering a little black sleeve cap to cover the exposed wires of his left arm.

Despite being an enhanced human, sleep finally creeps up on Bucky. It’s a light slumber, but he drifts off, resting his head against the bed, his hand once again wrapped around Ana’s. He doesn’t know how long he’s drifted off for, because he suddenly hears a sharp inhale of breath.

Bucky frowns, trying to figure out if the sound was in his head or not. He does hear the shift of the pillow though, and that slowly brings him out of his slumber. He picks his head up from his arm, he must’ve adjusted to lay on his arm in his sleep, blinking slowly. Wide, tired brown eyes with gold little flecks star back at him. Bucky mentally counts nine dots, all nine golden dots, and his heart, after ten long days, kickstarts again. Ana is awake.

“Oh my god,” He breathes out, relieve crashing over his body like a tidal wave. “Ana.”

 

****Present Day****

“That’s the last box,” Ana huffs, slightly panting. “You never truly realize how much shit you have until you have to move.”

Bucky glances over at her, carefully placing the kintsukuroi pot on the shelf. He sees her wince for a moment as she sits on the couch, rubbing over her right knee. Bucky hopes she’ll have the knee replacement surgery soon, hating to see her in pain. He makes sure the art piece is far enough away from the edge before he walks over to her.

“I didn’t think it was that much,” Bucky says. He’s about to sit next to her, when she smiles brightly.

“I lied. There’s more,” She admits, shifting and pulling out her hand she had hidden under the pillow. She holds out a small jar of Nutella.

“Is that-?”

“The one you gave me.”

A fondness settles over his heart as Bucky takes the jar from her. “It’s empty,” He states flatly.

“Um hello, Nutella supposedly goes bad after two months from the sell by date,” Ana tells him. “It’s been ten months, babe, and as much as I love you, I was not going to let that go to waste.”

Bucky chuckles. “I did intend for you to eat it anyway, doll face.”

Ana throws another jar that she just pulled from the couch at his chest in retaliation to the nickname. She smiles innocently, as if she didn’t plan to stuff two jars of Nutella behind the cushion. Bucky didn’t even _notice_ her doing that. He catches it cleanly, smirking down at her.

“Was that all, or did you hide a bag of skittles too?” He teases. She pulls out two spoons from her pocket. “What the hell?” He laughs.

Finally, Bucky plops down next to her, placing the empty jar on the coffee table. He carefully maneuvers Ana’s legs around until they’re resting over his lap. She hands him a spoon as he opens the jar and tears off the foil.

Before she can dip her spoon into the spread, Bucky drops his spoon in favor of hooking his finger under her chin. He brings her face closer to his, pressing his lips softly against hers. For a moment, he just revels in the fact that Ana is sitting next to him, trigger free, in Wakanda.

“Love you, Annie.” He murmurs against her mouth.

Ana’s lips spread into a smile. “Love you too, Winter Flurry.”

He doesn’t know how he got so goddamn lucky.

 

********************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! 
> 
> I have been so stressed mentally and emotionally for the past two weeks and this came out as well so....yay writing! I promise the next few drabbles will be lighter, and no longer in the past like these first two were.
> 
> <3
> 
> *PS: Clint calling Bucky "Lefty" is a nod to their comic book relationship, because, lets be honest, we all need that in our lives.


	3. Chapter 3 Armless Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little drabble :)

Settling into her life in Wakanda only takes a few days, but Ana didn’t think this would happen so quickly already. She’s nervous is the thing, and if she inflicts pain with her actions, then, well. She doesn’t want that.

_Breath in, you got this. Ignore it, ignore- no, don’t look! If you look then you’ll be done for. Ignore the feeling, concentrate._

It’s fallen silent around her now, Ana solely knows it’s because Bucky has opted to just stare up at her. She can even feel the coy, little smirk radiating off him. She ignores him, because the second she looks into those damn steel blue eyes, she’ll just fumble and fail. She hears his short intake of breath, as if he’s going to say something, but she speaks before he has a chance to.

“No, okay. I got this. I swear I- just, I’ll do it,” Ana rambles frowning in consecration. She places her hands on Bucky’s left shoulder one more time.

For the past twenty minutes, Ana has been convincing herself to detach Bucky’s vibranium arm, as he sits on the kitchen chair, shirtless, listening to him instruct her how to do it. She’s nervous, because she doesn’t want to hurt him, and also because Shuri apparently put some sort of metal arm low-jack within the prosthetic.

“We haven’t gotten around to watching that Fullmetal Alchemist show yet,” Ana continues talking a mile as minute, “but he’s got an arm just like yours and his mechanic does repairs and stuff, right? So, one time he has to get it reattached. Chords and wires physically attach to each of his nerves, but it’s so painful that he nearly passes out from it.”

“Annie Doll,” Bucky says soothingly, a hint of laughter in his voice. He places his hands on her hips for comfort. “You aren’t going to hurt me. It’s not excruciating, and I won’t pass out. It’s more of a minor uncomfortableness for a few minutes, then it’s fine.”

Ana nods, biting her lip.

“Hey, baby, we don’t have to do this. I know how much you love it,” Bucky reminds her, wiggling his fingers against her hip.

Rolling her eyes, she tells him, “I love all of you, Snowflake. Not just your arm. And, no. We’re doing this because you’d rather work without it and this will make you feel better, and makes you happy.”

“You make me happy,” He murmurs, pulling her in by her waist.

“You’re cute, and distracting,” Ana quips, but quickly kisses his eyebrow. “Now, one more time. I find the little switch.”

Bucky lifts his arm, so his hand is resting on her shoulder and she has access underneath. She finds the nearly invisible switch within the grove under his arm, pinching it between her thumb and index finger.

“Yes,” He encourages.

“Turn it three times counter clock wise, then press up-“

“Yup.”

“Then turn clockwise twice and-“

“Take your other hand and push my shoulder in-“

Ana does just that, “At the same time as pushing the switch up, and-“ Bucky’s left arm suddenly clicks and detaches. “Yes!”

Bucky winces but quickly schools his face into a proud expression as Ana wraps her arm around the bicep. She steps back with it, surprised with how light the arm is. She carefully maneuvers the vibranium into the cushioned case T’Challa provided for them. She locks it with the code Shuri gave her, then holds her arms up.

“I did it!” She exclaims triumphantly.

Bucky smiles brightly at her, but then Ana catches a mischievous glint in his eye. Before she can react, he launches out of the chair, wrapping right arm around her waist, hosting her up and pressing her back against the wall. Her breath leaves her, as it always does when he pulls off this particular suave move. She has to brace her hands against his chest, and tightens her legs around his hips, giggling as Bucky gently bites her chin, then presses a quick kiss to her jaw.

“Proud of you, darling.” Bucky whispers against her skin. When he pulls back to meet her eyes, there’s nothing but love shinning in them. “See, I can still ravish you perfectly fine.”

Ana quirks her eyebrow, slipping her right hand into his long hair and gently grabbing a fist full to tilt his head back. His sharp intake of breath when she does this will always be her favorite, along with how his eyes darken to a deeper blue.

“Or,” Ana says, her voice sultry, brushing her lips over his, “I’ll be the one to ravish you, _Soldier_. Think we should test that?”

“Shit,” Bucky stutters out a sigh. “If I knew taking my arm off would be a thing, I’d have suggested it earlier.”

A loud cackle escapes Ana’s mouth, dropping her hand from his hair as she laughs unabashed. “You’re the one who pressed me against the wall, so you take full responsibilities for my actions.”

“Hmm, that I can do,” He agrees, winking at her.

“I’m in love with a giant dork.” Ana watches as Bucky’s expression melts into a soft look, one that never fails to make her heart flutter.

“And I’m in love with a girl who makes me feel worthy, even without my arm.” Bucky responds quietly, his smile soft and fond.

Ana’s heart swells in her chest, because even after spending ten months away from each other, it hadn’t deferred their love. In fact, they seem to be even more in love, stronger than ever, and it keeps growing. Ana can’t contain her smile or her blush, so she drops her head down, placing a delicate kiss on the port of his shoulder.

“Bucky,” She murmurs, as she lifts her head, pushes back his hair. “Take me to bed.”

He kisses her lips, tender and tantalizing. Keeping his lips attached to hers, Bucky says, “With pleasure.”

 

***************************************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was super short, there's more to come :)  
> <3


	4. Delicate Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Implied Smut, little smut.

 

**One Month Later:**

Sometimes during the hours of the morning, be it early before the sun is barely rising or just an hour before noon, something wakes Ana up. Sometimes she doesn’t know what wakes her; thirst? Hunger? A weird dream, a happy dream, a nightmare (although those are come less often). Sometimes it’s a noise. Sometimes it’s a feeling; maybe she has to go to the bathroom, or maybe she’s too hot and needs to kick off the covers.

This time around, she feels a gentle little touch against her chin. She feels a whisper of warm breath against her cheek, a tickle of soft hair against her bare shoulder. She feels the light graze of courser hair against her chest, then a firmer press of plush lips kissing down her neck to her collarbone. She feels the delicate touch of those same lips over the bullet wound scar.

Ana knows exactly what wakes her this morning. As Bucky nuzzles his head under her chin, she turns her face, pressing a tender kiss on his forehead. He’s warm against her, very warm, but it’s cozy and feels nice and has Ana lazily bringing up her left hand to bury her fingers into his slightly tangled hair. She scratches her nails gently against his scalp, the content little sigh Bucky releases gives away how much he loves when she does this. He tightens his right arm around her hip.

Bucky has gone weeks without his vibranium arm on since Ana moved in with him. She knows how the lack of it makes him feel better, makes him feel more of the man he used to be, makes him feel safe around her. The fact that the trigger words have long been deleted from the fibers of his brain is something they still work on. He’s had decades of it coded into him. The past seven months with him out of Cryo isn’t enough time yet to help his anxiety and fear of somehow still hurting Ana fade away. She knows this. She understands this.

Ana kisses his forehead again. Then his eyebrow, then his forehead once more. She moves her right arm across her body, her fingers wrapping around Bucky’s bare hip, since he is practically laying on her. She doesn’t mind, the weight of her lover has always comforted her. Let’s her know this moment in time is real. That they’re together, safe and warm in their bed.

“I love when you do that.” Bucky murmurs against her skin.

“Hmmm?” Ana had nearly fallen asleep again with her lips pressed to his forehead. “Do what, babe?”

“Kiss me there.” He whispers.

She kisses him again.

“Makes me feel...delicate. Like I could never hurt you.”

“You could never.” She tells him softly.

Bucky huffs in disagreement. They both know what he’s talking about, but it’s been a long time since then. Ana still firmly believes she wasn’t that injured; they were just bruises.

“I feel safe with you, Ana.” Bucky continues. “Just like this.”

“Let’s stay like this forever okay? Okay.” Ana mumbles, still scratching the back of his head.

Bucky chuckles into her neck. “I love you, Annie Doll.”

She wonders if Bucky can feel her lips spreading into a smile. “I love you too, Snowflake.”

They fall silent for a while after that, just breathing each other in. The scent of sleep warm skin and the light aroma of the soap they used from the shower last night. Ana keeps her mouth against his forehead, his soft hair tickling her nose. Bucky keeps his face pressed against her neck, his fingers of his right arm he’s lying on gently brushing against her ribs once in a while.

His warm, even breaths lull her back into a light slumber. All Ana wants to do is hold the love of her life in her arms like this forever. To stay in these soft mornings, with gentle words and delicate touches. To keep blissfully happy in their own little world forever. That is, until Bucky shifts and sighs forlornly.

“Alright, baby.” He says quietly, turning his face to kiss her chest, then a little lower to kiss the top of her breast. “Gotta get up.”

“No.” Ana breathes, tightening her fingers in his hair.

Bucky inhales sharply. It’s become a major thing for him. He adjusts again, propping himself up on his elbow, and making her hand fall away. Rude.

“Gotta, baby,” He kisses her nose. “Work the farm,” He kisses her chin. “Feed the goats,” He kisses her mouth briefly; they’re way past morning breath.

“Nooo,” Ana whines again, frowning and reluctantly opening her eyes. 

Bucky laughs. “I’ll make some coffee.”

“No,” Then she pulls him back down until they’re chest to chest.

Bucky releases an  _oof_  just to humor her. “You’re saying no to coffee?”

“I’m saying for you to stay right here. With me. The goats can feed themselves.”

“Ana,” He chuckles.

“They got hay.”

“Annie-“

“And Rosa knows how to rip open the bag of feed. She’s resourceful like that.”

“Baby,” Bucky pops up and kisses her firmly to quiet her.

Ana wraps her arms around his neck, languidly moving her lips with his. They kiss like that for a while, Ana slowly bringing her left leg up to hook over his hip and bring him closer. She’s reminded that they’re naked, presses together and she vaguely wonders if she could use sex to convince Bucky to stay in bed.

“I know what you’re doing, darling.” Bucky growls into her mouth. 

“Shhh.”

“Mmm, it’s okay. I’ll stay for that.”

Ana fully opens her eyes as Bucky pulls away. There’s a gleam of mirth mixed in with lust and she doesn’t quite know if this will go in her favor or not. Both, probably both. Since Bucky grins wickedly at her and slowly trails his lips down her chest.

She revels in the feel of his mouth for several moments, before her eyes snap open. Bucky is slowly lifting his body from hers, the little tease gently biting at her nipple. She bites back a moan, wanting to turn this around in her favor. She grabs a fistful of his hair, earning an elicited moan from him as she guides his head back to hers.

Smiling coyly up at him, Ana hooks her knee around his hip, then pushes him sideways to the left. Bucky falls over, Ana shifting and flipping him onto his back. She gives him a triumphant look, his eyes darkening and it’s all the answer she needs.

Bucky ends up staying in bed the whole morning. Ana able to convince him with every swivel, grind and bounce of her hips, rides him slowly, passionately, their lips locked together for the majority of their morning sex session.

They swallow each other’s moans, paint words into each other’s skin with their fingertips. They hold each other tightly; when Bucky is close to coming as she rides him. When they go again, and Ana turns into a trembling mess as he slowly thrusts into her. When they come together after the third time and Ana can barely hold herself up anymore. So, with Bucky's chest pressed to her back, lifts her up so they’re both on their knees, and holds her tightly with his arm across her breasts.

They end up tangled in a mess of sheets and limbs, sharing lazy kisses as the sun rises high in the sky and casting golden light on them through the window.

 *******************************************************************

 


	5. Delicate Surgery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nervous Bucky and fluff.

This wasn’t a sight Bucky ever wanted to see again; Ana lying on a hospital bed. Logically, he knows it’s not a true hospital bed, since they aren’t in one, but instead in the Medical Laboratory in Wakanda. He also knows, as he can clearly see, that Ana isn’t hurt like she was nearly a year ago. He knows his girl is laying on that bed because she’s going through with the knee surgery. She’s talked about it with him, several times. However, he can’t stop his stomach from churning with the memories of the last time he saw her like this.

He grinds his teeth, a horrible habit when he’s nervous, and wrings his hands together. Ana’s head pops up from the pillow, her eyes soft and knowing because she can always feel him now. She just _knows_. She blinks slowly, the drugs she was given taking effect, another sight Bucky had to physically look away from as one of the doctors injected the needle into her vein.

“Sn’Flurry,” Ana nearly slurs, raising her arm off the bed beckoning him closer. She shakes her head and blinks once more. “I’ll be fine.”

Bucky complies, smiling down at her, lacing their fingers together. His calloused hand fitting with her soft one. He leans over to press a gentle kiss to her forehead, brushing over her eyebrow with his metal thumb. He’s decided to attach his left arm today, for the sole purpose of helping Ana get home afterwards.

“I know, I know,” He says quietly, more so trying to convince himself.

Bucky has been free of the triggers, free from all the anxieties he had because of them. He’s been at peace for a while now. Although, it doesn’t stop a new wave of anxiousness crashing within him as he witnesses Ana in pain; again.

Ana squeezes his hand, and he slowly begins to feel his nervous energy shift into something more clam, serene. Feels like warm water running down his spine and immediately relaxing every part of him.

“Annie,” Bucky chastens lightly, he can’t help his lips twitching into a smile though. “You shouldn’t be doing that.”

“But,” She begins, her eyes fluttering more as she fights to remain awake. She inhales deeply, “You’re scared.”

He chuckles at that. “I’m not scared, sweetheart, I just don’t like seeing you like this. I’m nervous.”

“S’gonna be okay, Buck,” Ana smiles dopily at him. “Promise. S’my choice.”

She conveys her promise with another small surge of conviction radiating off of her own energy and mixing with his. Bucky nods, knowing and believing in the team of doctors to take care of her. If they were able to help Shuri figure out the way to erase his triggers, then they can do anything. Knee surgery like this is a walk in the forest for them, according to Shuri.

Ana rubs her thumb in lazy circles over the back of his hand, nearly succumbing to the sedative she was given. Bucky looks up from her peaceful face, noticing two doctors waiting patiently for them. Shuri stands nears, enlarging the scale of the knee she built on the advance computer screen, hovering in the air. T’Challa is there as well, and Bucky must have been too engrossed in his nerves to notice him arrive.

“White Wolf,” The King speaks up quietly. “It’s time now. They need to bring her back.”

Bucky nods again, his eyes dropping back to his love. She’s out, sleeping peacefully with her chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths. Leaning over once more, he presses a delicate kiss on the top of her head. He knows she’ll be fine.

“I’ll be right here when you’re done, baby,” He murmurs. “I love you.”

He’s not expecting any sort of response, so he’s surprised that Ana’s hand squeezes his own three times. He huffs a little chuckle under his breath, knowing the touch was her saying she loves him back. Bucky allows her to be transported to a medical room in the back of the Lab. He inhales deeply, counts to three, then exhales.

He finds an empty chair by Shuri’s work space, plopping down with his eyes peeled on the door that leads to the surgical room.

“If you’re going to brood, white boy, can you at least be of use and hold this?” Shuri says, dropping the first model of the artificial knee she made for Ana.

It’s the mock up that lead to the vibranium one. Bucky fumbles with it as he hears T’Challa laugh from behind him. He glares at the King, as if he himself doesn’t have worries for Nakia, despite how fierce and strong of a spy she is.

“Relax, Bucky,” Shuri tells him kindly as she turns to face him. She points to the knee. “The surgery is quick, and the recovery time is only about four days. Much less invasive than those of other countries.”

She goes on to tell him that Ana wouldn’t need physical therapy since the medical advances, and how Shuri had built the knee, almost automatically does it itself. She continues to speak, and Bucky tries to keep up with her terminology, asking questions here and there out of curiosity and because he wants to help Ana as much as he can.

“So, she just needs to rest for a few days?” Bucky confirms again, running his fingers over the model of the knee. He takes a strange comfort knowing the real one matches the colors of his left arm; gold interlacing within the cracks like they’re linked together.

“Yes, no stressful activities,” She answers sternly, crossing her arms. “As in her swinging from that tree next to your hut. The knee must take to her femur, tibia, fibula, and a few ligaments and that will be the only painful part. I suggest ice, and-“

“The mineral hot springs.” Her brother cuts in.

“Right,” Shuri drawls out, sharing a look with her brother. “As you know from experience, the springs are filled with minerals and healing poetries. It will help.”

T’Challa dips his head down, a sly smirk playing across his mouth. “It’s quite romantic as well, I must say.”

Shuri shoves his arm, but her smile says she agrees. Bucky would blush if he wasn’t still nervous about the surgery. He remembers taking time soaking in a spring after he remains of his old metal arm were removed.

The surgery itself only takes an hour and a half, and he’s on his feet the minute the doctors say he can see her. It’s like Bucky hadn’t been sitting in worry for ninety minutes, because Ana looks the same. She’s still sleeping, and there’s an IV still hooked up to her, but she looks like she’s just taking a nap. Her knee is wrapped up in a large bandage though along with a metal brace, and he has to remind himself it’s so the knee can set properly.

Just a few minutes later, Ana’s eyes flutter open. She immediately finds Bucky’s own, and he smiles down at her, counting his favorite golden dots within her brown eyes. He watches as she slowly pokes her tongue out, licking her dry lips.

“Love you too.” Ana murmurs, her voice thick with the earlier medication. “I want pizza.”

A startled laugh escapes his mouth. Bucky fondly rolls his eyes, feeling silly for ever being so nervous. He promises her they can make pizza when they get home. It makes Ana smile dreamily at him.

“You’re an angel,” She tells him, utter sincerity in her voice. “My beautiful angel.”

“Sedates make you adorably sweet,” He informs her, picking up her hand to kiss her knuckles.

“Sweet as pie.”

Bucky’s smile drops, knowing exactly where she’s going with her words.

“Pizza pie.”

“Jesus Christ,” He chuckles, just relieved the surgery went well. “Let’s get you home, darling.”

*******************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these are drabbles, but they do go in order and they do all lead up to something more. So, technically, it's kind of a sequel, but I'm not really calling it that :)


	6. Hot Spring

 

Two days later, Bucky opens the door to their apartment after a few hours working on the farm. Normally, he loves working there, doing manual labor, feeding his goats, playing with the kids that love to watch him. Usually Ana goes with him, sleeping in the hut together when she doesn’t need to be in the Lab. Today, he was rather anxious to get home, since he had to leave Ana as she slept off the effects of her knee surgery.

He had been expecting her to still be napping, given that he was only gone three hours for the evening. He trusted the kids and other adults to make sure the animals were fed, but he just went to double check everything, and that the hay stacks were stocked for the next morning.

Ana is sitting up on the couch however, her legs stretch out, wincing as she gently prods her fingers around her knee. Bucky’s expression falls, wondering how the hell she even got herself to the couch in the first place. She must hear him come in, for she glances his way, then offers him a little smile. One that he’s seen many times before and one that he knows is her trying to look innocent; like she didn’t do something he strictly told her not to do.

“Honey, you’re home,” Ana greets, falsely bright.

“How the hell did you get there?” Bucky inquires flatly, rising his eyebrows.

“I apparated.”

He blinks at her, not amused.

“I couldn’t stay in bed, babe,” Ana whines, pouting her lips. It’s endearing. “I needed new ice.”

Bucky sighs, trying to keep his lips from twitching into a smile. “You could’ve re-injured your knee, baby.”

“Yeah, well, you left me,” She grumbles, fiddling with the ice pack.

Bucky hears the mirth in her voice, however, it’s a thing that they both have anxiety about. Now that they’ve been living together for several months, it’s something they still deal with, something they both know and talked about. They can’t be away from each other too long anymore; their energies are too entwined now. Bucky secretly loves it though. He makes his way over to her, kissing her cheek in greeting. 

“Sorry, Annie. Shuri said you needed to rest, and you and I both know what happens if we go against her,” He chuckles.

“She programmed your arm to hit yourself in the face repeatedly and for that, she is my hero,” Ana states dreamily, before she flashes an overly sweet smile at him. It lasts for two seconds before her face screws up in pain. “This sucks.”

Frowning, Bucky says, “I know, darling,” He sighs, rubbing her upper back. “Stay put. I’m going to take a quick shower and I’ll be right back.”

Ana nods, turning her head to kiss his right forearm.

The shower Bucky takes is only fifteen minutes long. Once he dries himself completely, he grabs his vibranium arm he had taken off, as Ana slept for the majority of the previous days, and reattaches it. If he’s going to take care of his girl, he wants to have two arms to do so. Just in case she needs the extra support like she did once they got home. He dresses in casual, loose clothing before he exits their room. He stops though, leaning against the frame as he watches Ana attempt to get comfortable.

Bucky’s only been home for half an hour, but this is the sixth time Ana has grimaced since, baring her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut as she adjusts herself. She takes a quiet but sharp inhale as her move forces her knee to shift slightly. Then she carefully fixes the ice pack to fit over her right knee once more, before she finally settles back down, slowing exhaling.

Bucky sighs again, his heart aching for the pain Ana is in. Shuri did inform Ana as well that her recovery process following the full knee replacement will take only four days, considering the advances and noninvasive surgery technique. However, no matter how advanced it seemed to be, there wasn’t too much to do to get around the pain of it.

He knows Ana won’t complain too often though. He knows her too well that if he asks if she needs something, that she’ll grit her teeth and say she’s fine. Ana is in pain, and Bucky won’t just stand by, leaning against the doorframe and watch her. So, he pushes himself off the wall, and enters their living room.

“I have an idea.” Bucky voices, bringing Ana’s attention from her knee to his face.

“I love you, babe, but sex will not make me forget the pain at the moment.” Ana quips playfully.

Bucky rolls his eyes, bending down to kiss the top of her head once he’s reached her. “Not what I was going to say, you minx.”

She lifts her hand, attempting to tug at his hair. He chuckles as he straightens up, and she can’t reach the wet strands surrounding his face.

“Then, what?” She questions curiously.

“I think you should soak in the mineral springs.” Bucky suggests. “T’Challa suggested it before. There’s special properties in the minerals that help heal the body even quicker.”

Ana considers this for a moment. “That might help actually. You put your arm on?”

“To help you, Ana.” Bucky answers softly. He places his left hand on her leg, keeping his touch delicate enough not to hurt her. “Want to take the brace off?”

“Please.”

Bucky does so, removing the ice then carefully undoing the brace, and pulling it apart from her thigh to her shin. He feels Ana’s fingers in his wet hair, brushing it away from his face. He places the brace on the coffee table, taking her hand in his to kiss her knuckles.

“C’mon, love,” Bucky smiles at her, supporting her back with his arm. “Let’s go heal you.”

Ana cackles, accepting his help and kissing his cheek.

*

When Bucky carefully pushes his way through the thin bush, he hears Ana’s breath leave her lips. The beautiful landscape expands into a large spring, azure water surrounded by tall moss filled trees and colorful wildflowers. There’s a soft blue natural glow radiating off the water, illuminating nicely with the light of the moon shinning between the clearing of the trees, translucent steam floats along the surface of the water. Little yellow lights flicker in and out floating in the air, the soft buzz of the little bugs drowned out by the gentle bubbling of the water.,

“Oh, wow,” Ana whispers in wonderment.

Bucky smiles at her reaction, carefully letting her down from his back. He makes sure to wrap his right arm around her waist, supporting the majority of her weight on his own body. He looks down at Ana, her features even more beautiful in the soft blue light, but despite how gorgeous she is, he can still see the underlying pain in her eyes.

“I came here often when they removed the port of my old arm,” Bucky informs quietly.

Ana looks up at him, her hand coming up to rest against his scars beneath his shirt. “Does it have healing properties?”

“In a way, yes. I’m not exactly sure which minerals are in it, but I know it helps with pain caused by inflammation. Which,” Bucky gently pokes her nose just to see her scrunch it up. “Is what you are dealing with.”

“And lack of circulation,” She mumbles.

He chuckles, leading her over to a bench at had been carved out from a tree. “That too. An hour in these waters will help ease the pain.”

Ana winces as she sits, looking around the spring. “I’ll try anything, really. Did it work for you?”

Bucky brushes her hair back. “Yes, it really soothed the bone deep pain I felt from having that damn thing fused to me for so long.”

“You didn’t have to put your arm on, you know,” Ana mutters, her eyes dropping to her hands. “I could’ve walked, or-“

He hooks his finger under her chin to lift her head. The golden specks shimmer in the moonlight, a sight that never fails to make his stomach flutter.

“I needed to bring you here without jarring your knee too much, sweetheart,” He tells her gently. “I wanted to have it. Now, enough stalling, doll face, and get in.”

Ana grumbles, quickly tugging at his hair. “You’re a doll face.”

Laughing, Bucky begins to pull his hair back, using the tie on his wrist to secure his hair in a high bun. He does the same to Ana, loving that she allows him to play with her hair at times. He watches her eyes flutter as he carefully gathers up the thick, silky brown strands to the back of her head, twisting it into her own bun. She pulls the hair tie off her own wrist, handing it to him when he needs it. After he’s finished, Bucky drops a delicate kiss on her forehead.

“Wait,” Ana speaks up as he pulls away. “We didn’t bring anything to…”

She trails off when she catches him smirking. She narrows her eyes, considering his expression, before she laughs. Bucky then takes his shirt off, dropping it on her lap. Then he trails his fingers down her arms, veering off to her ribs, and down to her hips until he grips the hem of her shirt.

“We’re really doing this? No one will catch us?” Ana inquires, looking around once more. She doesn’t look nervous, just curious.

“Yes, and no,” Bucky answers, giving her a mischievous little smile. “The trees are thick enough and the water is so blue, it actually hides your body from sight. Plus, we don’t want your clothes getting soaked, now do we? Arms up, darling.”

“And you call me a minx.” She rolls her eyes, lifting her arms.

The playful mood suddenly shifts to a serious one as Bucky slowly drags her shirt over her body, exposing her torso. No matter how many times he’s seen her bare, beautiful and naked, the sight of her newer scars will always haunt him. The bullet wounds on her stomach and shoulder stand out against her tan skin, raised, marred and shinning a few shades lighter in tone. It’s a constant reminder that Bucky almost lost Ana. It’s why he brought her here, so he can help ease her pain in a way that he couldn’t do before.

He drops her shirt on the bench, leaning over to connect their foreheads. He brings his right hand up to cup her jaw, staring into her eyes for a moment before he tilts his head and kisses her. He sneaks his left hand behind her back, expertly unhooking her bra. He brushes his fingers along the tattoo on her ribs before, sliding it off her arms with her help. He feels Ana smile against his lips before she pulls away.

“No sex, remember,” She whispers with amusement.

“Only need to be with you, Ana,” He responds honestly.

Bucky thinks it rare to see Ana blush these days, but he swears her cheeks darken in color. She gives him a bashful smile, before she wraps her arms around his shoulder, so he can help her with her shorts. Once they’re both undressed, Bucky carefully helps her stand, holding her steady as she wobbles on her left leg.

She can’t fully walk still, keeping the pressure off her right leg, so Ana leans against him for support. Bucky leads her to the end of the spring, helping her sit on the smooth rocks before he gets in the water himself. The spot he chose barely comes up to his hips, shallow enough for Ana to stand if she wants to. He turns to help her again, gripping her hips firmly as she holds onto his shoulders. He eases her into the water, careful to support her leg once she’s in.

Ana sighs in relief, nearly melting against Bucky’s chest as she maneuvers herself into a bridal position in his arms. Bucky watches as her eyes close, an expression of bliss washing over her face as she rests her head against him. He kisses the top of her head, knowing she trusts him to lead them to a spot where they can sit in the water comfortably. He does just that, coming to an even shallower spot, finding the smooth bolder Bucky would rest against when he came here before.

He gently moves Ana around, her eyes open now, settling her so her back is to his chest. He keeps his grip on her right thigh delicate while he gently moves her leg to rest over his. He leans his back against the boulder for support, wrapping his arms around her waist. The water comes up to Ana’s chest, gently rippling against her cleavage, a sight that has Bucky clenching his jaw and trying to ignore the spark of arousal in the pit of his stomach.

“Is this okay?” He questions, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

Ana hums, dropping her head back on his chest. “It’s so warm. Feels incredible already, like the pain is just subsiding right now. Thank you, Bucky.”

“Of course, Annie. Just wanted to make you feel better.”

Ana moves her arms under the water, finding Bucky’s own and laces their fingers together. She shifts her head, so when Bucky glances down at her, he can clearly look into her eyes. He counts the nine dots just because he can and because it’s become one of his favorite things to do.

“I love you,” She murmurs, smiling softly at him. “So much, Bucky. I love that you want to care take of me. I love that you do take care of me. But I want to take care of you too, to make you feel better, to ease your pain as well.”

“Annie,” Bucky breathes. He can’t help but chuckle a little, because after all this time, she still doesn’t see how much she affects him. “You started doing all of that the moment you came into my life. Don’t ever doubt that, baby. I love you so much, every day. I love every single part of you.”

The smile that graces her lips causes Bucky’s heart to flutter and skip and he’s suddenly overwhelmed with so much love for her. He can’t believe how lucky he is at the moment; how lucky he is to have every day with the woman he’s madly in love with. So, Bucky leans down to press his lips gently against hers.

She sighs against his mouth, feeling her body relax more, becomes pliable against him. Bucky squeezes her hands before he pulls back, smiling at her. Ana blinks slowly at him, her face soft and tired. He can see the exhaustion coming over her, everything from the surgery to the pain, to making the trip to the spring.

“You can take a nap, baby doll.” Bucky whispers, rubbing his thumb along the scars of her wrist. “I’ve got you.”

Ana lets her eyes flutter shut, adjusting her head once more. She releases a long, deep breath. “You always do, Winter Bunny.”

Bucky chuckles, kissing her temple. He holds her tightly, reveling in this serene moment with his girl as she drifts off against his chest. When she breathes, it’s almost like Bucky can feel her heart against his own.

 

****************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	7. Lazy Wakanda Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're starting to get somewhere now in these drabbles.... ;) The plot is forming... enjoy!

Lazy Wakanda days:

Ana stumbles into the hut, rubbing her dry eyes and yawning. She readjusts her top, the collar shifting as she knocked into the stone wall. She’s been in somewhat of a daze the entire day.

“Long day?” Bucky questions, sitting up from their makeshift bed.

Ana makes eye contact with him and nods, running her hand on top of Rosa’s head. Sometimes the goats wonder into the hut when Bucky doesn’t put them up for the night. The goat bumps her hand, then leaves the hut, probably to graze on some grass.

“Rough night before too,” She tells him, using her toes to get out of her shoes. “Had trouble sleeping.”

“I could tell,” He says, frowning. “I thought rubbing your back would help.”

“It usually does,” She sighs, then make her way to their bed. “It’s always rough for me on the anniversary.”

She kneels on the mattress filled with wool, and crawls over Bucky’s torso, mindful of the book he has, until he lays back down. Ana settles herself between his legs, her head resting on his chest, just over his heart. Her right arm hangs off the side, and Bucky is always so insanely comfortable that she nearly drifts off instantly. She’s emotionally drained today.

“I’m sorry, baby doll,” Bucky whispers, putting down his book. He slowly run his fingers up and down her spine. “I wish I can make you feel better today.”

Ana releases a long deep sigh, because Bucky still doesn’t believe her when she tells him. “You always do, Bucky. I just need to be near you.”

She feels him kiss the top of her head, his knuckles now tracing over the scars of her lower back. Her lips tremble at the touch, clenching her left hand and bunching up the cotton fabric of his shirt. She squeezes her eyes hard, trying to rid the sting of tears away.

“I learned a new song today, the kids taught me,” Bucky informs lightly. “Well, the melody at least. Want to hear it?”

Ana remains silent but nods, appreciating him wanting to distract her. To distract her mind and make sure she doesn’t fall too deep into the memories of her brother. She begins to feel a gentle rumble in Bucky’s chest, along with the soft hums of a beautiful song. She tilts her head to press a kiss over his heart, then settles once more.

Bucky continues to hum, rising and falling, short and long notes. It lulls her to sleep, listening to his gravely humming and the beating of his heart.

 

***

“Bucky,” Ana speaks, breaking the content silence.

They’re laying by in the meadow by the lake, just several yards from their hut. The bank offers soft sand and grass, the setting sun casting a brilliant mosaic of oranges, soft pinks and yellow. The music of crickets begins to play and there’s a light breeze cooling down the weather.

“Annie,” Bucky answers, his fingers stroking through her hair.

She’s resting her head on his chest again, her body pressed to his between his legs once more. She wraps her right arm over his left ribs, her hand coming to rest on the port of his shoulder, covered in a blue wrap.

“Are you at peace?” She questions, her voice sounding small and timid in her own ears.

Bucky stops his movements. His chest expands slowly before he answers. “Yes, I am,” He resumes his soothing fingers. “Why are you asking, baby?”

“I don’t want to ruin your peacefulness.”

“Ana, what in the world are you talking about?” He asks, sounding utterly bemused.

Ana shrugs. “Just want to make sure you’re happy.”

“With you,” He finishes her unspoken sentence.

She nods slightly.

“Sweetheart, I asked you to stay with me here five months ago,” Bucky begins softly, a hint of a smile in his tone. “I was happy knowing you were healed and safe. I was happy when you came here, and over the moon when you said yes. I have found my peace with myself, you helped me get there. You helped me learned it was okay to forgive myself, to accept me, and that things were way out of my control, that it wasn’t my fault. I have regained memories, and had the triggers erased.”

He pauses as Ana squeezes her eyes shut.

“So yes, I am at peace here. And I’m at peace  _here_ , with you. Just like this.” He kisses her hair. “I love you with all my heart and soul, Ana, please stop doubting yourself. Okay, darling?”

Ana nods, a slow smile spreading across her face. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”

***

Vibrations zing through Bucky’s chest as Ana’s giggles against his skin. He lifts his eyes up to the clear night sky, steam rising from the hot spring they’re currently in. He can’t help but chuckle with her as she presses her lips to the middle of his sternum.

“Do you think he saw anything?” She questions breathlessly, still laughing.

Bucky tightens his arm around her, knowing he did it out of protectiveness, but mainly possessiveness again. He can’t help it; the first time Ana met M’Baku, he flirted shamelessly with her. M’Baku flirts with Ana every single time he sees her now. It’s all in good fun, Bucky knows the leader of the Jabari Tribe, and someone who has become a good friend of his as well, would never actually over step a line. Ana always plays along, but in her own way of where she shoots him down every time with her wit and M’Baku, along with a few of his men and women, laugh heartily.

This time however, there was almost a mishap when he and T’Challa had been looking for them. To all four of their surprise, they stumbled upon Bucky and Ana enjoying the springs once more. And once more, both were completely naked. Thankfully the color of the water is thick enough to hide their bodies from sight, but it didn’t stop Bucky from quickly wrapping his arms around his girl and pulling her closer to his body, angling her around.

“He better not have,” Bucky grumbles playfully. “Water’s too cloudy.”

“God, their faces!” Ana breaks out into giggles again. “I’d never thought I’d see M’Baku blush. T’Challa can’t even walk straight when Nakia smiles at him.”

“As if you don’t purposefully try to get me to stumble all over myself either,” Bucky chides sarcastically.

Ana beams up at him. He recognizes the mischievous gleam in her eyes, right before she nonchalantly digs her nails in the crease of his thighs. He inhales sharply, eyes narrowing down at her, his cock twitching with interest between his legs. Ana quirks an innocent eyebrow.

“ _Шалунья_ ,” Bucky growls, squeezing her ribs and wiggling his fingers.

Ana squirms, squealing lightly as he tickles her. She removes her hands, so Bucky stops his fingers. She’s huffing out little chuckles as she settles back down. She tilts her head curiously at him, a few strands of wet hair sticking to her cheek.

“Did you just speak Russian?” She asks breathlessly.

“да. Yes,” He answers, moving the hair away from her cheek. “Why are you surprised, doll face? You know how to speak it.”

She tugs his wet hair in retaliation to the nickname. “Only for the Sessions. What did you call me?”

“What I always call you,” He teases, flashing her his most charming smile.

She narrows her eyes. “You call me a lot of things, Bucky.”

Bucky leans closer to her, making sure his lips graze over hers. “Guess.”

“You want no sex tonight, don’t you?” She deadpans.

“Unfortunately, I think I’m too sore for that.” He laughs, pulling back and resting against the rocks.

“Sore? Since when do you get sore, ya old man.”

“Children, goats, hay, carrying my lovely, little  _Шалунь,”_ He winks. “It wares down on an old fella like me.”

“You called me a minx, didn’t you?” Ana clarifies, ignoring his obvious sarcasm.

Bucky pulls her in by her waist. “What are you going to do about it, Annie Doll?”

She straddles his thighs, leaning closer and pressing her breasts against his chest. She nips lightly at his bottom lip, her hand slowly winding in his wet hair. He tries not to, but his exhale releases as a shudder, the feeling of her pressed against him like this always gets him riled up.

“Nothing,” Ana pouts, “since you’re too  _sore_.”

Then she pushes herself off the wall, swimming away from him. She only goes about four feet, but their connection is lost, and with it, Bucky’s breath. He just shakes his head, feeling like he’s fallen in love with her all over again. It’s a frequent occurrence.

He lifts his hand out of the water, curling his index finger to beckon her back. Ana winks before she dips herself under the water, Bucky watching her shadowy figure come closer to him. Once she’s near, she places her hands back on his thighs, lifting herself as she emerges out of the water. She presses her lips firmly against his, tasting of salt and something that has always been uniquely Ana. They stay like that for a while, lazily making out in the mineral hot spring.

“You should speak Russian more often,” Ana breathes against his mouth when they break for air.

“You already speak three languages in bed,” Bucky chuckles, kissing her chin.

“Russian would be four languages. Look at us be a polyglot couple.”

“You’re ridiculous and I love you.”

“ _Te amo con toda mi alma y todo mi corzón_ ,” Ana whispers, holding his face between her hands.

Bucky’s heart swells, once again struck with how much she loves him. He kisses her softly, three little pecks to her lips.

“I love you with all my heart and soul, too.”

The smile Ana gives him always makes his stomach flip. She kisses his forehead, before she sinks down to rest her head on his chest. They fall into a content silence, holding each other and breathing each other in.

“Seriously though,” Ana breaks the silence after five minutes. “Do you think he saw anything?”

Bucky groans dramatically.

***

A soothing touch is gently massaging the top of Bucky’s head, fingers buried deep into his hair. He releases a slow, long sigh through his nose, feeling utterly serene as he listens to the musical rhythm of Ana’s heartbeat. He gently squeezes her knee, the part of her his hand can reach, still to this day having to make sure that she’s real.

Bucky has never felt this calm, this relaxed, this peaceful in the past seventy years. On occasions, he still is plagued with nightmares, knowing that isn’t something that just fades away. However, they come less frequently. Ana is always by his side, ready to calm him with her words, or her energy. She has never failed to be patient with him, whether it was during the Deprogramming Sessions or their late night talks on the roof. Sometimes he misses the rooftop of the compound, but the meadow by the lake has now become their new place.

It’s where they are now, Bucky dozing off against his lover’s chest, after she assured him he wasn’t crushing her. He inhales slowly, breathing in her scent; it’s changed a little. Ana still smells like the ever presents flowers and rain, but now the fresh scent of wood and the lakeside is mixed in. He thinks, with a swell of pride and a little sense of possessiveness, that she smells a little like him now too.

He feels her fingers start to separate strands of his hair, twisting them together to form a braid. It’s one of her favorite things to do now, and Bucky allows her too. Because there are many moments between them that he loves, but these quiet ones, the ones where they use each other as pillows, barely any words spoken between them, are his favorites.

It reminds him that here, together in this beautiful gracious country, that they are safe. Bucky has been free. Bucky has made peace, and he has his best girl by his side, currently making little braids in his hair. It’s in these moments, how much he realizes Ana loves him. It’s not like he ever forgets, it’s just some days he feels it stronger in the forefront of his mind.

It’s in her delicate touches as she makes plaits, playing with his long hair or when she removes his vibranium arm. It’s in her rich eyes that reminds him of melted chocolate with nine flecks of gold. It’s in her smile when she laughs at him when he either stumbles over a lamb that’s ran out in front of him, or when he makes a pun she’s proud of. It’s in her lips when she kisses him, maps out his skin, his mouth, with hers. It’s in her shaky breaths when they’re pressed together, holding each other tight as they make love.

He feels it when Ana lets her guard down on those mornings and days following the nightmares. When she allows the full force of her empathetic energy to flow within him, reminds him how much she adores him, how much she truly and deeply feels connected with him. Each time she does it, it becomes stronger and stronger. Now, it’s to the point where they can feel when the other is gone for too long. They physically, know when they are, but it’s like the energies of their souls have become one, and missing it’s other half. He can feel her now, just as much as she can feel him.

Bucky shifts his head, pressing a tender kiss to her exposed collarbone. Ana gently tugs his hair, reprimanding him for moving as she braids, but she follows it with one little peck to his eyebrow. He smiles lazily at her, pressing another firm kiss to her skin. He breathes her in, still amazed that he has air in his lungs when he’s around her.

He nearly falls asleep when Ana softly begins to sing a Spanish love song, stroking her fingers down his spine. His sleep muddled brain lazily translates the words, and he can feel a small smile on his lips.

 _No tengas miedos ni dudas_ __  
Este amor es demasiado bueno  
Que tu seras mi hombre  
Yo te pertenezco todo entero  
Mira mi pecho, lo dejo abierto  
Para que vivas en el

 _Para tu tranquilidad me tienes en tus manos_ __  
Para mi debilidad la única eres tu  
Al final tan solo se que siempre te he esperado  
Y que llegas a mi vida   
Y tu me das la luz del bien  
Ese mundo donde tus palabras hacen su voluntad  
La magia de este sentimiento que es tan fuerte y total   
Y tus ojos que son mi paz

 

_Have no fears or doubts_

_This love is much to good_

_You will be my man_

_I belong to you entirely_

_Look at my chest, It is open_

_For you to live in it._

_For your peace of mind, you have me in your hands_

_For you are my only weakness_

_to the end, I only know that I will wait for you_

_That you are my life, and give me your light, and goodness_

_The world where your words are your will_

_The magic of this feeling, that is so strong and complete_

_And your eyes are my peace_

Bucky hears her soft voice fade out, the gentle lapping of the lake against the bank continues as their music. He feels her sigh contently, pressing another kiss to his head. Vaguely, he wishes they could stay in this moment forever, falling asleep in the sun setting sun, as the noises of the farm and birds and water surround them. Another thought pops in his head, making him feel more awake than he was just moments ago.

“I’m going to marry you one day, Annie.” He states quietly, as his heart beats rapidly in his chest.

He picks his head up after a few moments, wondering if she heard him at all. His smile spreads as he gazes down at her beautiful, sleeping face. He kisses the tip of her nose, admiring the faint scattered freckles on the bridge of it, the ones only visible when he’s this close. Bucky settles back down on her chest, feeling her arms tighten around him.

He’s drifting off to sleep when he hears her voice.

“Me too, Snowflake.”

***

Bucky rearranges the stacks of hay for the tenth time already. He’s trying to ignore his anxiousness, trying to keep busy and take care of the farm and his goats. He tried to distract himself, playing with the children and chasing them around. He always lets them out run him or escape his grasp the last second, just to see their gleeful smiles on their faces.

He sits by the lake, but only for a few minutes before he gets lonely and has to leave. He goes into his hut to straighten things out, but he quickly becomes bored of that. He goes into their apartment in the city, cleaning things that don’t need to be, fixing the bed for the 100th time, and bingeing Netflix. He tries to ignore it, but he can’t any longer, was never really good at ignoring Ana’s presence; or lack there of.

On the ninth day of this happening, Shuri gets fed up and sends Okoye to fetch Bucky, dragging him to the palace and into the Lab.

“You look as if someone stole your goats away.” Okoye says to him, side eyeing him with a little smirk.

Bucky tries and fails holding back his pout. “This has been the longest we’ve been apart since she’s moved here. Before that-“

“Ten long moths,” The general sighs, “Yes, White Wolf, we know.”

If Bucky wasn’t afraid she’d poke him in the ribs with her spear, he would have sassed her back. He doesn’t, so instead, he continues to pout because goddamnit, he misses his Annie Doll. He questioned why Ana had to be gone for so long for just a bridal shower, and she had pouted herself, saying there was more to help Pepper with than just the shower.

“Stop that brooding and get over here,” Shuri demands once she sees them. “You are a lost puppy without her.”

“I can’t help it,” He shrugs, eying the screen in front of Shuri. “I haven’t been able to sleep well since she left. I don’t think she has either, it’s like I can feel it. I can feel her.”

Both Shuri and Okoye share a look of sympathy.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” Shuri begins, tapping an image of a ring the screen. “You both have said that before, as if you’re energies have intertwine since she got here.”

“Ana said she can feel mine stronger than ever now,” Bucky relays. “Is it just a fluke thing, or is she becoming stronger?”

“Weren’t you the one to say that she doesn’t need to hold back anymore?”

“Yeah, that’s my theory at least. So, it allows her to channel her ability more freely, I guess.”

Shuri smiles. “I’ve been working on something for her, in case she’s ever called to help The Avengers again.”

Bucky levels the princess with a hard look. “Not likely,” He states firmly. Especially if he has a say in it.

Looking as if she’s trying to fight off a laugher, Shuri points to the screen. “I have to think of every possible scenario,  _Sergeant Barnes_.”

He rolls his eyes good naturally at the title.

“Which means, I found a way for Ana to safely channel her Energy Alchemy without draining her own life force. I’ve designed rings for her, one for each hand that she can wear everyday if she wants. The rings regulate her energy, absorb kinetic energy, like brother’s suit, and recycles it back into her if she needs it. It keeps her from using too much strength.”

“Oh, my god, Shuri,” Bucky breathes, marveling at the designs of the rings. Both rings are a sleek black, a few centimeters in width. Upon a closer look, there are two thin, nearly invisible lines circling towards the edges of the ring.

Bucky turns and pulls the teenage genius into a one-armed hug. “You’re goddamn amazing, kid!”

“Wait, wait, there’s one more thing,” She laughs, shoving him off playfully. “If she twists the rings, to the left on her left and right on, well, you get it, it activates a thin force field. The field acts like another layer of skin with how close it sits to her body. No one would be able to see it until it’s too late. It’s impenetrable. I’ve tested it several times myself. Then to deactivate it, she just needs to twist the rings the opposite way.”

“So, you’re saying if for some last resort effort and Ana has to go on a mission, she’s completely and 100% safe from harm?”

“Correct. You cannot even touch her once it is activated, otherwise you’ll just get thrown back.”

Bucky hugs Shuri again. He can’t contain how happy, excited and relieved the rings make him all at once.

“She’s going to love these!” Bucky says, looking over the rings again. He looks back at Shuri. “Thank you. I don’t why they would ever ask for her help again, especially since Stark is against it now, but thank you, Shuri.”

She smiles brightly at him. “Now you don’t have to wallow alone in your home until she gets back. You can just think about these the whole time!”

His shoulders drop. “I have not been wallow-“ Bucky catches sight of Okoye making an incredulous face. “Fine, I’ve been wallowing.”

“Your wife will be back tomorrow, Bucky.” Okoye reminds him kindly, compete opposite of the look she just gave him.

“She’s not my wife…yet,” He mutters the last word.

“What!?” Shuri exclaims so loud, every person in the lab looks over at them.

Bucky shrugs, stretching the back of his neck. It’s not like he’s never thought about it before. He’s thought about it for so long, even when him and Ana were apart for those long months. He’s been thinking about wanting to marry her for a while. In fact, he probably knew she was the absolute one when she tried making him punch himself in the face with his old metal arm; a year and a half ago.

“It’s just something I’ve been thinking about for a while, is all,” He admits sheepishly. He suddenly points a finger at both of them. “Do not tell her any of this!”

Shuri mockingly salutes at him, her expression full of glee.

 

Bucky ends up leaving the lab after a few more hours, all the while getting looks of utter excitement thrown his way. He just has to make it one more night alone in their bed, in the lonely apartment, then he’ll have Ana back in his arm again.

He checks the refrigerator, making sure there’s enough food to cook dinner for her when she comes home. He goes to clean again, but there’s nothing left to left or organize, so Bucky settles on reading instead. He picks up from where he set the sixth Harry Potter book down, reading until it’s a suitable time for dinner.

Finally, Bucky showers and gets in bed, cursing the time for going by so slowly. He misses Ana way too much, vaguely thinks it’s a problem, then remembers reading somewhere that most couples don’t sleep well without the other. He drifts off to sleep, having stolen Ana’s pillow for the past nine days.

 

Something soft and delicate is running through his hair, pulling him from a fitful sleep. Bucky opens his eyes, the time on the clock stares mockingly back at him. It’s only two in the morning, and he’s got another fifteen hours to go. He groans audibly, turning his head away from the damn clock.

A breathy chuckle makes his eyes snap open again. He turns quickly, now staring up at Ana, who’s smiling brightly down at him. She’s back early.

“Hi, sleepyhead,” Ana greets quietly. “Missed me? Since you stole my pillows.”

Bucky sits up so fast he nearly knocks them off the bed when he hugs her. He buries his face in her air, smelling mostly like the jet she was on, but the hint of flowers is still here. She feels warm, soft, yet solid in his arm, and he tilts his face, so he can kiss her neck, over her fluttering pulse point.

“ _God, yes_. I fucking missed you so much, baby,” Bucky mumbles into her neck.

Ana has her arms wrapped tightly around his back and shoulder, one hand buried in his hair. She sighs, content but tired and melts into him. “I miss you too, Bucky. God, I didn’t even sleep well the whole time I was gone. I  _missed_ you.”

Bucky falls backwards onto the bed, taking his girl with him. She snuggles against his chest, pressing little kisses against his bare skin, and over his scars. He kisses her forehead, her eyebrows, the top of her head.

“Shuri called me a lost puppy,” He tells her, rubbing his knuckles up and down her spine.

“Jesus, babe,” She laughs. “Pepper said I looked like someone stole my coffee away.”

“Angry?” Bucky questions confused.

“No, no, honey, the good dark roast.”

“Oh! Wow, that _is_ sad.”

Ana tugs his hair. “We’re both pathetic. Can’t even spend a week and a half away anymore.”

Bucky sighs a little sadly. “We had almost a year apart before, I think it’s fair if we miss each other after ten days.”

“Love you, Winter Flurry,” Ana murmurs. Then she props herself up, looking down at him.

She looks a little tired, probably from all the wedding planning she’s been helping Pepper with. Maybe a little jetlag as well, but she’s still as stunning as ever. Bucky counts the nine golden dots in her eyes, glittering in the moonlight shining through their window.

He lifts his hand up to tuck her hair behind her ear, then cups her jaw. “Love you, Annie Doll.”

Then he guides her head down until their lips meet, kissing slow and soft.

 

When Bucky wakes up for the second time in the morning, it’s too the sleeping, peaceful face of Ana. They’re lying on their sides, Bucky’s right arm hugging her naked waist, with her hand pressed lightly against his chest. This is one of his favorite things to do before she wakes up.

Bucky loves to take in the details of her face. Her long lashes brushing her cheeks, the faint freckles on the bridge of her nose, the dip of her cupid’s bow above her full, soft lips. The newer, tiny little scar by the corner of her mouth, leftover from the time they were both captured. Her brown and caramel hair falling over her forehead, the gentle away she inhales and exhales in her sleep.

He leans his head forward, placing a delicate kiss between her eyebrows. Ana sniffles in her sleep, shifting even closer to him, tucking her head under his chin. Bucky holds her tighter, and with a calm sense of complete confidence, thinks he will ask her to marry him soon.

*********************************************************************************************


	8. Pepper Getting Married: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. This was inspired by that goddamn Hugo Boss suit and the fact that someone just can't keep his damn tongue in his stupid gorgeous mouth.
> 
> Enjoy. There is a second part to this one.

All in all, the car ride is smooth. Luscious green trees pass them in a blur as they drive down the street, heading to a secret location. It would be a serene forty-five minutes from when they landed at the compound to the hotel they’re supposedly staying at, however, the constant jittering of a leg disturbs that.

“Bucky,” Ana says for the fifth time since he started. “Why are you so anxious? Everyone misses you.”

“Everyone miss  _you_ ,” Is Bucky’s response, ceasing his bouncing leg. He opts to wring his hands together instead.

Ana rolls her eyes is disagreement, placing her hand over his. He decided to wear his left arm for this trip, insisting that he didn’t want to frighten any children that might be there. Ana had almost smack him with the vibranium arm, if it wasn’t for Shuri scolding her and quickly taking the arm out of her hold.

“Babe, seriously, it’s going to be fine,” Ana promises him kindly. She squeezes his hands. “No one is going to be looking at you, and I mean that in the best way. I mean, I’ll sure as hell be looking at you, that goddamn suit is sinful on you.”

Bucky lifts their hands, kissing her knuckles. “Who is Hugo Boss again and why am I wearing a person?”

“He’s a famous designer, babe. Clearly he knew what he was doing when he designed this one.”

She drifts off, thinking of the day a few weeks ago when Bucky had tried on the navy blue wool [suit](https://i0.wp.com/www.trend-hotspot.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OCCASION_007_BOSS-Summer-of-Ease-with-Sebastian-Stan.jpg), with the crisp white dress shirt and striped cream and black tie. Ana physically had to hold herself back from jumping him right there in the dressing room. She had to bite her lip to suppress the embarrassing moan, and instead just nodded quickly to the dressing room assistant. She can’t wait to see him in it again.

 “How come I can’t see your dress beforehand?” He questions, his thumb drawing circles over the scars on her wrist.

“I want it to be a surprise. You already know its red.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea? That I should be here?”

Ana inhales slowly, reaching out with her empathetic healing and energy, attempting to calm his nervous. She’s felt his apprehension since they got on the jet that took them to the compound. Bucky smiles gratefully at her, nodding once they both feel him relax.

“I don’t mean for you to do that, Annie,” Bucky sighs, pushing his right hand through his long hair.

“Why are you so nervous?” She asks, now honestly concerned for him. “Tony personally invited you himself.”

He clears his throat, shifting. “It’s not that-“

“Excuse me, Ms. Rios, Mr. Barnes,” The Driver kindly interrupts them. “We have arrived.”

“Holy…” Bucky trails off, peering through the window.

Ana nods, leaning over his lap to get a better view of the luxurious hotel. Once they exit the car, the driver helps the bell hop takes their suit cases out. Bucky attempts to help them, but he’s waved off and they’re both ushered inside the hotel. Ana’s mouth drops open once they step into the lobby, the layout and design of the resort taking her breath away.

The resort clearly took inspiration from the Victorian ear, and crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling. The floor is pure marble it seems, as are the counter tops when they reach reception. Ana scans the large area, spotting luxurious couches and a grand piano in the far corner of the room. In the middle of the lobby is a giant pond, a quaint waterfall quietly rushing over smooth pebbles.

“Um,” Bucky’s voice and a gentle hand on her waist snaps Ana out of her awe. “He said we’re in the honeymoon suite?”

Ana rolls her eyes. “I swear to God, Stark. He thinks he’s hilarious.”

The nervous chuckle that escape Bucky doesn’t go unnoticed. However, Ana doesn’t question it, for he’s suddenly dragging her to the evaluators.

*

“Babe!” Ana shouts. “Sergeant Snowflake, get in here!”

“What’s the mat- damn.”

They’re standing in the spacious bathroom, a large shower in the shower and a giant jacuzzi style bath next to it.

Nodding, Ana excitedly tugs at Bucky’s sleeve. “If you don’t think we’re taking full advantage of that insane jacuzzi…”

She feels Bucky’s lips graze her ear, then softly kiss the spot behind it. Shivers run down her spine as she tilts her head to the side, giving him more access. All hints of nerves gone for the moment.

“Now, or later?” He murmurs, his voice like honey dripping in her ear.

“Fuck,” She breathes, her eyes fluttering close.

“Hmm, now it is then.”

*

The next day, Ana can’t find Bucky anywhere throughout the entire hotel. He greeted her in the morning with little kisses along her bare spine, and had coffee and breakfast delivered to their room. After that, she had gone to meet Pepper, and now Bucky is missing. There’s the lingering tickle of his nervous energy, of just _him_ , but she’ can’t for the life of her find where he is. Her searching comes to a halt when the wedding planner finds her instead, rolling her eyes as if she has to wrangle a toddler.

“The rehearsal is right now dear,” The planner chides, “the maid of honor is an important part of the ceremony.”

“Isn’t the bride and groom the real import-“ Ana silences herself at the look the planner gives her.

“We don’t have time for you to have secret little  _rendezvous_  with your…boy toy.”

The way the planner says it has a ping of anger shooting through Ana’s chest. As if this anal-retentive woman is passing judgement on Bucky, on their relationship. She didn’t miss the way the woman warily eyed her man when they met, like he was going to stab her in the eye with the straw from his drink earlier.

Ana narrows her eyes, glaring at the back of the woman’s head. “Bucky is my very stable, very loving boyfriend of over a year. And we can have rendezvous where ever we damn well please, thank you.”

The planner shoots her a glare over her shoulder, opening her mouth to respond. However, the iPhone in her hand abruptly buzzes, the screen going haywire before it completely shuts off.

“What the fuck?” The woman wonders confused.

“Watch your language please, dear. I’m not sure the bride would appreciate that.” Ana snips, then walks past her through the doors of the back patio.

*

Someone clears their throat, followed by a rather sharp jab of an elbow to ribs. Ana winces, rubbing the sore spot and glaring at Pepper.

“What the hell was that for?” Ana hisses.

Pepper sends a smile to the wedding planner as the woman shifts Rhodes into the correct place. They’ve been rehearsing for hours it seems like.

“You keep shutting her phone off,” Pepper states knowingly. “The more it happens, the longer we will be here. and I really need a drink because she’s on my last nerves.”

“You hired her,” Ana supplies with a pout. “She insulted Bucky.”

“She wasn’t like this when I hired her,” She sighs. Ana feels bad for her cousin now. “Please, Bug. The sooner this is over, the quicker we can eat.”

“You say that, but where is Tony?”

Pepper shrugs nonchalantly, causing Ana to give her a suspicious look. Before she can question the fact that Pepper clearly knows where her husband-to-be is, Tony strolls through the glass doors. He’s causal in his walk, and the planner seems to stumble over herself as she attempts to scold him. Ana suppresses a laugh as he brushes her off, sending a knowing smirk in Ana’s direction.

When he finally makes it to where the rest of them are standing, Tony winks at her. She doesn’t have the opportunity to question it, or why he was late in the first place. Thankfully, they finish the rehearsal, and end up at the restaurant rented out for the bridal party and selected guests.

Bucky has been speaking with Tony and Pepper in the furthest, darkest corner of the room for a good ten minutes. She wants to go over there, since Bucky’s anxiousness has kicked up several notches. She hopes he isn’t trying to convince them that his presence at the wedding is a bad idea. She’s pulled out of her thought when someone takes the empty seat next to her.

“You’re a spy,” Ana speaks up, swirling her wine around in the glass. “What are they saying?”

“What makes you think I can read lips?”

Ana shoots Natasha the flattest look. Natasha shrugs, then steals the dinner roll from her plate. Ana quickly swats her hand, the roll dropping onto the table.

“Go steal Clint’s food,” She scolds.

The roll on the table suddenly levitates in the air, a faint red glow surrounding it. It flies back into Nat’s open, waiting hand, and she smirks triumphantly at Ana.

“Rude,” Ana grumbles as Wanda sits across from them. “Can’t you read minds?”

“Why do you looks so put out?” Wanda questions, smiling lightly. “He’s fine.”

“He’s been nervous about this trip for a week, and he’s still anxious about it,” She answers, her eyes slipping back to where Bucky is. “I just don’t want him thinking that he doesn’t belong here or something. If its other people making him nervous, then we can leave early after the wedding tomorrow.”

“I don’t think it’s that,” Natasha inputs around her chewing. She doesn’t offer anymore.

“Maybe Steve knows,” Ana begins to stand up, however, Nat pulls her back down.

“If it’s something he really can’t handle, he’ll tell you, Ana. Now, are you going to finish what’s in your glass? Because Wanda swiped the bottle of Bordeaux and we haven’t seen you in months.”

“Too busy having knee surgery and being sickeningly in love with Sergeant Brooding over there,” Wanda teases good heartedly.

A fondness comes over Ana’s heart at she looks at her friends. “Let’s go!”

*

Bucky’ tongue swipes across his bottom lip, Ana now at the count of six. She narrows her eyes at him as she struggles to get the zipper up.

“Stop that, Snow Flurry,” She demands, pointing a finger at him.

“Stop what, darlin’?” He asks innocently. His blue eyes roam slowly down her body.

“Your tongue and that mouth and…” She gets distracted as he bites his lip. “Fuck you.”

He smirks, uncrossing his legs and leaning back in the chair. The muscles of his thighs flex and he knows exactly what he’s doing to her. His eyes have darkened with lust, that cocky little smile still playing at the corners of his mouth.

“I thought you wanted the dress to be a surprise,” He says coyly.

She narrows her gaze. “It was, but it’s a good thing I didn’t wait because I can’t get the zipper unstuck and you’re just sitting there like you want to eat me instead of helping.”

“Well, baby, I haven’t had dessert yet.”

Ana balks, her hands dropping from the back of her dress. The nervous Bucky from earlier as completely gone away, replaced now with his confident sexiness. It’s such a contraindication, that it leaves Ana breathless. She’d marched right over to him, straddle his sinfully thick thighs and make him pay for his tongue licking across his lips. However, it’s only fifteen hours until the wedding, and she can’t get the damn zipper up.

“You’ll get nothing if you don’t get over here and help me,” She threatens.

Bucky laughs, finally relenting. He makes his way over to her, drops an apologetic kiss to her bare shoulder and tugs the zipper up. Of course it goes up on his first try, and his eyes meet hers in the mirror.

“Seriously, Ana, this dress is beautiful on you,” He whispers, trailing his hands up her back. “Zipper was caught on the material.”

Ana smiles at him, then fully looks at herself in the mirror. The red chiffon [dress](https://img.shein.com/images/shein.com/201512/1451039154291053812_im_600x799.jpg) flows down her body, cinching at her ribs, the color popping nicely against her olive skin tone. The sweetheart neckline takes a flirty plunge down her chest, exposing her décolletage. There are two straps on each shoulder, one resting on top of her shoulder, the other dropping a few inches down her arm in a cold shoulder style. There’s a side split opening at the middle of her thigh, hidden unless she pops her leg out.

“It’s not like, too sexy is it?” She questions, grabbing the dress by the opening of her leg. Pepper allowed her to pick out the style of the dress as long as it was red.

“I’m biased, I can’t answer that,” Bucky chuckles as he wraps his arms around her chest. “However, I do think there’s something stunningly classy about red. The woman in it though…”

Ana spins and tugs his hair, gasping in mock outrage. “Says the man who can’t seem to keep his tongue in his mouth.”

Bucky winks, then dips his head down and kisses her. Ana wraps her arms around his waist, pressing herself flush against his body. She nips at his lips, pulling a low moan from his mouth just as a knock comes from the door.

They both sigh, breaking away from each other’s mouths. He presses his forehead against hers, his hands slipping down her sides to grip her hips.

“It’s beautiful on you, Annie Doll,” Bucky says again. “Truly.”

The knocking becomes frantic.

“Thank you,” Ana whispers, pressing a light kiss to his upper lip. “I’ll get it.”

*

Ana didn’t return to her hotel room once Pepper practically shoved her broken heel at her. Together, her and her rather calm cousin ran out to find an open store for some super glue. It resulted in buying snacks and having several other girls, including some distant cousins Ana hadn’t seen in years, all pile up in Pepper’s room, eating and drinking. Ana had grabbed her phone and sent a quick message to Bucky, apologizing that she wouldn’t be back, since Pepper asked her to stay the night in her room. Bucky understood, saying that a few of the guys, including Tony, forced him out of the room to celebrate before as well.

The morning of the wedding is unusually calm, with Ana subtly changing Pepper’s energy around to make it so. As she sits in the chair getting her hair and makeup done, Pepper sends her a knowing and grateful smile.

Ana had finished with getting her own hair and makeup done, and has been texting Bucky back and forth. He sends her a picture of the suit he’s wearing, and she nearly drops her iced coffee on her dress. Goddamn, if her boyfriend doesn’t clean up amazingly well. Her heart flutters a little in her chest at the sight, the suit fitting him so well, and even in the picture she can see his eyes popping against the navy.

“Talking to your man?” Pepper suddenly asks, taking a sip of her water. “You have your Bucky face on.”

Ana knows that look she’s giving her. The one that says Pepper knows exactly what she’s thinking. She tries to school her expression, but it’s too late.

“He’s wearing that Hugo Boss suit Tony insisted he should wear,” Ana nearly whines because she’s just a weak human after all. “He’s gorgeous.” She shows the picture to her.

“He cleans up nicely,” Pepper agrees, then smiles brightly. “Maybe he can wear something like that for your wedding.”

Ana drops her phone on the floor. “Funny. We aren’t even engaged, so…”

Pepper mutters something against the rim of her glass as Ana picks up her phone.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, Bug.” Pepper answers, waving her hand.

Before Ana can press, the wedding planner pops in, urging Pepper to go take the first look photos. Ana catches her cousins’ hand before she leaves. It fully hits Ana as she stares at Pepper in her wedding gown. A gorgeous elegant dress, with a v neck a-line, details with delicate lace over the thing straps and bodice. The satin skirt is full, just the right amount of volume as it flows down her body, the train extended just a few feet from the back. Her veil is short, but beautiful, the edged trimmed with lace as it brushes against her shoulders.

“Pep,” She begins softly. “You’re absolutely stunning.”

Tears begin to gather in Pepper’s eyes as she brings Ana into a tight hug. “You’re going to make me cry, then you’ll get in trouble with Jenny.”

Ana couldn’t care less. “That’s why it’s waterproof makeup. But seriously, we both know how lucky Tony is. I’m so, so…oh now I’m starting.”

Pepper giggles softly, squeezing her.

“I’m so happy for you both.”

**

As Ana waits by herself in the ladies lounge where they got ready, another text comes through from Bucky. She glares at the screen, ignoring his text because she had been looking at the picture again. She didn’t notice it before, but he had his tongue out again, poking at the corner of his lips. That little shit, and he calls her the minx.

Ana replies, then leaves the room, keeping her phone on the chair. She’s meets Bucky just five minutes later, only a few rooms down from the lounge. Her heart nearly stops when she spots him, walking, strutting more like, down the hallway. The suit is even better the second time around, cutting and fitting him like it was personally designed for him. He had trimmed his beard down, a closer cut to his face, and his hair is slicked back. He smiles coyly at her, running that damn tongue over his lips once more. Before he can say or do anything, Ana points a finger at him.

“Put that fucking tongue back in your mouth, Winter Flurry, I swear to god,” She threatens lightly.

Bucky comes as close as he can without touching her. His blue eyes dance with mirth, the color popping brilliantly against the navy. He dips his head down, his lips hovering over her ear.

 “What are you going to do about it?”

His voice is low, gravely, laced with arousal. His words, his tone, his breath sends electric sparks down her spine, curls in her stomach and shoot straight to her core. Ana shifts her legs, placing her hand on his chest to gently push him back a few inches. His eyes have darkened with clear lust as he slowly drinks her.

Ana’s breath stutters briefly, suddenly at a loss for words. She snakes her hand up to the knot of the striped tie at his neck. She wraps her fingers around the cotton material, about to tug him close so she can kiss that goddamn smirk off his face, when they’re interrupted.

“There you are!” It’s Jenny, the lovely wedding planner. “It’s twenty minutes before the ceremony and here you are jerking around!”

Ana rolls her eyes, she just wanted five minutes with him. “I wish I was jerking  _something_ ,” She murmurs, letting go of Bucky’s tie.

Bucky makes a strange noise of combined amusement and embarrassed. He coughs to cover it up. “Later, doll face.”

Ana narrows her eyes at the pet name, about to scold him when she’s abruptly being tugged away.

“Let’s go, now!” The planner says. “You’re like a child!”

Reaching a hand out in front of her, Ana pretends to grab at Bucky. She’s mouths,  _“help me!“_

Bucky laughs, then slowly darts his tongue out, wetting his lips from one corner of his mouth to the next. Ana drops her hand narrowing her eyes. That little shit is going to get it, then she’ll be the one wearing the smug smile on her face.

She drops her empathetic walls, sending her feelings towards Bucky as he turns and walks away. He visibly stumbles, shooting a – what he probably thinks is a menacing look- over his shoulder. Knowing he felt the full force of her desire for him, Ana winks. Then she disappears around the corner.

*

The music begins to play, cuing Ana to walk down the aisle, bouquets of white and red peonies in her hand. She keeps a normal pace as she approaches little stage, her eyes roaming over the guest before snapping to the alter. Tony is patiently standing there, his hands folded in front of him, the gray suit tailored and accented with a small red peony. He looks nervous, tapping his fingers against his knuckles, but smiles and winks when Ana catches his eye.

She can feel all eyes on her, but only one gaze burns her skin, and he’s not even close to her. She determinedly keeps her gaze ahead, keeping the genuine smile on her mouth as she ascends the two steps to the raised stage. She can’t help but greet Tony with kiss on his cheek, and winks at Rhodey, who nods playfully.

When Ana takes her place, she can’t help but let her eyes scan the guests again. Almost immediately she sees him, his blue eyes standing out like the glittering ocean in the sun. All signs of teasing are gone. Bucky is smiling at her, the crinkles by his eyes soft, but that damn tongue of his slowly flickers out again, licking his bottom lip. She knows he didn’t do it on purpose, but the motion makes her heart flutter and the heat curl in the pit of her stomach.

He mouths  _“beautiful”_  to her, and Ana returns a smile and a little wink. Then the music gets louder, signaling my everyone to stand. When Pepper appears looking like an angel next to Happy, Ana bites her like to keep herself from crying. She turns to look at Tony.

He swells at the sight of Pepper, his eyes quickly filling up with his own tears. His smile starts off soft, but it slowly takes over his entire face as he inhales a shuddering breath. Ana has to look away, otherwise she’ll cry. Happy hands Pepper off to Tony after a kiss to her cheek.

However, when vows are exchanged, Ana silently shed several tears.

*

Ana stumbles into the hallway, blinking away the popping spots in her vision. The after-ceremony photos were taking a toll on her eyes and she was glad her part of it was over. She readjusts her dress, the first strap slipping down her shoulder, then begins to make her way to where she remembered a powder room to check her makeup.

She doesn’t get there though. She passes another hallway, nearly running into someone, until they grab her by her bicep and quickly, gently shove her into a closet. She’s confused for a nanosecond, before she’s pushed up against the door, a solid warm body trapping her. Both her wrists are pinned to the door in a firm grip.

“You look so fucking sexy in this dress,” Bucky growls lowly, before searing his lips to hers.

Their kiss is quick, hot,  _dirty_. It has Ana whimpering into his mouth in seconds. He doesn’t give her time to respond, just kisses her deeply, curls his tongue against hers. Ana tries jerking her hands from his, but his fingers tighten, and suddenly his thigh is slipping between her legs.

“Fuck,” She gasps, turning her head so she can breathe. Bucky nips and sucks along her jaw, her neck, biting harshly over her pulse point. “Fuck, baby, let me touch.”

“Not yet, darlin’. God, you look beautiful.”

Her heart is pounding, and she spreads her legs wider, the slit of the dress falling off to the side exposing her bare leg. Bucky flexes his own thigh, pressing harder against her and Ana can feel how wet her delicate lace panties are.

Ana turns her head to find his lips once more, meeting him with passionate, biting kisses. Finally, Bucky can’t resist her exposed leg, for he drops his hand, trailing fire with his fingertips down her side, her waist, her hip, and finally grabbing her thigh to hitch her leg over his hip. He grinds against her, his cock hard in his trousers, as his tongue licks the roof of her mouth.

Shoving her left hand in his hair, Ana harshly grips at the roots. Bucky inhales sharply as she pulls him back just slightly. His eyes are dark with a hungry desire, gleaming with in the small amount of light shining through the cracks of the door.

“That goddamn tongue of yours, Bucky, I swear,” Ana pants, her own voice husky. “Put it to good use.”

He chuckles, releasing her right hand from his grip. Immediately Ana brings her hand to his tie, wrapping it once around her knuckles.

“Am I not?” Bucky questions huskily, his left hand grazing her shoulder.

His fingers slowly begin to pull down booth straps of her dress down her arm. He crosses his touch over her chest, firmly cupping her breast. But before he can yank the top of her dress down, Ana drops her leg and tightens her hold on his tie, bringing him even closer.

“No,” She whispers wickedly. “I know a better place.”

She hears the air catch in Bucky’s throat as she carefully pulls his tie down and push’s his head to follow. He understands immediately, his knees buckling. He’s suddenly on the ground, bunching up her dress for access; all sense of his nerves from earlier are gone. Ana lets go in favor of bracing herself on his shoulders, for Bucky is suddenly mouthing at her clit over her panties.

“Fuck  _yes_ ,” She hisses, her eyes fluttering.

Bucky moans against her, the sound vibrating straight to her heart. “You fucking drive me wild, doll,” He mumbles against her.

“I don’t think you know how fucking attractive you are in a suit, babe,” Ana pants, her chest already heaving.

He chuckles against her before she feels cool fingers on her skin. His touch is accompanied by the sound of ripping material, followed by his hot tongue licking a firm, broad stroke over the length of her. Ana bites her lip to muffle her cry of pleasure. Bucky licks her fast, working his jaw and she can feel her own arousal soaking his chin, his beard.

His beard that will leave a burning sensation on her thighs, one she wants to feel for the rest of the reception. Abruptly, Ana moans loudly, feeling Bucky’s fingers spread her open and dives his tongue into her dripping pussy. She clenches around him, causing him to groan once more, encouraging Ana to grind against his face when he pulls her hip closer. She does just that, hooking her leg over his shoulder and sinking her fingers into his hair again.

“Bucky, fuck babe, just like that,” Ana whimpers into the thickening air, sweating prickling at her temples

Bucky fits his whole mouth over her smooth mound, melting her into a boneless mess quickly. He does something with his tongue against her walls, fucking it deeper into her. It has Ana riding against his face sporadically, gasping and moaning.

She tries to find purchase on the door behind her, arching her back and pressing her shoulders against it. She only lasts several seconds before she feels herself slipping down, no thanks to the sweat gathering along her exposed back. For a moment she thinks she’s going to slip down the door and land in an awkward position. But before she knows it, Bucky’s mouth is gone, and her legs are wrapped around his hips and he’s pressing her against the opposite wall.

“Fuck!” Ana gasps completely aroused as her back hits the wall.

“I’ve got you, Annie Doll,” Bucky assures softly, before attacking her mouth once more.

She tastes herself on his tongue, trying to suck it into her mouth. He moans again, Ana scrambles her hands down his pants and unbuttoning and unzipping.

“Want you now, Sergeant,” Ana breathes hotly into his mouth.

“God yes,” Bucky hisses, pulling back to look into her eyes. There’s only a ring of blue left in his gaze, his pupils dilated with burning lust. “Been wanting to fuck you in this goddamn dress since you put it on, baby.”

“I love you,” Ana can’t help but tell him as she finds his hard cock.

Bucky huffs a laugh, turning into a moan. “Love you too, Annie. Couldn’t fuck you in that black dress, so I’m gonna make up for it now.”

“What Black dre- oh fuck!”

The second Ana freed his thick cock, hot and pulsing in her hand, was the second Bucky let her slip down, sinking her wet heat onto his cock.

“ _Jesus,_   _baby doll_. So perfect every time,” Bucky growls lowly. He wraps his left arm around her waist to support her, using his right arm to prop up her leg.

Ana keens, whimpers, nods. She can’t think clearly, her mind overcome by pleasure. She hugs her arms around his shoulders, biting and sucking hard kisses into his neck.

“Fuck me, handsome,” She mumbles against his skin.

She feels him smile against her temple before he does just that. “Keep quiet, darlin’. Don’t want anyone else to see you like this. Can you be my good girl and do that for me?”

His words have her clenching her walls around his cock. “Fucking yes,  _please_.”

Bucky suddenly snaps his hips up, fucking deep and hard and fast into her. She releases little gasping moans, dropping her head back, exposing her lips to Bucky. He kisses her passionately, swallowing every little noise she makes. Ana grips the back of his hair again, pulling his head back and breaking their kiss so she can mouth at his sinful jaw. So, she can suck little bruises into the line of his neck, biting at the flutter vein in his neck.

They fuck quick and dirty, the sharp sound of skin slapping against skin fills the little closet. Bucky’s fingers dig into her hip. His low groans and hitched breathing make her climax curl in her stomach, makes it way down to her pussy, clenching around his cock again and again.

He pulls back a little, Ana trying to keep her eyes open, watching him as he glances down. “Fuck, always look so good taking my cock, Annie.”

When she first met him, she never thought Bucky Barnes would have such a dirty mouth in bed. It’s something she lives for now, something that makes her come incredibly fast and unexpected. She loves it. She loves him.

“Bucky,” Ana murmurs, her eyes fluttering shut as she drops her head back again. She hits the wall rather hard, but she doesn’t feel it. All she feels is white hot pleasure. “Gonna come.”

Bucky thrusts his hips fast, coming forward to kiss her collarbone. “Me too, sweetheart. Come for me, Ana.”

Then he’s biting sharply at the swell of her breasts, and she comes right at that moment. She bites her lip to remain quiet, but she finds Bucky’s face with her hands, bringing him up to kiss her. Bucky moans, his hips stuttering as he abruptly comes, shooting hot strips inside her.

They lazily make out for a couple minutes, coming down from their high, panting and trying to catch their breath in a fruitless effort. Finally, he carefully helps Ana find the ground again, keeping his hands on her hips to steady her on shaky legs. She didn’t realize her heels had fallen off, now laying haphazardly on the ground.

Ana takes a final deep breath, her eyes scanning over her lover. She chuckles, reaching up to fix his hair, his tie, and his shirt. Bucky smiles goofily at her, doing the same to fix whatever of her hairstyle he messed up. He replaces the straps of her dress, and tries soothing out the wrinkles he created by the slit. He gently massages the back of her head, kissing her forehead tenderly.

“You smacked your head pretty hard there. Are you alright?” Bucky checks, his eyes now concerned.

“Barely felt it,” Ana smiles. She looks down at the floor and spots her ripped, maroon lace underwear. She picks them up, dangling the material on her fingers. “This is the 9th pair, mister,” She scolds playfully.

Bucky shrugs like he doesn’t give one single damn. “Maybe you shouldn’t wear them anymore,” He smirks.

Ana invades his space, her nose grazing his. She bats her lashes as she looks up at him, hooking her finger into his belt loop.

“Maybe you can keep them as a reminder to buy me new ones,” She says slyly, then she stuffs the ripped panties into his back pocket. “I have a reception to get to, Snowflake. See you there.”

Then Ana winks, pats his jaw once, and turns to quickly open the door. She checks either end of the hallway before she makes her exit. Leaving Bucky standing in amused awe of her in the closet.

*

No one knows how long it took Ana to find her makeup, and cover the darkening love bites on her skin. No one knew what her and Bucky did in that closet. No one knew that as the two of them danced, that her panties were still in his pocket. When on one is looking, Ana drops her hand to his ass, just to make sure it’s there.

“Behave,  _Шалунья_ ,” Bucky chuckles lowly, grabbing her hand in his again. He slowly spins them around, leading her in a waltz.

“Just making sure,” She whispers then kisses his chin.

“Didn’t mean to get carried away. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Don’t ever apologize for that, Bucky. I love it. I love you.”

Bucky beams down at her, the crinkles appearing again. “I wonder what we’d be like at our wedding, if we can’t even control ourselves here.”

His light, curious words halt her heart, her breathing. Ana scans his face for any signs of mirth, but all she sees is love. He’s serious. He’s musing about their future wedding. Everything falls back to normal within her body, because she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it to. She smiles brightly at him.

“Edible underwear is a thing,” She responds innocently.

Bucky blinks in shock, then he’s laughing loud and unabashed. He pulls her in and when he kisses her, Ana can’t tell who is happier in this moment on this day; herself or the newly weds.

 

*******************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if anyone guessed why he was so nervous in the first place....


	9. Pepper Getting Married: Part 2

Ana can’t understand what changed from Bucky’s anxiousness at the beginning of the trip to now. His nerves just seemed to have disappeared, and she never got an opportunity to ask him what was really bothering him. Now, he seems blissful, like he’s truly enjoying himself. He’s even met every cousin, great aunts and uncles of Ana’s on both side of her family, a calm smile on his face the entire time.

 

“Tell me,” Bucky muses lightly as they sit at the table, “was Pepper the one to make the decision to have a melted Nutella fountain, or did you have some sort of hand in that?”

 

Ana casually sips her wine, licking off a lingering drop from her lip. She doesn’t miss the way Bucky’s eyes follow the trail of her tongue, and she’s reminded of their earlier time in the closet.

 

“I may have suggested it. Also, Pepper was the one to introduce me to Nutella in the first place, so, technically, I suggested it to make her happy.”

 

Bucky laughs. “And dipping whole cupcakes into it?”

 

“Mine and mine alone,” She beams proudly at him.

 

“You know Wilson is play fighting with your third cousin with cupcake skewers, right?”

 

Ana turns to look over her shoulder, the sight of a grown man sword fighting with a cupcake on a stick with her nine-year-old cousin makes her bark out a laugh. “That’s adorable”

 

She feels Bucky’s cool vibranium fingers graze along her bare shoulder, bringing her attention back to him. He kisses her eyebrow briefly, before offering her a goofy little smile.

 

“Want one?” He asks, his blue eyes lifting over her head.

 

“I know you do,” She chuckles. She brings her hands up to adjust his collar. “I can see that love bite there, Mr. Flurry.”

 

“Whose fault is that, sweetheart?” Bucky growls before he brings his right hand to the back of her neck and tugs her in for a kiss.

 

Ana giggles against his lips. “Yours.”

 

Bucky pulls back laughing. “I’ll get you one too. A s’mores one, right?”

 

“You know me so well,” Ana pretends to swoon, batting her eyelashes.

 

“And then some,” He responds, winking at her. “Don’t let Thor or Parker steal another dance with you while I’m gone.”

 

Ana jokingly shoves him away.

 

Bucky is only gone for a minute before she feels someone approaching behind her. She doesn’t bother to look, since the person decides to occupy the seat Bucky was just sitting in. The playful energy morphs into a feeling that has her skin crawling. Ana bites the inside of her cheek the second she sees the white bristled mustache dawning the face of Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross. She turns in her seat to offer him a polite smile, however she doesn’t have a good feeling about this. She hasn’t seen this man in almost a year.

 

“Secretary Ross, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

 

“Ms. Rios,” Ross greets lightly, almost as polite as her. “I haven’t heard much of you since your knee surgery. How is the recovery going?”

 

“Very well, thank you,” Ana fibs, staring him straight in his eyes. She recovered within four days. “Knee surgery is always a bit invasive.”

 

“That it is,” He nods, placing his hands on the table. “I am curious to know why you decided to travel outside of New York for it, considering your plethora of highly skilled surgeons you have contacts with.”

 

There is it. Ana knew this was going to come up. She just knew his presence at the table wasn’t just to offer a friendly greeting. She hopes Bucky sees who she is talking to and stays clear of the table. She knows exactly where this conversation is going to lead to. She also knows he’s bating her; Tony has been covering for Ana’s leave of absence. Ross has been suspicious that she doesn’t live in the States anymore.

 

“I figured a change of scenery would help with the recovery process. New York can get overly stuffy at times,” She answers smoothly, wrapping her fingers around her wine glass and taking a small sip.

 

“I’m sure your co-workers and the medical department miss your help,” He states casually.

 

“Possibly. Or they’re just glad there’s enough coffee to go around now,” She chuckles.

 

Ross, to his credit, laughs along. “I’m sure the team misses you as well, and Sergeant Barnes. You both seemed expediently helpful.”

 

Breathing slowly through her nose, Ana drops her smile and formality. She can feel the muscle twitching in her jaw already.

 

“How about we skip all this small talk and get to why you really came over here.”

 

“Good to see your perception hasn’t changed,” Ross says, his tone changing into a stony one.

 

“I applaud your cleverness here, Ross,” Ana shakes her head, narrowing her eyes. “Cornering me at Tony and Pepper’s wedding. Does Tony know this was your plan all along? Come for the free steak then bully his guests into agreeing to your agenda?”

 

“Signing onto The Accords is a safety to yourselves and those surrounding you.”

 

Ana snorts, slowly gripping the material of her dress beneath the table to calm herself. “That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve heard from you.”

 

Ross’ beady eyes gleam with irritation. “I gave them time, Rios. Time to decide while you allegedly worked on the Deprogramming Sessions. I gave you time to consider the possibility as well.”

 

“Sorry to disappoint, but not once did I ever remotely consider The Accords, let alone signing them,” Ana informs him, smiling saccharinely.

 

She’s at least being honest here. She completely forgot about the damn Accords while working with Bucky. She was too busy helping him and falling in love and trying to keep him out of Hydra’s hands.

 

The Secretary’s expression hardens, no longer putting up the feigned friendliness. “As an Avenger, you either sign it, or be considered a criminal by breaking the Accords if you opt to step in without our consent.”

 

“That’s all well and horribly manipulative,” She snips sarcastically. “However, I am not an Avenger. Never was, never going to be.”

 

He leans closer, almost in a threatening manner. “You became one when you helped on that mission,” Ross reminds her.

 

She narrows her eyes. “You mean the time Tony asked me himself to join, because I was basically the only person to stop that threat to the entire state of New York’s power supply? That was once. That was before you decided to revisit the Accords.”

 

Ross’s lips spread into a haughty little smile on his lips. “Barnes, too.”

 

Ana grinds her teeth, a flash of anger shooting through her stomach, before looking him dead on. “Bucky would never sign something that willing gives away his freedom to choose.”

 

“Are you sure about that?”

 

“Are you implying something, Secretary Ross?” She berates lowly. She can feel her anger beginning to boil inside her. The LED lit centerpiece flickers before the light goes off. She has to grip her dress harder to control herself, otherwise the entire resort with be out of power.

 

“There may be a deal I’m prepared to offer him.”

 

This isn’t good. “Oh? Enlighten me then.”

 

“If he signs, his record will be expunged. Sergeant Barnes will be free and clear of any and all crimes. He will have no other choice but to sign, considering those options.”

 

Ana is becoming livid, her lips pinched at the corners. Ross just blatantly threatened Bucky. She can feel the air starting to charge between them, and since all she can feel from the Secretary of State is a calm, pompous vibe, she knows the energy is solely her.

 

Shifting in her seat, Ana fully faces him, showing him that she isn’t afraid to challenge him. She isn’t afraid to stand up for Bucky, and she will take any hit or threat thrown his way, no matter what. She will defend Bucky, even when he’s being coerced by the government. She plasters on an overly sweet, overly patronizing smirk on her mouth.

 

“You mean the crimes Sergeant Barnes was tortured, brainwashed and forced to commit for seventy years by the hands of Hydra?” Ana questions sardonically. “Or the record where it’s states he was the longest prisoner of war? Or the one where there was another deal in place I had no knowledge about? Deprogram the triggers, and he’s free and clear of it all? Which one were we talking about again?”

 

Ross chuckles humorlessly, straightening in his seat. “But you didn’t Deprogram him, did you Ana?”

 

Ana snaps, forcefully smacking her hand down on the table. She leers at him, putting all the fire of anger she has behind it. The string of lights stretching over the reception area begin to pop, causing for some startled guests to yelp. She doesn’t spare it one thought, all she does is sit up higher just like Ross did. She will not back down from this.

 

“If I recall, you have to be an active member of the Avengers to sign the Accords,” She states, practically snarling. “The disagreement between said Avengers at the airport in Germany no longer mattered since the Accords had been put on hold. Given which, everyone else’s actions were excused. At the time, Sergeant Barnes wasn’t even a part of the team, and held very important information about a very important, very real threat. So, what you are saying is a moot point, and I don’t take kindly to _anyone_ , threatening the freedom of Bucky.”

 

Ana holds her glare, staring a high-ranking member of the United States Government down. His eyes narrow, and a vein in his neck throbs. She sees it in his expression, no matter how hard he tries to keep his poker face, that he knows she is right. That she has him beat, and unless herself or Bucky officially come initiated as members of the Avengers, the Accords and Ross’ threats hold no meaning.

 

Ross lifts his hands up is surrender. His expression breaks, an abrupt, nearly out of place laughter erupts from him. It’s unsettling. “Unfortunately, I can’t argue there.”

 

“Plus,” Ana continues, ignoring his words. “The Accords pertains only to those living is the US. Currently, both Sergeant Barnes and I do not reside in America. So, your threats, _sir_ , are meaningless.”

 

“That is what I figured. Where is it you reside again?” He inquires inquisitively.

 

Despite the fire still burning in her veins, Ana calmly stands up, grabbing her full glass of wine. “If you’ll excuse me Mr. Secretary,” She dumps her wine on the grass, extremely close to his expensive loafers. “But I must freshen up my drink.”

 

Ana doesn’t wait or look back for his response. She’s seething, she can feel her fingers shaking from the underlying threat of trapping Bucky into something that, yet again, takes away his freedom to choose. No way in hell will Ana ever let that happen to him.

 

As she goes back inside the hall, she passes by the DJ booth, the audio flickers, the current song cutting in and out. Ana inhales through her nose, counts to ten before she finally makes it to the open bar inside the little cellar area. She slides her empty wine glass over the countertop, waiting patiently for the bartender to finish with another guest. Someone comes to stand next to her, their arm brushing against hers.

 

“Funny, the weather didn’t say there’d be storms with possible power surges today.”

 

Despite how mad she is, Ana smiles sheepishly up at Steve. “I thought I was getting better at handling it.”

 

“He must’ve said something to really piss you off,” He guesses, knocking his elbow into hers.

 

“You know,” Ana looks around the cellar then peers outside, “Bucky was supposed to be getting me a cupcake.”

 

“Ross talked about the Accords,” Steve states, his voice sounding a hint sad. “About Bucky.”

 

“No,” Ana snaps, grinding her teeth again. “He _threatened_ Bucky, is what he did.”

 

“Hence the lights popping.”

 

Wincing, she ignores that last comment as the bartended comes up to her. “Whiskey please, the strongest you have, on the rocks.”

 

“Ana,” Steve speaks quietly, “you know he can’t make him sign it, right?”

 

“Not according to Ross,” Ana smiles her thanks at the bartender as he slides her drink over. “He thinks he can offer a deal to Bucky; sign the Accords, Bucky’s record is cleared of everything. “ _He’ll have no choice but to sign_.””

 

She quickly takes a sip of her drink, but it’s not what burns in her mouth as she does so. Before Steve can say another word, an arm is wrapping around her waist from behind, and the comforting scent of Bucky fills her nose. Ana automatically finds herself relaxing against his touch, and when Bucky drops a kiss to her bare shoulder, the anger melts away from her spine. His calm energy seeps into her own, as if he felt that she needed him. She makes eye contact with Steve, and everything she needs to know, to be reassured that Bucky is safe from the Accords shines in Steve’s light blue eyes. She nods slightly.

 

“You alright, Annie Doll?” Bucky asks, concern coloring his low tone.

 

Spinning in his arms, Ana pecks a quick kiss on his neck. “I’m okay. Just wondering where my damn cupcake is, Winter Bunny.”

 

Bucky looks skeptical, his own deep blue eyes lifting to look over her shoulder. Ana knows he’s silently communicating with Steve. She feels his thumbs rubbing soothing circles into her hips. She appreciates his grounding touch, even if Bucky isn’t sure what exactly happened, but she knows that he knows she was upset. Ana places her glass back on the countertop and opts to rest her head against Bucky’s chest. The sound of his heartbeat as always been a comfort to her, reminds her that Bucky is right there with her.

 

“Barton’s daughter found me. Convince me to give her the last s’mores cupcake,” He explains, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry, darlin’.”

 

Ana chuckles before pulling back. “No worries. Dance with me?”

 

They dance for the majority of the evening, Bucky allowing Ana to be swept away by family members, Thor (to Bucky’s slightly displeasure) and Tony.

“Look at you, Stark,” Ana says proudly, lightly hitting his chest as he spins them around the room. “You’re a married man now.”

The smile Tony displays on his face is the most carefree and bright one Ana as ever seen from him. His dark eyes lift over her head, probably spotting Pepper dancing with someone else.

“I am,” He agrees quietly, “I still don’t why she decided to marry me. Just lucky I guess.”

“Yes you are, and so is she, and if I had to personally pick someone to marry her…”

“You’re kidding.”

Ana smiles genuinely. “I’m not, Tony. For so long she only had you,” She hold her hand up as he opens his mouth to disagree. “I know what you’re going to say, but I was away at college. Then when everything happened…I had Pepper, but who did she have to take care of her? You.”

“It was pretty rocky there for a while,” He reminds her, still a hint of self-deprecation in his eyes.

“Yeah, well, relationships aren’t perfect and that’s what makes them so great.” Ana counters, flicking his chin fondly.

He raises his eyebrows knowingly. “Speaking from experience, are we?”

Ana bites her lips, her eyes scanning the room for Bucky.

“You know, kid,” Tony begins lightly, “at the beginning there, he would be the last person I would’ve picked for you. Yeah, yeah, keep that glare to yourself, Rios. You were perfectly capable of picking your own soulmate, I’m well aware.”

Ana turns his flower on his lapel upside-down, earning a chuckle from Tony.  “Do you have a point?”

“If you let me get there,” He rolls his eyes. “But when I really started watching the two of you around each other, when I saw how attentive he was, how protective…I began thinking otherwise. I knew you both loved each other before either of you were aware, and now. You guys can’t even go days without one another.”

Ana chews her lip. It’s not the first time she’s heard someone say that. Despite knowing it’s absolutely true, and it feels like she’s missing a piece of herself when they’re separated, she also knows it can come across as bad. Too dependent according to some people. She begs to differ. It’s just different with them. She feels Bucky now, everywhere, as if his energy caresses her skin, whispers in her ear, hugs her, buries itself inside her heart. When he’s gone, it’s as if she forgot to wear her necklace, just a feeling of utter nakedness surrounding her.

“Now though,” Tony continues quietly after a long pause. “I honestly couldn’t pick someone better for you than Barnes.”

Ana stops dancing, her heart stuttering in her chest, because that sounds an awful like acceptance from him. “Tony?”

“Yeah. I approve, let’s not make a big thing out of it. It is _my_ wedding day afterall.” He says nonchalantly, waving his hand around. “Your eyes are turning red, are you crying?”

“No, I’ve just been looking at your unfortunate face for far too long.”

“Oh, good.”

Ana suddenly pulls him in for a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around his middle. “But if I were going to cry, it’s because your acceptance and approval means more to me than anyone else’s. Beside your wife’s.”

She feels him pat the top on her head before he returns the hug. “He’s lucky he has you in his life.”

“I think I’m the lucky one.”

A solid minute passes before Ana finally pulls away. “By the way, your favorite government official threatened us with The Accords. In case you were unaware.”

The happy, carefree expression on Tony’s face shifts. His jaw twitches and his eyes harden just a tad. He squeezes her hands. “Neither of you will be apart of that, I’ll make sure of it.”

Before Ana can thank him, she feels a comforting presence come up next to them. She doesn’t have to look to know it’s Bucky. When she does though, he is holding Pepper’s hand, offering her to Tony.

“I believe I’ve stolen a dance from your wife for too long, Stark,” Bucky quips, “I come offering a trade.”

“Thank God,” Tony replies jokingly, winking at Ana. “Take her away!”

Both men do a silly little show of trading Pepper’s and Ana’s hand. Both women roll their eyes.

*

Later, when Ana has her head resting on Bucky’s chest, legs tangles together in the sheets with the moon cascading through the window, Ana kisses over his heartbeat. Bucky’s fingers in her hair have slowed down, a sign that he’s drifting off to sleep, so she snuggles closer to him, content and sex exhausted.

“You were angry earlier, at the reception,” Bucky speaks, startling Ana from her slumber. “Was it because Secretary of State Ross threatened you with the Accords?”

Ana gently traces each define ab on his stomach, his muscles jumping slightly. “No,” She sighs. “It’s because he threatened _you_.”

“So, you got so mad, you nearly shattered every blub of light in the hall?”

“Did I?”

Bucky shifts until he’s staring down at her. “I love you, you feisty little dame.”

Ana laughs, kissing his jaw. “I love you too. It’s nothing to worry about though.”

“For us you mean.”

She doesn’t respond to that statement. “Buck, what were talking to Pepper and Tony about?”

The air abruptly changes around them. It doesn’t concern Ana, for it feels steady, calm, almost as if Bucky purposefully changed his own energy. He pecks his lips against her eyebrow.

“Just curious where they’re going for their honeymoon,” He answers simply. “And if your Titi Eileen knew that you were off the market because she kept trying to set you up with Thor.”

“You’re a liar, Winter Wonderland,” She cackles, tugging his hair. “And yes, she did, and she did not care. She’s also like, 96 so she doesn’t realize that her great niece can pick her own man. She honestly thought we were at Pepper’s birthday party.”

“Right, she told me _“Rosa shouldn’t be dating someone my age, Sir Sergeant Burns.””_

Ana nearly rolls off the bed in laughter. “I can’t…oh my god!”

Bucky pulls her away from the edge and back to his chest. “Its’s true. She also calls you Rosa.”

“She does, Sir Sergeant Burns.”

Bucky levels her with a flat look. “You start calling me that, and I’ll start calling you Rosa.”

“Rosa the goat will be very displeased by that, Sir Serge-“

Bucky attacks her with his mouth on hers. “I told her you were mine,” He grows against her lips.

Ana nods, curling her tongue over his top lip, getting him back from earlier in the day. “That, is not a lie.”

 

******************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smell that? It's the smell of the drabbles slowly catching up with the timeline..........................................


	10. Could Do Without a Tan on my Left Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

Excitement and affection runs through Ana’s entire body as she stares down at the ring on her left hand. She admires its simple beauty, holding up her hand as she beams at Bucky. He fondly shakes his head, rolling his eyes as she holds up her right hand as well. The identical dark blue ring sits on her right middle finger, opposite of her left.

“Ready?” Ana questions, attempting to tamper down her giddiness.

Bucky sees right through her. “You’re way too excited for this.”

“You offered. I asked T’Challa, but he said he already had this experience once and didn’t want to relive it.”

“Great.”

Ana blows him a kiss along with a wink. She twists her new, carefully made energy rings like Shuri instructed her to. Instantly, a thin layer of _something_ materializes over her entire body, shimmering lightly, and sitting close like a second layer of skin. Ana marvels at the sight, turning her hand and wiggling her fingers in front of her. The force field is barely noticeable, the shimmer only visible when it catches the light just so. No one would be able to catch on to it right away, unless they were looking for it.

Curious, Ana gently presses her fingertips of each hand together, closing her them like she’s praying. The force field just morphs over her hands, accommodating to the new connection. She releases an excited little noise at the sight. Already she can feel her energy levelling out, safely contained without any effort on her part. It almost feels like a weight as been lifted off her shoulders.

“Now you’re sure this is safe, right?” She checks with Shuri one last time.

Shuri nods, but her eyes are focused on something in her hand. She taps the bead, then a screen projects several inches above her palm. Ana spots a little red holographic dot on the screen.

“White Boy Wonder has nothing to worry about,” She assures, smirking at Ana. “Plus, he’d be quicker to bounce back anyhow. Just make sure you don’t add anything to the energy extraction. The first, automatic defense is draining the opponent’s energy without you having to do so immediately.”

“Are you recording this!?” Bucky suddenly questions, voice indignant. He points a menacing finger at her. “Do not show Steve.”

“It is for research purposes!”

From somewhere behind Ana, T’Challa snorts. He has been sitting further back, content to spectate from a distance. Ana bites back her laugh.

“I promise to make it up to you, Winter Bunny,” Ana tells him sweetly.

Bucky drops his finger, shooting her a playfully glare at the name. “I demand flan for dessert.”

In true adult fashion, Ana sticks her tongue out at him. She sees his face soften, the little crinkles by his eyes appearing. It’s his fond face he has for her, one he swears he doesn’t do. It’s on video now.

“Ready, darlin’?” Bucky checks in, shifting on his feet.

“Bring it, babe,” She responds lightly.

Bucky suddenly sprints at her, gave her no warning he was going to do so. Ana waits for the last second, then places her hands up, palms flat. The moment Bucky’s chest comes in contact with her hands, is the same moment there’s a flash of golden white light, and Bucky is now across the room. He’s groaning, flat on his back.

Ana’s eyes widen for a moment, staring at her shimmering hands before she carefully jogs to where he is. As she peers down at him, his eyes are closed, and he abruptly looks exhausted. She’d be worried, if it weren’t for the slightly furrow of his brows and the little tilt of his lips.

“Bucky? Are you okay? Was that too much? Are you hurt?” Ana can’t help but question. She twists her rings and the field fades away.

“Sleep,” Bucky mumbles, barely raising his hand off the ground to wave it.

“What?” She drops to her knees next to him. She places her hand on his forehead, causing his eyes to flutter open.

“M’fine, baby,” He sighs heavily. “Hell, is that what you do to people? I feel like plug was just pulled from inside me.”

“Sorry,” Ana mutters sheepishly.

She feels a little guilty now, almost insecure about her abilities. She has always used her Empathic Healing more than her Energy Alchemy on people. Bucky’s laying in front of her, eyes struggling to remain open is why. For a long while, she couldn’t remember how it felt to drain Eric Woods’ life energy, however Bucky is correct. It felt like she had found a plug and slowly began pulling until there was almost nothing left. If the rings do a small amount of draining for her, she wonders how much damage she can really do with full force.

“Hey, Annie Doll, I’m fine. Really,” Bucky reassure, slowly leaning up on his elbows.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have these,” She says quietly, moving to take the rings off.

Bucky stops her, taking hold of her hand with his left. “How are _you_ feeling? Any different in your levels?”

She shakes her head. “No, I feel completely fine.”

“Then it worked. I’m the first person to refuse it, but honestly, if it came to having you fight for something again, these protect you. Physically, but also from draining yourself as well.”

“If you say so. They are pretty cool.”

Chuckling, Bucky finally sits up, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and kissing her temple. “I feel fine, Ana. Just sleepy.”

“So,” Shuri’s cautious voice breaks them out of their little bubble. “Evaluation time?”

*

Ana listens to Shuri continue to talk about the rings, as Bucky is slumped forward, resting his head against her chest. His arms are loosely wrapped around her waist as he sits on one of the desks by the computer. She’s reminded of their time in the Lab back in New York, when Bucky would sit patiently, willing to listen to Ana’s words as she stood in front of him. She cards her fingers through his long, thick hair, now brushing the top of his shoulders.

Honestly, Ana loves the rings. She loves that Shuri took the time and consideration to make them, all with the goal to help regulate her powers while catering to Bucky’s primal want of keeping her safe. T’Challa brings the video up, and the four of them watch it once, for true research purposes. The next five times they watch it is for pure entertainment.

When Ana and Bucky arrive back at the hut, he immediately flops down on the little bed, pulling her along with him. He presses lazy kisses over every inch of her face, from the top of her head to her chin. It makes her giggle as his thickening beard tickles her skin, and she snuggles under his jaw, pressing her own kiss to his neck.

“I love your powers, Ana,” He whispers, drifting off to sleep. “Every single part of you.”

Ana thinks her heart will never stop fluttering at Bucky’s words.

*

A week passes by and Ana is so utterly confused. Bucky hasn’t been ignoring her per say, but he’s felt off. He’s been quieter, almost as reserved as he was when they first met. It causes a strange clenching feeling in her stomach.

“Bucky, you’re sure I didn’t-“She starts for the 100th time.

“No, Ana. Really, it’s not that,” Bucky cuts her off. He kisses her knuckles, but inhales deeply afterwards. Then he releases her hand quickly.

“Well, you’re acting funny. I don’t like it,” She grumbles, fiddling with her phone. “I’m going to call Pepper. We haven’t chatted in a while.”

She stands up from the couch, ignoring the movie on the TV. She’s stopped when her wrist is caught in his right hand. She glances over her shoulder, Bucky’s face impassive.

“I’m sorry, Annie,” He says, eyes flicking to hers. “I’ve just been feeling…off. Just thinking lately.”

“Is it the Accords again?”

Steve had called once again, informing Bucky of what was going on. Ana had overheard, and from the sounds of it, tension is rising and it’s not stopping. She’s worried it’s going to cause a major riff between her friends. She remembers Wanda expressing crushing guilt the last time they spoke on the phone; the young woman blaming herself for the entire reason the Accords exist in the first place.

Bucky frowns slightly, tilting his head. He blinks, and his face goes back to being stoic. “Yes.”

Ana sighs, twisting her hand until their fingers lace together. “Don’t let it worry you too much, okay? I’m sure they can come to some other agreement. I hope.”

He nods as Ana’s phone rings. She glances at the screen, as if Pepper had a feeling Ana needed to talk to her anyway. Her cousin is calling. She flashes Bucky a little smile, before pulling her hand away.

“Hey,” His voice stops her from walking out of the room. “I love you.”

Ana gives him a real smile, because the soft fondness is in his eyes again. “Love you, too.”

*

A warm breeze gently blows the stray hairs hanging around Ana’s face off her cheeks. She blinks at the sunset casting soft oranges and pinks over the lake. She has lived in Wakanda for ten months now, and to this day, she still can’t get over the beauty of it. This spot by the lake, just on the bank, had quickly became her favorite, and it’s not from how beautiful and peaceful it is. Mainly, it’s her favorite spot because this is where Bucky looks his best, where he took her that first time, and in all the time Ana had known him, she had never seen a more serene, accepting and free expression on his face than when he’s here. This is their spot.

They usually meet at this spot at the end of their days, whether Bucky works out in the field all day, or if Ana had spent her hours at the Lab. Without fail, they meet here. Without fail, Bucky greets her with the most delicate of kisses, still tantalizing to this day. She had wondered a few times when she first moved here, if the love Bucky has for her would fade, just fizzle off like a flame coming to its end. It hasn’t, and she felt guilty for even thinking it, mainly because her love for him will never fade. Ever. They seemed share this little seed of doubt with each other, under the cover of night, and it always ended with heart felt confessions and reminders that their love for each other will never end. It’s stronger than ever.

It’s been eight months since those delicate nights and confessions. Not once has it been thought of again, because they both know, no matter what they go through, their love is solid, and real. Even with the strange way Bucky has been acting. Ana glances away from the horizon to look over at him.

Bucky isn’t looking at the sunset like Ana was expecting him too. Instead, he’s staring at her, a softness coloring his blue eyes, and a gentle smile tugging at his lips. His hair is a little messy, stray strands falling out from the bun Ana had put it in this morning. He looks a little tired, as he always does when he works on the farm, and there’s a little piece of hay stuck by his ear, as if he was rolling around the grass again with the children and his goats.

Ana carefully reaches up, pulling the hay from his hair, and tossing it aside. Bucky’s smile grows, his eyes crinkling a little at the corners, and deep blue glittering in the setting sunlight. Every time Bucky stares at her this way, her heart surges in warmth and her stomach flutters; each and every time.

“What?” Ana murmurs, keeping the small chuckle bubbling up her throat at bay.

Bucky minutely shakes his head. “You’re just so beautiful. I’m sorry I’ve been strange lately.”

Ana bites her lip, because Bucky is always so soft in their spot. “Bucky…it’s okay.”

He shifts closer, lifting his hands to gently trace along her jaw. “I have something to ask you.”

Quirking a curious, Ana questions, “What is that?”

He leans in, his lips grazing over hers. “Did you bring the Nutella?”

Ana cackles, throwing her head back. Bucky follows suit, taking the basket from her hands. He opens the tops, rummaging through it, before he pulls out the jar with a triumphant expression.

“How many times have we had dinner here, and you’re still asking me that silly question?”

Bucky shrugs, a shit eating grin on his face now. He quickly kisses her nose. Rolling her eyes fondly, Ana goes to grab the jar back when one of the goat bleats. She turns in the direction, making sure they’re okay. Apparently one of the older goats chased away a younger one from its spot on the hay bail.

She turns to see if Bucky had noticed the funny exchange, but he’s no longer standing. Ana drops her eyes, only to see him kneeling. He’s not looking at her, instead his head is pointed down, his hands searching for something in the soft sand and grass on the bank of the lake.

“What are you doing?” She questions, confused.

Bucky halts his movements for a moment. He sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. He doesn’t answer her, just goes back to running his fingers through the ground. The goat bleats again. Ana whirls around and laughs, the younger goat has now taken over the pile of hay.

“Are you seeing this? That little one is a-”Ana’s words fade out in her throat when she turns back.

Whatever he was looking for, Bucky found. Because he’s kneeling properly now, a nervous glint in his eyes that matches the timid smile on his lips. He’s holding his right hand under his chin, fist clenched tight. He takes a deep breath, then slowly hold his hand out in the air.

“What are you doing?” Ana breathes, her heartbeat rapidly speeding up.

Bucky shifts his fingers. Suddenly, he’s holding a ring between his thumb and forefinger. All air leaves Ana’s lung. The ring he is holding glitters against the setting sun. It glitters because it’s a golden ring. It glitters because it’s a diamond, golden ring. A [ring](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/c5/ea/21/c5ea2111b819bc24ddb7d68e46684feb.jpg) with one, rather decent size, oval diamond in the middle, framed by a cluster of smaller diamonds on each side.

“I,” Bucky begins, his voice cracking. He clears his throat. “I-I’m trying…”

Ana is sure the world has stopped spinning around her. Her heart is racing, her blood warming throughout her veins. She can’t be sure, but she thinks her mouth is hanging open a little, and her eyes are wide. She feels frozen.

“Ana,” Bucky speaks firmly, but quiet. His voice shakes with nerves.

Ana places her hand over her heart.

“The first time I saw you I knew you were something different, something special. That day you put your hand on my chest and told me to feel. That day all I felt was you. All I feel _is_ you, and all I’m ever going to feel is you. My life…my life has been filled with darkness, but you have become the brightest light in my world since I met you. There were days where I didn’t see the point…I was just surviving. But now, I know my life has been worth living because you are in it. And I- I would really love to spend the rest of my days with you. So, AnaRosa Rios. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Bucky spoke slowly, clearly, so every word he said was eloquent, deliberate. Ana heard every single word he spoke. She swears her heart had stopped beating, only to jumpstart again at his nervous question.

The beautiful man in front of her in on his knee, holding a beautiful [ring](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/bf/87/b9/bf87b9b6d7bcecba22d0a8f44c4e5ef2.jpg) up in front of her. His beautiful blue eyes are swimming with emotion, too fast for her to decipher. This man, her beautiful Bucky, is asking her to marry him. Tears sting her eyes that have been staring open for far too long. Ana blinks.

Slowly, Ana falls to her knees, now on the same level as him. She feels her lips spread into a slow, gentle smile as she cups both of his cheeks with her hands. She can feel him trembling, can see his own tears building up in his incredible blue eyes. She feels her own tear stray and run down her cheek.

“James Buchanan Barnes,” Ana says softly, but with all the conviction she has. “ _Of course_ , I’ll marry you.”

 Bucky blinks, inhaling deeply before exhaling shakily. “You will?”

He asks as if he can’t believe her words. Ana nods, a noise escaping her mouth; a strange mix of a laugh and a sob.

“Yes. Yes, Bucky, God yes.”

Then Ana pulls him in for a kiss. It’s breathless, and wet because her tears have fallen, and they’re both releasing little huffs of laughter. The kiss is no longer a proper one, just their smiles and teeth pressed against each other’s. She runs her fingers through his hair, then traces along his jaw, swipes her thumbs under his eyes, wiping away his tears.

They stay like that for several long moments, Ana holding Bucky’s face, with Bucky’s left arm hugging around her waist. He pulls back slightly, enough for him to slip his arm away from her hips to hold her left hand. He goes to slip the ring on, but he fumbles, and drops it.

“Damnit,” He chuckles, dropping his forehead to her shoulder. “That’s the second time.”

“Did you…is that what you were looking for earlier?” Ana laughs, petting the back of his head.

“Yes,” He grumbles, finding the ring and picking it up. He wipes it on his shirt. “I was so goddamn nervous.”

He gets it on the second try, gently slipping the ring on her forth finger of her left hand. It looks beautiful. It looks like it belongs there. It looks like Bucky carefully picked it out. Ana holds her hand up, her heart swelling too large to fit in her chest.

The ring is so simple, utterly delicate and stunning. It’s not over the top, or clustered with gems. As she continues to gaze at it, she thinks it symbolizes both of them. She loves it. She locks eyes with Bucky. She loves him. She feels him, and every single emotion radiating off him. Realization dawns on her.

“Bucky,” She places her newly jeweled hand on his cheek. “Is this why you were acting so…”

“Standoffish?” He finishes for her. He frowns, a guilty look washing over his face. “Yeah, I’m so sorry, baby. I just didn’t want you to catch on.”

“Well, good job. I had no idea,” She laughs honestly. She glances at the ring again. “I love it. I love you.”

Bucky pulls her in, pressing a sweet, tender kiss to her lips. “I love you so much, Annie.”

The youngest goat bleats again. They break out of their kiss, laughing loudly.

“I love you too!” Bucky shouts towards the goat.

Ana nearly falls over laughing.

**

They had finished their dinner by the lake, with goofy smiles, and little touches. After they were done, Bucky had grabbed her left hand, thumbing over the ring. One look at each other, and they were rushing back to the apartment instead of spending the night at the hut.

The baskets and its contains, plates and napkin and crumbles, were scattered across the floor. Their clothes decorated the counter, the couch, even the TV. The wall had suffered a small dent from where Bucky had slammed into it, all due to Ana’s ministrations. The table cloth had been ripped off the surface when Ana had bumped into it, gripping onto the nearest thing as Bucky sent waves of pleasure throughout her body.

Neither of them had been holding back. The lights had flickered on and off, the atmosphere of the room had thickened, heavy with unabashed emotion both of them were releasing into the air. Bucky had pressed her to the wall, to the chair sitting in the corner, to their bed. Ana had dug her nails into his skin, had pulled his hair to bring him closer. They both pressed each other into the mattress, taking turns as they kissed, bit, licked and made love to each other for the rest of the night. Their hands laced together, with the new sensation of the engagement ring against their skin.

The sun was now rising, soft hues of blues breaking through the curtains. Their legs are tangled together, their bodies pressed closer, skin damp with sweat, the air smelling of sex. They continue to press little loving kisses to each other on every and any place they can reach. Finally, Bucky takes Ana’s left hand once more, pressing his lips over her ring finger.

“I’d never thought I would come close to having this,” He confesses between them, voice barely a whisper. His eyes remain locked on hers.

Ana doesn’t need to have empathic powers to knows how much love he has for her. It’s shinning in his eyes like stars. She blinks back tears; the whole night has been an emotional ride. She brushes his damp hair away from his face.

“I never knew I could feel this much love,” She tells him, keeping her voice soft. “You are my heart and soul, Bucky.”

He moves her hand over his chest, his heart fluttering beneath her palm. “I feel you. Always.”

Ana knows she’s blushing, and it’s not from their night of passionate lovemaking. She presses a tender kiss to his chin.

“I love you,” She breathes, shifting as Bucky does the same. They end up resting against the headboard, Ana’s back against his chest. She holds her hand out. “I fucking love this ring, too.”

Bucky laughs, kissing her temple. “I’m glad. I was so nervous picking it out. I thought it fit you perfectly. I’m grateful for the help.”

“What help?”

“Uh…”

Ana turns her head up to look at him. “Who helped you?”

“Pepper. Wanda…Nat.”

Her mouth drops. “They knew?”

“Pepper knew. Wan and Nat…they were sending me pictures a while ago, thinking they could tease me and such. They have no idea how long I’ve been planning on asking you.”

“How long?” Ana can’t help but smile giddily at the idea.

“Since you moved here,” Bucky shrugs casually. His blushing cheeks betray him. “I was considering it. Then you had the surgery, then the wedding planning started, and I knew I wanted to ask you. I thought, maybe I should wait until after the wedding. But I didn’t want to ask without getting blessings first.”

“Blessings? Oh, my God. You asked permission to marry me? From Pepper?”

Bucky’s eyes shift, a slow smile spreading across his mouth. “And Tony.”

Ana sits up, twisting to fully look at him. “You…Bucky. You asked Tony’s permission to marry me?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

Tears well up in her eyes again. “At their wedding…”

“That’s why I was so nervous.”

“I thought it was because there were so many people.”

“Nah. It was because I was asking the man who used to hate every fiber of my being to marry someone who is extremely important to him. Like family.”

“We’re all family,” Ana reminds him, fondly thinking of everyone at the compound.

“Yes, doll” Bucky pokes at her nose. She tugs his hair. “But you’re like his sister…daughter?”

Ana makes a noise. “He’s…only 18 years older than me.”

“Not the point, darlin’. I asked him, them, nervous as all hell. He said “yes, about damn time.” Pepper smacked him but agreed,” Bucky laughs. “It was that same trip where I picked out the ring. Pepper and I snuck out before they left for their honeymoon. Uh, Stark gave me money.”

“He what!?” Ana gasps in shock.

“He said I was long over due being paid for that mission a while ago. He gave me cash as payment, told me to spend it how I please. That it was my money because I earned it.”

“Holy shit. Wait, I didn’t get paid for that. Rude.”

He chuckles at her pout, thumbing at her bottom lip. “I’m trying to say that I paid for it myself, and not-“

“Hey, sweetheart,” Ana stops him with a smile. “I’m not concerned about that, babe, it’s alright.” She holds up her hand again, “Although…this is what? Just under a carat? Jesus.”

“It’s .75.”

“Bucky…holy shit.”

“It’s a moissanite, Ana. Or, the main stone is. I remembered your rant about diamonds.”

Ana laughs, falling back against his chest. “You’re amazing. Are the smaller ones diamonds then?”

“Yes, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Bucky, I love you,” She tells him, turning her face again. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

The smile on Bucky’s face makes his eyes crinkle and his nose scrunch up. It makes her heart swell.

“I can’t wait for you to be my wife, Ana. I love you so much.”

They share a sweet kiss, before Ana breaks away.

“M’Baku is going to be so heartbroken.”

Bucky tackles her to the mattress. “Too damn bad,” He growls.

He spends the rest of the morning making Ana everything but her fiancé.

**********************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! Things are starting to pick up now...
> 
> Chapter's title is from the Ed Sheeran song "Wake Me Up" ("I could do without a tan on my left hand where my forth finger meets my knuckle")


	11. I'm Deep Blue, but You Painted Me Golden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mild anxiety, self-doubt (because Bucky is a precious little bean who deserves all the love)

It’s been several weeks of celebrations. After they broke the news of their engagement, T’Challa insisted on have a celebratory fest, much to Bucky’s amusement and Ana’s polite refusal. She claimed it wasn’t necessary as they weren’t royal, nor of Wakandan nationality. She didn’t want to impose on anything, that was, until T’Challa’s mother dragged Ana away and demanded she help pick out dishes to serve. It left Bucky to deal with M’Baku, who was glaring daggers in his direction. For a split moment, he couldn’t figure out if M’Baku was joking or not.

Tony demanded they fly back to New York to celebrate there, and if they refused, the team would just fly there. Every single one of them. So, they flew to New York and had a party, and a dinner. Bucky had been over the moon since Ana said yes, but his timid excitement around them was dimmed by the tension he read in the compound when they got there.

Ana, for some reason that he still couldn’t figure out, didn’t seem to notice it. Nor the giant elephant in the room. Maybe she was too distracted by the girls dragging her away to talk about wedding plans of all types. Bucky had been grateful for it though, not sure how the Accords situation would go over with her. If, and when she finds out that her friends, her family, is slowly being torn apart because of it, it will break Ana’s heart.

Maybe, to this exact moment, it’s why Ana can’t feel what’s happening next to her right now. Maybe she’s been distracted, utterly and blissfully happy, unaware of what Bucky is feeling. It’s a miracle Ana can’t feel it radiating off his skin as they lay tangled up together on the couch.

There’s a movie playing on the TV, one from the late fifties that stars one of Ana’s favorite actresses of all time. However, Bucky stopped paying attention a while ago. Maybe she’s too engrossed by the movie. Or maybe she’s taking too much pleasure in spouting facts about the movie and actress to notice.

Bucky is internally, mildly, giving himself an anxiety attack. He doesn’t recall how it started; one second he was rubbing his thumb over the engagement ring sitting prettily on Ana’s finger, the next, he started doubting himself.

What if he fucks everything up? What if he’s not a good husband to his wife? What if he can’t provide for Ana the way he needs to? What if he can’t satisfy her needs in every and any way possible? What if- _oh God_. What if Shuri removing the trigger words really didn’t work, and a Hydra agent has been hiding just behind their hut, or their apartment, biding their time. Waiting, and waiting. What if they trigger him and he…

Bucky was a monster. He has been a monster for decades, and a red ledger just doesn’t get erased because people pull strings. Fuck, what if everyone was wrong about him? What if Steve truly believes he is a monster? What if Pepper lied and truly doesn’t think he’s a good man? What if Tony takes back his approval, thinks Ana deserves someone better. Someone who wasn’t an assassin for the enemy for seventy years?

Gentle, soft fingers trace the lines of his right palm, a slow trickling beginning to seep into his veins. It feels warm, comforting, like the embers of a low crackling fire heating the skin.

“Bucky.”

Her voice is nothing but a soft coo, a calm breeze settling the chaos in his mind. Bucky blinks, tilting his head down to meet her curious, concerned gaze. Golden specks seem to glitter in the dim lighting of the room, and he counts nine of them to ground himself back to Ana.

“What’s the matter?” She questions, shifting to see his face better.

Bucky swallows. She’s so beautiful, so worried. How can he voice his thoughts to her. How can he handle the rejection, when he asks the question that abruptly sit on the tip of his tongue? And this, this is where all his thoughts are coming from, because he let a seed of doubt flash through him.

Ana’s fingers press lightly against his face. “You clench your jaw when you’re anxious about something. What is it?”

She knows him too well. Maybe she knows he won’t be what she needs. He shakes his head, trying to rid the negativity. He inhales deeply, a shaky delicate noise and opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. He frowns, thinking about how to ask, how to brace himself for possible heartbreak.

Fuck. What if everything he just thought of was wrong? What if she denies it all, but then takes everything as in insult? What if Ana thinks Bucky doesn’t believe in her, what if she thinks his doubt is for her? Jesus Christ, his mind is a fucking civil war.

He shakes his head, breaking eye contact because he can’t look at her.

“It’s nothing, Ana,” He finally answers, giving her a half-hearted smile. “It’s stupid, nothing to worry about.”

“Your anxiety is never stupid, Bucky,” She tells him firmly. “Talk to me, sweetheart, what’s going on in that pretty little head?”

He still isn’t looking at her, instead staring at the ring on her finger. “I just,” He takes another breath to steady the tremor in his voice. “Are…are you sure you want to marry someone like me?”

He can’t see her reaction. He can hardly stand holding her so close. Surely, she can feel his pounding heart and sweaty skin. He doesn’t see her reaction, but he can feel it. Ana shifts, propping herself up on her elbows. Her body tenses up and she takes in a sharp breath, holds it for some reason, then quietly releases it. Then, he feels her fingers again, hooking under his chin, lifting his head. He keeps his eyes down though, staring at her collarbones.

“Bucky, look at me, please,” Her request is gentle, no sign of anger in her words.

He shakes his head, now suddenly feeling utterly embarrassed. Her thumb presses into the dimple on his chin, hiding behind his beard.

“James.”

Bucky inhales. Ana rarely calls him by his first name, only uses it when she wants to get a point across. It’s enough to finally make him look at her. What he sees, is something he should have expected this whole time.

Ana’s brown eyes are so warm, like whiskey soothing the soul. The corners of her eyes and mouth are soft, matching the fond smile painted on her lips. Bucky’s heart stutters for a different reason this time. How did he become this lucky to have this beautiful expression, from this beautiful woman, given to someone like him?

“I love you,” Ana says with conviction, her eyes searching his intently. “With every fiber of my being.”

She pauses, and Bucky braces himself.

“But,” She continues slowly, “I’m not sure words are what you need right now.”

“What do you mean?” He questions, utterly bemused.

“You trust me?”

“Of course, I do. I’ve always trusted you, Ana.”

Her smile widens as she nods. Then she’s pushing herself up until she’s sitting. Bucky follows suit when she holds her hand out. Once he’s in the same position, Ana moves, throwing her leg over his lap and straddling his thighs. She places her hands on either side of his face.

“Close your eyes, Bucky,” She whispers, her nose brushing against his. “Just feel.”

Bucky counts the gold dots once more, then lets his eyes fall shut. He places his hand against her chest, like Ana did to him so many months ago. He feels her steady heartbeat, feels her warm smooth skin. Feels her gently place her forehead against his. He hears her inhaling slowly, steadily. Then, as she exhales, cool breath fanning across his lips, he feels it.

He can’t entirely explain it, but he abruptly feels a burst of tingling energy radiating from his core, from his _soul_. It’s like the sun is burning directly on him, but it’s not searing his skin, it’s caressing him. It wraps solar flares around his heart and it takes a moment for him to realize that it’s spreading throughout his entire body. He feels the source from beneath his palm, and with a belated revelation, Bucky knows it is coming from Ana’s heart.

The energy transfers between them, connecting them, and it’s entirely different from the first time Ana release her full empathetic powers on him to convey her love. It’s the same thing she’s doing now, only more powerful. More powerful than Bucky has ever felt from her; it’s vibrating down to his bones. It’s the tidal wave of emotions that comes next that steals his breath away.

It’s like an euphoric rapture of love; admiration. Every inch of his body, down to the very last minuscule cell is filled with affection, trust, comfort, vulnerability, strength. It’s nothing but how Ana feels for him, how she has been feeling for so long. It’s overwhelming. Almost too overwhelming for him. He feels the prickle of teas behind his eyelids because of it.

Bucky’s self-doubting, anxious mind is wrapped in a warm embrace. As if the sparks of energy chased away all the shadows of his mind; what was once broken, now pieced back together with gold lining. He can’t take it anymore, this indescribable feeling making his body light, his blood warm. He has too look at her. He has to look at the woman he loves, just as much as she loves him.

He opens his eyes, immediately catching Ana’s. If he still had air in his lung it would be taken away a second time. Ana’s eyes are shimmering gold, the rich brown no where to be seen. Her skin is glowing, like it did when she fully unleashed her powers; only this time she isn’t taking a life force. She’s giving love.

Ana looks ethereal. As if she is an angel sent from above, proof that Bucky does deserve her. That he is worthy to be her husband. That any lingering seed of doubt, of fear, is something that is valid, but also something he no longer needs to worry about.

Because he can feel Ana’s soul now.

Bucky blinks, dazed and enchanted. His mind dizzy, but his heart full and serene. He slowly, as if it’s a dream, lifts his hand from her chest, cupping her jaw. He notices his own skin is glowing just like hers, vaguely wondering what that means. Then Ana blinks, and the gold in her eyes is gone, replaced once again by chestnut irises.

Ana inhales a shuddering breath, and just like that, the intense feelings slowly fade away. Bucky is left reeling, suddenly unsure if he’s dreaming or not. He swipes his thumb back and forth across her cheek, concentrating on the warmth of her skin.

“Breathe, James,” Ana murmurs. His name falling from her lips makes his soul shudder in delight. “Just breathe.”

He follows her instructions, copying her own breathing until they both match up. He doesn’t know how long they stay like this, Ana in his lap, pressed close to him, holding his face. Bucky’s hand never leaving her jaw, never stopping the movement of his thumb. He feels her pulse fluttering against his pinkie finger, using it to ground himself back to his fiancé.

“Bucky,” Ana speaks up, breaking the long but comfortable silence. “You felt all of that.”

It’s not a question, however Bucky nods his affirmation.

“That was all of me, desperately wanting to marry a man like you. I am in love with every single part of your heart and soul, and I can not wait to spend the rest of my life as your wife. Mrs. James Buchanan Barnes.”

A puff of laughter escaped his lips. Bucky is staring at her, one hundred percent sure there’s a ridiculous smile on his face. He drops his arm to her shoulders, pulling her flush against his chest. He buries his face in her hair, inhaling her familiar scent and basking in everything that makes Ana who she is. And who she is, is who loves him, and that’s…that is everything to him.

“I love you,” Bucky whispers into her ear. It sounds lame after everything Ana just did and said, but sometimes, three simple words it just enough as well.

“And I love you, even when you doubt yourself.”

“Not anymore,” He breathes into her hair. He presses a light kiss against her temple before pulling back. “What in the hell was that, you beautiful being?”

Ana actually giggles. Bucky can relate, he feels giddy too.

“I, uh- it’s called, well,” She stumbles shyly, pushing her hair back for a moment. “I came across something in a book I was reading. Then I brought it up to Shuri and she said she had been thinking about it ever since I got here. I think our energies have been intertwined for a while, Bucky. I’ve performed more Energy Alchemy on you than anyone else. We’ve been, well, connected- for lack of a better word. Each session was strong, intimate. Then we did the healing session, and by then we were already insanely in love-“

Bucky smiles at her, interrupting her words with a quick kiss to her mouth. Ana smiles back when they break apart.

“Anyway, it just grew stronger, and I felt,” Ana pauses, suddenly looking nervous. “I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, but when you left to come here, to heal. I broke. Well, those are Tony’s words. But it felt like I was missing a giant piece of my soul that you took with you. Like I was missing half of me for ten long months. I think…I never used to believe in them, and I’m not sure if-“

She takes another breath, staring straight into his eyes. He remains silence, allowing her to work through what she is clearly struggling to confess. As if Bucky would reprimand her for anything like that.

“I think we could be soul mates,” Ana reveals. She bites her lip briefly.

Bucky’s heart flutters in his chest. It’s not something he’s never thought of before. Sure, he was in cryostasis for the majority of those said ten months, but that didn’t mean he  didn’t feel utterly alone in his dreams. Even now, every time when Ana has had to go back to America without him, he feel the same; half of him is missing.

“So,” He begins slowly, weighing her words. “Are you saying, you connected our souls?”

“Well, by making you feel how I felt just now. Essentially? I connected out energies. Officially.” Ana laughs, “lets be honest, though. Like we weren’t already?”

“You’re fucking incredible,” Bucky laughs, elated.

Then he grabs her by the back of her neck, pulling her down for a passionate kiss. It’s like everything that was crushing him just fifteen minutes ago didn’t even happen. His mood has lifted, all thanks to Ana, and isn’t that something she has been doing since they met. He has absolutely no doubt about himself now.

“I’m sorry, Annie Doll,” He apologizes after they pull back. “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you, me. Us?”

The soft fondness is laced within the fibers of her eyes once more. “There’s no need to apologize, Snowflake. It’s completely normal to be anxious and doubtful when it comes to marrying someone. But please know, everything you just felt, Bucky. That’s all me, and I can’t fucking wait to marry you. To be your wife.”

“Spouse,” Bucky chirps suddenly. “I’ve always been fond of that word, spouse.”

Ana rolls her eyes goodheartedly. “I can’t wait to be your spouse, and for you to be my spouse. Okay, Snowflake Spouse?”

“Yes,” Bucky says with firm conviction. He smiles brightly at her. “I can’t wait for you to be Mrs. Winter Snowflake.”

He winks at her, and Ana takes his face in her hands and kisses him breathless.

 

*******************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while to post this one! I did, however, feel that this is important int heir relationship ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. The One With the Feelings

The past several months has been a mixture of calm, lazy days, and frantic, sad ones. The frantic one comes with Ana nearly pulling her hair out because wedding planning is a dumb feat. Why can’t she just have a simple one, a small one with just a handful of important people in their lives as they exchange vows.

“We really appreciate it, Tony, honestly,” Ana sighs on day while on the phone. “But we don’t need a venue that…extravagant. We just want to it keep it rather simple.”

Tony finally relents but insists that he pay for the entire wedding. Ana playfully argues with him, having come to an agreement that she at least pay for the deposit on a place. However, their conversation sends Ana into an emotion filled fit at one point, because a glaring fact just hit her in the face.

The lights in their apartment begin to flicker, and things begin to shake, trembling along with Ana’s own hands. She doesn’t try to rein it in, but she ends up grabbing the box the energy rings are in and quickly shoves them on. She twists them, and immediately, the lights steady.

She ends up taking a walk, coming to a stop by the lake. She finds rocks and begins chucking them are far and as hard as hard as she can. They land in the water with a satisfying splash, and she makes a game out of it; how far can she out throw the others.

Ana doesn’t know how long she stands there, tossing rocks as her heart clenches with stinging, longing sadness. It’s not like she completely forgot about it, the thought being a forefront in her mind since Bucky asked her to marry him. But now, now she has to acknowledge it aloud.

“I knew we should’ve set up a punching bag in the living room,” Bucky’s voice comes from behind her, carrying in the wind.

Ana drops the rock in her hand. She can feel Bucky coming closer, as if he’s reaching out his hand to comfort her.

“Don’t,” She warns, “I have the rings on.”

When Bucky is next to her, he picks up the rock she dropped. He pulls his arm back, then throws it as hard as he can. It takes a while for them to hear a faint splash. Ana glares out over the lake. Damn super strength.

“Annie,” He whispers. A gentle sound that reassures her that she isn’t alone.

She twists the rings off. “It’s not that I forgot or anything,” She begins, gasping in a breath. “But all this planning, all this happiness, it just makes the fact glaringly obvious.”

Bucky brushes her hair off her shoulder, tenderly swiping his thumb across her collarbone. It breaks her. She nearly collapses against his chest, pressing her face in his shirt, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. She cries. She sobs as he holds her just as tight.

“I just wish,” She heaves, “I- I wish they were here, Bucky. All of them. I-I…who…I can’t-“

Soothing coos sounds from above her, Bucky trying his best to calm her breathing. She feels him press his lips to the top of her head, and she tries to listen to the musical beating of his heart.

“I’m suppose to plan this with my mother. I’m supposed to be excited with my brother, ask him to be a man of honor. I-I’m supposed to have my father walk me down the aisle. But-…but…”

Her body shakes with more sobs. “I can’t-can’t share any-any of it w-with them.” Abruptly she pulls away, hastily wiping her tears away. Bucky looks baffled for a moment, before his eyes soften.

“Ana-“

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I, sorry. This is happy, I should be happy and excited, and I am because I get to marry you. Fuck, babe, I’m sorry about this, I-“

“Hey, sweetheart,” Bucky cups the sides of her jaws. “Don’t do that, don’t hide your sadness behind that wall. It’s okay, baby. You don’t need to apologize for anything. Just cry it out, be sad, it’s alright to miss them like this.”

Ana falls against his chest once more. She allows herself to cry, to release all the emotions of missing her family for this important even in her life to come out. Bucky stands here with her for god knows how long, rubbing his fingers up and down her spine. Softly humming familiar tunes under his breath and dropping random kisses along her head.

Later, once they’re back in their apartment, cuddling up on the couch with her head in Bucky’s lap, she lets his own feelings wash over her. Bucky is remitting comfort, love, support. His calm relaxed breathing lulls her into a daze, so she pulls his left hand from her hair and kisses each knuckle. She feels a little better now, being able to release everything.

“They would love you,” She tells him quietly, shifting so she’s looking up at him.

Bucky pulls his gaze away from the TV, smiling softly down at her. “As I would love them, too.”

“Bucky,” Ana breathes out, now kissing his palm. “I’m going to ask Tony if he would walk me down the aisle.”

“I think he’d take that as the highest, honor, Darling.”

They fall silent for a while. Ana ends up laughing eventually as they watch a program. Almost two hours pass before someone speaks again, and when they do, it’s with a nervous touch.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you something, Ana,” Bucky starts, shifting so Ana can sit up. “Do you…would you want to keep your last name? I will accept yours like your father did with your mother.”

If Ana wasn’t already engaged, she’d asked Bucky to marry her. She places her hand over her heart, simply because she’s so incredibly touched and a whole different wave of emotions curls through her.

“I love you.” She states simply, leaning to press a kiss to his cheek. “I really am so touched you would even ask that, Bucky. You’re wonderful. But, I’m really looking forward to taking your own name, if that’s alright. We can start our own family.”

Bucky’s breath hitches. “Our own family, as in…with me?”

“Nah, I was thinking of finding M’Baku and-“ Ana breaks out, laughing brightly. “Of course, with you, silly! We can talk about that later, although the way you’re turning white tells me diff-“

“No! No!” Bucky says frantically, grabbing her face and kisses her sloppily. “Yes, I mean. We can start our own family.”

Ana scrunches her nose and tugs his hair as she wipes off the wet kiss from the corner of her mouth. “Besides,” She continues, going back to the name change. “I think Annie Barnes has a nice ring to it.”

When Bucky pulls her in again, it’s softer, gentler. “If we didn’t agree to that whole abstinence thing for the wedding, I’d start making a family right now.”

“That’s a stupid arrangement, let’s go!”

Ana straddles him on the couch as he laughs brightly into her mouth.

 

*

The whole ‘no sex before a wedding’ agreement took affect the month before. Considering they wanted it to be more special the night of, however Bucky thought it was going to be much more difficult than it is. Some days it was, others it wasn’t. Like the four days when Ana was sick with a nasty cold, and it was filled with Bucky making her soup and bringing her back medicine from the Healers and wrapping her up in fuzzy blankets.

It was hard when Ana found that black dress Bucky had mentioned that got him hot and bothered. She put it on, like the little minx she is, claiming she would wear it for the rehearsal dinner. Bucky almost broke, but then Ana’s phone rang, and she chatted on the phone with Wanda for two hours.

Then they flew to New York, checking out a venue that Ana insisted they have. It’s the same place her parents got married, and Pepper was able to pull some strings, setting the date for their wedding along with it. Ana didn’t full on cry later that night, but she did shed some tears and all she wanted to do was snuggle up next to him.

The plans were falling together, and Bucky was becoming more nervous with each passing day. He was going to marry the love of his life, his girl he had given his heart too. On some nights, he would sneak away from her, leave her a note, and meet Steve outside of Tony’s place they were staying in.

He thought it strange they weren’t staying in the compound like last time, until Steve told him why. So, maybe that’s why Bucky is feel extra frustrated at this very moment, just days before their wedding. Steve had convinced him to go over to Sam’s new apartment in the city, so they could talk about it.

Bucky forces a slow, but hard breath through his nose, trying not to knock his fist up side anyone’s head. He keeps his arms crossed tightly across his chest, closing his eyes to block out the tense faces around him. He thinks, considers, the options they have in front of them, then quickly comes up with a solution. One he does not like.

“So,” He speaks up, breaking the long silence, heavy with tension. “Ana has absolutely no idea this has been going on? For the past three months. She has no idea that you’re all at each other’s throats because no one can agree on those goddamn Accords. Ana has no inkling of the Avengers, the people she considers family, are falling apart, and if said Avenger members refuse to sign, they will be considered criminals? Is that correct?”

Christ, he thought when they all fought before in Germany nearly two years ago that _that_ was a shit show. Somehow this feels worse. Somehow, this is worse.

“We get it, Barnes,” Natasha snips from her place on the couch, but there’s a teasing twitch to her mouth. “We haven’t told her, when we should have.”

“Which is why,” Tony cuts in sharply, “we are considering telling her now.”

Bucky drops his arms in favor of pinching the bridge of his nose. “You want to tell her two days before our wedding?”

Sam snorts as a collective response. He gets it.

“What other choice do we have?” Steve questions, sounding defeated. Regretful.

Bucky eyes his friend. There’s a subtle twitch of his jaw, grinding his teeth. It’s always been a sign of Steve’s anger being held at bay. His eyes are hard, determined not to back down from his decision, from what he thinks is the right thing.

“You don’t tell Ana.” Bucky states firmly. “That’s what you’re all going to do, because none of you will add any stress to her. She’s happy, she’s excited, she’s…well. She has been extremely calm about the wedding for the past two weeks. You will not inform her of any of this, the Accords, the dumbass riff between you all, because then that’s all she will focus on.”

He shakes his head in frustration, wishing they hadn’t told him either. “She’ll want to fix everything, and as much as it sucks to hear, that is not her burden.”

“We know, Buck,” Steve assures quietly.

“Then we just don’t tell her at all?” Clint asks, his elbow resting on Natasha’s shoulders. “That doesn’t seem like a wise choice either.”

“Oh, you’ll tell her, because the longer she doesn’t know, the angrier she’ll be,” Bucky counters. “But after the wedding.” He pauses, considering something. He smirks. “Well, maybe an extra day after.”

Tony visibly blanches, rolling his eyes. “Great plan, genius. Good thing Ana won’t be able to feel the tension here. She’ll know something is up instantly.”

Shrugging, Bucky says, “Then rein it in. Can’t you all just ignore this shit for the sake of, not even for me, but for Ana? She just wants to be happy and celebrate with the people she loves. We both do. There’s going to be some repercussions of hiding it, but I’m asking you all as a favor. Please.”

Wanda, who has been standing quietly by the large window of the living room, finally speaks up. “Of course, Bucky. We just want to see you both happy. You both deserve it.”

The softness of her tone makes Bucky walk over to her. While he was living in the compound with them during the Sessions, he had grown quiet a soft spot for the young woman. He wraps his left arm around her shoulders in a tight side hug.

“Thank you,” He expresses softly. He lifts his eyes to the rest of his friends. “I know it isn’t the greatest idea, but I really appreciate it.”

The half-hearted smiles he gets is enough for him. He nods once, then abruptly changes the subject. Bucky steps away from Wanda but grips her elbow and drags her over to Natasha.

“Now, Ana woke up an hour ago. She demanded that if I was going to have a bachelor night, which was not the case,” He gives a hard look to Steve who just shrugs. “She demanded both of you ladies to meet with her and Pepper at their house,” He tells them, now leading them towards another door. “Something about champagne and orange juice?”

“Mimosa’s, at this hour?” Natasha questions curiously. “It’s eleven at night.”

“Don’t question my bride, Natalia,” He responds flatly. He earns a sharp jab of his elbow in his ribs at her birth name.

“Just because you fully remember training me doesn’t mean you can call me by that name, Barnes.”

Wanda giggles next to them.

Bucky just rolls his eyes, fighting back a smug smile. He watches them go, chatting about picking up Sharon as well. Once they shut the door behind them, he turns back around and sighs, leaning against the door. It’s quiet, the room filled with tension for several moments. Then Tony breaks it.

“Well, if she thinks you’re having a bachelor night. Then lets make it happen!”

***************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next one will be rather long :D


	13. Take My Hand and My Heart and Soul and I Will Only Have These Eyes For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF AND SAP

There are several events that have happened in Bucky’s life that has made him feel like less of a man. Made him feel like there was no hope, no life outside of someone else’s control. Things that made him think “ _this is as mediocre as it gets_ ”, as he went through life one day at a time; surviving.

There are a scarce number of events that have happened in Bucky’s life that made him feel like he was simultaneously on top of the world, while also free falling. The first time he held his youngest sister in his arms. The first time he defended Steve on the playground (and the first time he also pulled him away from a fight). The first time he took his crush dancing; the first time he ever kissed a girl. The first time him and Steve discovered a Hydra bunker in the War, and the first time they took it out.

Those moments all had him wringing his hands together, before or after the moment. He was nervous but excited to hold his sister. Apprehensive but courageous when he was able to help that skinny little kid on a Brooklyn playground. Anxious but proud when he yanked that small, skinny little punk away from a guy three times his size. Confident but jittery when he asked his crush out, and timid but charming when he kissed her.

As for the War…he was just happy to be fighting next to Steve, able to watch his back for as long as he could.

Now, as Bucky stands in front of a full-length mirror staring back at himself, he wonders how it’s even possible to feel like his left hand is  _sweating._  His stomach is nothing but a tangled-up mess of jittery and excited butterflies. His heart is pounding so hard against his chest, he wonders if the people outside can hear it.

He wrings his hands together, calloused skin over smooth metal, pressing his left fingers into his right knuckles to ground himself. He’s already counted the little baby’s breath flower buds surrounding the single pale pink rose pinned to the lapel of his steel gray tux. Has already felt the texture of his burgundy tie, of the mirror’s wooden frame, of the bricks lining the walls. He can smell the flowers, the whiskey Tony provided, and the crisp fall air floating through the open window.

Nothing can calm him right now. He chews his lip, noticing his frown in his reflection, and fleetingly wonders if he can see Ana right now. Just for a moment, because he misses her. It’s ridiculous. They’re ridiculous. They’re only 100 yards away from each other, and they’re going to see each other in less then fifteen minutes, but he  _misses_  her. Then he rethinks it, because Bucky has had enough bad luck in his life, and if her sees her in her wedding dress beforehand…he’d rather not risk it.

However, ever since Ana connected their energies, their souls, it’s been a constant need to be near each other. If Ana is in the lab, Bucky is going up to visit her. He’ll sit in the corner quietly, maybe occasionally brush his fingers along her knuckles as she walks by. If he’s working on the farm, Ana will sit idly by the tree, presses her thigh against his when he takes a break. It’s things they’ve done before, but he feels her touch straight to his heart now, tingles his skin and makes him elated.

He wishes Ana was here right now though. Wishes she could calm his nerves just a little, reassure him with that gentle smile and her warm brown eyes. Have the little gold flecks glitter in the light and have her soothing voice coaxing him to come back to her. To come out of his anxious headspace and back into her loving embrace.

Almost as if he wished it all on a shooting star, something like a warm gust of air washes over him, and his tense shoulders relax instantly. It feels like he slowly dipped himself into the hot springs, the feeling seeping throughout his body, covering him like a cozy blanket; comforts his entire being.

Annie.

Bucky can’t help but smile, watching as his lips spread without his control. She can feel him, more than likely. She’s probably reading his energy, reaching out to him in the same exact way she did the first time they met.

He feels a solid, strong hand squeezes his right shoulder before he sees Steve in the mirror. The brotherly, comforting gesture pulls Bucky out of his thoughts.

“Buck, you ready?” Steve questions. His voice is soft, as is the smile on his friend’s face. “Don’t be nervous.”

For lack of words, Bucky nods. He shouldn’t be this nervous. His stomach shouldn’t be tightening and his hear shouldn’t be clenching. He knows Ana loves him. He knows this is happening, that he’s going to stand there at the alter and watch the love of his life walk down the aisle towards him. He knows Ana wants to marry him and had shown and reassured him time and time again. It’s just…Bucky is…

Exhilarated.

“Steve,” Bucky breaths out, meeting his eyes in the mirror. He swallows hard. “Is really this happening?”

A bright laugh escapes Steve’s lips. He grabs both of Bucky’s shoulders now, giving him an excited little shake. “Yeah, Bucky. It’s really happening.”

“I’m getting married.”

“Yeah, pal. You’re getting married to the best girl.”

Bucky abruptly has to blink, his eyes stinging from unshed tears, because the look on his Steve’s face says it all.

“You deserve every part of this, Buck,” He continues, turning him around to face him. “You deserve this. You deserve the love and devotion that incredible woman gives you. You deserve happiness. With Ana. You deserve to be her husband.”

As Bucky yanks Steve in for a strong hug, his eyes become wet. The sincerity in Steve’s voice is everything he needs right now. Bucky pats his back twice, grateful that they were able to get through time, hell and back to get to this moment right now.

“Thank you, Stevie,” Bucky mumbles roughly into his shoulder. “For standing next to me.”

Steve returns the solid pats. “I’m with you til’ the end of the line, pal.” He pauses. “Or, isle, I suppose.”

Bucky shoves him back as their laughter fills the room.

***

A slow, quiet inhale. A quiet, shaky exhale. The place where the [ceremony](https://media-api.xogrp.com/images/84a47aa6-00d2-4b16-a51c-d89e6b5be674~rs_720.480) is set up is beautiful. The ground is a gray slate of stone tiles, the aisle covered with a long pale pink runner, leading up to the teakwood handmade chuppah with dangling flowers and leaves. The backdrop is a gorgeous view of colorful trees of burnt oranges, yellows and reds, expanding out in the open valley. The sky is a clear dusty blue as the sun is getting ready to set soon. The weather is perfect, cool and just a tad chilly when the wind picks up.

He only remembers how it looks from the day before, as Bucky couldn’t remember his walk up to the alter. Although he can feel Steve’s solid presence next to him now. He looks out over the small crowd of faces, scanning the ones he knows and the ones he just met the night before. The gentle music had finally reached his ears as Pepper appeared in the doorway of the porch.

She had shared a sweet, knowing smirk with Bucky as she walked alone and confidently down the aisle. He sent his rather calm heart into overdrive again, because right after Pepper, will be Ana. He wrings his hands together once more, making sure he’s standing tall and straight. Steve knocks his shoulder against him, one last reassurance. The music changes growing louder as the crowd begins to stand. The doors open once more.

Then, everything fades away into a sea of blurry colors. Nothing else matters, except the woman standing between the doors. Bucky’s heart stops beating. His breath ceases in his throat. His chest fills with a tsunami of emotion as all-time stands still.

Ana is stunning.

Breathtaking. Radiant. An enthralling angel.

She is the most beautiful thing Bucky has ever laid eyes on.

Ana’s [gown](https://www.modwedding.com/wp-content/uploads/vintage-wedding-dresses-13-08132015-ky.jpg) is gorgeous, an ivory lace [dress](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/e6/9b/09/e69b09e4160990d25e2c263f17858b13.jpg) fits her perfectly, like a classiest glove. The neckline of the bodice dips low, but a sheer mesh top keeps it elegant. It leads to long, sheer sleeves, giving the illusion of lace on her olive skin from her shoulders to her wrists. The few embellishments sewn throughout the lace details gleam against the sun, highlighting her beautiful curves, as the skirt of the dress flares out towards the bottom.

Her thick, silky chestnut hair is pulled to the left, down her shoulder, fastened together with a soft blue jeweled pin. Her veil sits at the back of her head, cascading down to her mid back. Tiny pearls adorn the delicate tulle, pulling together the vision that is walking down the aisle. The train of the [dress](https://cdn.essensedesigns.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/6176.1445974277.0-530x845.jpg) follows behind her as she walks, arm in arm with Tony.

Every single emotion Bucky had attempted to keep at bay breaks. His heart swells, his chest tightens and all the nerves he was feeling disappears. He blinks, once, twice, four times because his vision is blurry, and he can’t miss a single second watching Ana walk to him. Something is wet on his cheeks as his bottom lip trembles.

Ana hasn’t pulled her eyes away from him. Her smile is radiant, shinning brighter than the sun that’s setting on the horizon. As she comes closer, Bucky notices the gleam in her eyes as well, and he can’t figure out if it’s the same tears he has in his eyes, or the gold glitter laced within the brown.

Bucky subtly pinches his right wrist, abruptly needing to make sure this isn’t a dream. That the angel walking towards him is real and will become his wife within the next several minutes. Behind him, it’s a miracle he can hear it through the white fuzz in his emotional brain, Steve releases a breath.

“She’s stunning,” He whispers.

Bucky nods slightly. Every single word that defines beautiful doesn’t come close to describing how Ana looks. She is everything that is beauty gracing this world.

Before he knows it, Bucky is face to face with Ana, his vision only tunneling her. That is, until both their beaming faces is interrupted by a rather loud, obnoxious clearing of a throat. His eyes snap to Tony. His expression isn’t the same for when Bucky watched Tony at his own wedding, but it’s damn near close. Pride, and something that’s suspiciously like fondness shines in Tony’s dark eyes. He raises his eyebrow at Bucky, his smile morphing into his classic smirk.

“Barnes,” Tony says as a light greeting. He pats Ana’s hand on his elbow. “You realize the moment I give her away-“ He suddenly stops speaking, dipping his head down.

Ana inhales sharply, briefly meeting Bucky’s gaze when he looks at her. He sees her squeeze Tony’s arm tightly. He nods, clears his throat twice, then picks his head back up. There’s a strong set to his jaw now, his eyes fleetingly glancing at Pepper, then back.

“You realize she’s all yours now, right? Stubbornness and all,” Tony quips.

Ana huffs and rolls her eyes, a single tear escaping. Bucky can’t help laughing.

“She already is,” He tells Tony.

“You’re a good man, Bucky. I know you’re good to her and will continue to be. But just know, if anything happens, I will be there to knock your ass to the ground.”

“Tony,” Ana warns lowly, but her quivering voice gives away her laughter.

“I was talking about you,” He teases, winking. Then he turns serious. “I mean it, Barnes. You take care of her now.”

Bucky holds out his hand to shake Tony’s in a strong grip. “I know, I will. Thank you, Tony.”

There’s a moment of hesitancy from Tony’s side, then, he pulls Bucky in for a hug. Despite his shock, because he didn’t think it would ever come to this, he returns the hug. Knowing this moment means so much to all three of them. After they pull away, Tony shoots him one last smile, then turns to face Ana. He presses a tender kiss to her forehead, Bucky watching as Ana bites down on her lip, her chest stuttering. She nods when Tony pulls back, grabs Bucky’s hand and brings his and Ana’s together until their fingers lace. Then he steps back taking his seat in the front row.

As Ana twists to hand her bouquet to Pepper, Bucky sees the back of her dress. At first glance it looks like an open, exposed back, but a closer look reveals it’s the same sheer material with white buttons going down her back. The train snitches just below her the top of her thighs, accentuating her curves even more. 

The [bouquet](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b4/a9/66/b4a966bdc31c7cf56a0515ae4b2ea4e6.jpg) she gives her cousin is a beautiful array of purple and white flowers, pops of dusty green leaves, and a sparkle of gold glittery branches. Bucky notices for the first time, the sliver dog tags tied around the lavender ribbon. He watches with a soft smile as Ana gently brushes her fingers over the engraved name of her brother on the tags.

Then she fully faces Bucky, releasing his hand and bringing both of her up to his face, cupping his damp cheeks. She has a tender smile on her soft pink lips as she brushes her thumbs over his skin, and a soft look in her bright eyes.

“Hi,” They both say at the same time. In the same, watery sort of tone, chuckling.

“You are so beautiful,” Bucky whispers, wrapping his fingers around each wrist.

He wants so badly to pull her in and kiss her. Keep her pressed to him forever, in the place where she carved herself into his heart. Ana blushes, a rare occasion, causing Bucky’s heart to nearly fly out of his chest. Someone clears their throat, a sarcastic little “ _ahem_.”

“We haven’t even started yet,” Clint Barton bristles, lightly and playfully nudging them apart. “At this rate, we’ll never eat the cake.”

Bucky sends a good-natured glare his way. “Why did we hire you again?”

“Because, Lefty, I took the course and became ordained for this sole purpose. Now if you both please.”

The quiet laughter of the people sitting in chairs brings Bucky back to his surroundings. Nearly forgetting that it isn’t just him and Ana. Though as she giggles, he feels her happiness radiating within his soul and thinks, then again, it is just him and her.

“Go on, Mr. Barton,” Ana inclines teasingly.

Barton tips an imagery cap at her. “It’s my great pleasure to welcome everyone here today in celebrating these two sickeningly in love birdies become one. I’ve known Ana for a while now, several years, and the kindness and genuine love she has for helping people is something rare and pure. I’ve gotten to know Bucky over the course of the almost two years. He’s had some rough patches, but somehow, he’s remained just as kind, a tough guy on the outside, but absolutely soft, especially for our girl here, on the inside.”

Bucky attempts to give him a hard glare. He fails. It’s true. When he looks back at Ana, her smile is that private one she gives, only to him, usually when they’re alone and snuggled up. His heart skips.

“The love they have for each other is as blatantly obvious as the sun,” Clint continues. He has a Bible in his hand but doesn’t seem to be opening it any time soon. “I think they are the epitome of that famous verse. “Love is patient, Love is kind. The patience and kindness they have for each other is outstanding and sometimes I wonder how these two people, both with some painful backgrounds has remained just that.”

Clint reaches his hand out and squeezes Ana’s elbow. It seems to cause her to inhale a shuddering breath. Bucky knows how hard this day is for her, as well as how exciting it is. He grips her hands harder, conveying his support and love.

“If no one believed in true love before, they just need to look at you two for proof. Sappy fools,” He says fondly, earning a few chuckles. “Instead of the lovely couple going the traditional route, they have their own vows they would like to say to each other.  _James_ , you first.”

Bucky’s heart ceases in his chest for a different reason. His vows,  _oh god_ , he wrote them down, in case he couldn’t remember anything, but did he grab it on the way out of the room? Before he can full on panic, something is pressed discretely into his right hand, the quietest huff of laughter sounding in his ear. Bucky dips his head down in silent gratitude, although the wink Ana sends Steve’s way tells him she picked up on what just happened.

He quickly scans the paper, eyes flitting over his sloppy cursive. He lifts his gaze, catching Ana’s kind, loving and patient eyes. Eyes he fell in love with, eyes that never, not once, judged him or held fear of him. One look at her, and he knows now, exactly what to say.

“As you know,” He takes in a breath, preparing himself, “my life has been a living hell. There were days when I almost gave up, times when I didn’t see myself being worth anything, to anyone. But then you came waltzing into my life, Ana, this flurry of stubborn, kind sass.”

Ana smiles brightly. Bucky returns it.

“When I met you,” He continues, trying to keep his voice steady. “I felt like everything I went through  _was_ worth it because I got you in the end. You were,  _are_ , this brilliant star that lights up my darkest nights. You have become my heart and soul, Ana, the realest thing I have ever felt. You taught me to forgive and love myself, and in doing that, I fell in love with you.

“You never saw me as a man who was forced-“ Bucky inhales shakily, breaking off. “You didn’t just see me as the Winter Soldier. You didn’t see me as a broken man trying to make sense of his life again. You saw me as me. I never imagined someone ever would again. But you, Annie Doll, you have accepted and loved every single piece of me.

“I kept thinking there was going to be a day when you would realize how unworthy of you I was. When you first told me you loved, I was terrified, confused. How could this beautiful woman, with a heart of gold, love someone like me. But you do, and despite everything, you stayed. You fought for me, you protected me, you gave me a new meaning to my life. Every day you show me you love me, and every day I know how lucky I am to have you. You are everything to me, Ana, and then some. And I promise-“

He breaks off this swallow the thick lump in his throat. He breathes in as he watches a few tears escape her eyes.

“I swear to be the best husband I can be for you every day in return. I will love you, support you, comfort you in every way possible. You’re my girl. My heart and soul. I love you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you as my wife.”

When Bucky finally stops his rambling, he realizes he has never been this openly vulnerable and emotional in front of this many people. But as Ana continues to smile, and gently wipes his own tears off his cheek again, he doesn’t really care. This, every single word, was true and all for her.

Clint clears his throat again, softer, quieter, this time. “Rios,” He murmurs thickly.

Ana half turns her body. “Pep,” She whispers.

Pepper shifts both bouquets around to pull a folded piece of paper from her dress pocket. She hands it over to Ana, then wipes her cheeks and gives Bucky  _a look_. He made Pepper Stark-Potts cry, just because he voiced his love for her cousin.

The gentle rustle of the withered paper pulls his attention back to Ana. The fold lines are frayed, and there’s wrinkled spots here and there, as if tears had fallen onto it. Belatedly, Bucky realizes the paper is the letter he wrote and left behind for her to read the day he left for Wakanda. So that Ana would know, and never forget that she didn’t fail him, and that Bucky would be thinking and dreaming of her every day.

“When you left to find a way to heal,” Ana begins, her voice hinting at a tiny quiver. “I felt like you took half of me with you. There were times when I didn’t think I could make it through the day. I just missed you so much.”

She holds up the letter. “But I found this, a piece of you that you left behind. A piece of you that reminded me every day of your love, and, if you don’t mind, I’m going to read just a few parts of it.”

Bucky gives her a small encouraging smile. Ana nods, dropping her eyes to the letter.

“‘ _My Dearest Annie. First and foremost, I love you with every inch of my heart and soul; I want to be a better man for you; It was never even a fragment of a thought that I would be this lucky in my life to find love this true, this deeply.’”_

Ana shakes her head slightly, carefully refolding the letter.

“First, you’re wrong, Winter Flurry,” Ana smiles cheekily at him. The crowd full of friends and family chuckles. “You didn’t need to become a better man for me. You already were the best man, and you still are. You say you’re the lucky one, but I’ve never felt a love like yours, and you make me feel like I’m deserving of every part of you. If that isn’t being the luckiest, then I’m not sure what is.

“When I met you, all I wanted to do was help. Be someone you could confide in, and you did. You put your trust and faith in me, in more ways than one, and I found myself falling completely in love with you. You were nothing but this kind, gentle, sweet man with a soft heart. Who encouraged me to take off my own mask, to not ignore my own feelings, that we could confide in each other. This wonderful man who had this incredible drive to keep going. I fell in love with your strength and desire to prove that you could overcome anything.

“Bucky, you are the most beautiful, resilient person I have ever met, and you’ve inspired me because of it. You have been through so much, for so long, yet you still found it in yourself to love me. When we were apart, I also felt like I was missing a piece of me, because you left your handprint on my soul.

“You once told me that you see me in the dark and you see me in the light. You’re right. You saw all of me, my fears, my scars. You allowed me to be vulnerable with you and became this comforting solitude I could lean on.

“I,” She pauses, her bottom lip trembling for a second. “I have known deep loss in my life,” Ana smiles through watery eyes, “but you, have become my home, my family. You’re everything I need and more.”

“James,” Ana says his name softly.

Bucky’s heart and stomach flip backwards simultaneously at the delicate tone of Ana’s voice, and the adoration her eyes.

“I love you with every fiber of my being, and I will continue to love you, even when you hide the Nutella from me,” She winks. Bucky squeezes her hands. “I am incredibly lucky and honored to be your wife, Winter Snowflake, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

An onslaught of emotion rises within Bucky’s veins, warming his entire body. He blinks furiously, attempting to rid the tears in his eyes. Ana just lifts her hands again, flicking them away. Bucky copies her, carefully wiping her tears away as to not ruin her makeup. He wants so badly to pull her in, wrap his arms around her and kiss her breath away. He almost does so, except their little bubble breaks once again.

“Jesus, you two,” Clint whispers under his breath. He discreetly tries pressing his finger into his right eye.

As Ana chuckles silently, Bucky’s gaze slips back over to Pepper. Her own eyes are red, and she’s biting her lip to contain her smile.

“I think you both win the prize for the most touching, emotional declaration of love ever,” Steve sniffles in his ear. “Not a dry eye right now, pal.”

Bucky glances over his shoulder to meet his friends’ eyes. Steve’s own blue ones are rimmed with tears, and he can’t help the chuckle that escapes his mouth. A soft hand cupping his scruffy jaw guides him back to face Ana once again. He takes her hands in his.

“I just want to say something to you both, as my dear friends,” Clint pipes up, voice just loud enough for everyone to hear. He looks between them, smiling widely. “I’ve watched you both for a while. I, along with some other selected people, have had the unfortunate privilege-  _ow_ \- right, the blessed privilege, to see the two of you fall in love. Well, obliviously tip toe around each other until that one rainy night-  _ow_.”

Bucky dips his head down to hide his laughter as Ana not so subtly stepped on Clint’s toes with her heel; twice.

“What I’m honestly trying to say is, you both deserve the happiness you give to each other. Your love is deep, true and pure and remember that marriage is compromise. It’s the greatest friendship, relationship, partnership you will ever have. Support each other, never go to sleep angry, and just remember, Barnes. If you piss Ana off, she can and will thoroughly kick your ass.”

Everyone laughs at that.

“I have no doubt,” Bucky agrees, smirking at his soon to be wife. Ana winks.

Nodding in satisfaction, Clint turns to Steve. “Do you have the rings, Cap?”

Steve carefully plunges his hand into his trouser pocket, pulling out a small black box. He passes it over to Clint, who slowly opens the box and presents it to Bucky and Ana. Pleasant surprise washes over him, smiling down at the rings. They were a surprise design by Shuri and T’Challa. The siblings, who are sitting just three rows back, offered to make the bands as a gift for them.

Instead of two rings, there’s four. One is Ana’s engagement ring, waiting to be out back on her finger. Two of them are dark navy blue, the color matching Bucky’s left arm perfectly. The ring meant for Bucky is thicker in width, with a engrave golden line running around the middle of the ring. The band meant for Ana is slightly thinner, the same design except for a small champagne diamond embedded in the middle of the gold line.

The third ring is solid gold, the opposite of the other two. The size looks bigger than the other meant for Bucky, and he quickly glances out to the small gathering, spotting the royal siblings. Shuri lifts her left hand, pointing to her ring finger, nodding excitedly.

“You’ll see,” Clint mutters, smirking at Bucky when he looks back over. “If you would please take the ring meant for your girl.”

Bucky carefully picks up the small band, praying he doesn’t drop it like he did with her engagement ring. All he wanted that day was for his proposal to go smoothly, and he dropped the damn thing. This time, he doesn’t, proud of himself for keeping a steady hand.

“Take Ana’s left hand in yours,” Clint instructs, “and repeat after me.”

Bucky does so, grounding himself with the feel of Ana’s soft, warm in his because this is happening, right now. He realizes that his fingers are trembling, but so are Ana’s, so he offers her a reassuring smile. She returns it brightly.

“Do you, Winter Brooding Snowflake, take Ana Feisty-Cuffs as your-“

“Barton!”

“Clint!”

Bucky and Ana scold in laughter at the same time.

“Kidding! Seriously though,” He clears his throat again.

Bucky makes eye contact with Ana again, not taking his eyes off of her even if he could. His heart is slamming against his chest.

“Do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take thee AnaRosa Rios, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?”

“Hell yes, I do,” Bucky answers clear and calm, despite the emotions he feels inside his chest.

Ana laughs as he gently slips on the wedding band until it reaches her last knuckle. She is smiling so wide; her eyes are near slits and he can hardly see the gold in them. He picks up her engagement ring and does the same thing, thumbing over the metals before releasing her hand.

“Ana,” Clint says next, “if you please take the rings, and take your man’s-“

“Right,” Bucky supplies immediately. “Right hand first, please.”

“Hey,” Ana murmurs, squeezing his fingers.

“Just want to feel you first,” He explains softly.

Ana nods in understanding.

“Do you, AnaRosa Rios, take thee James Buchanan Barnes, take to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?”

“I really do,” Ana states fervently.

She slips the navy wedding band on Bucky’s right ring finger, the metal cool against his skin. He squeezes her fingers before she switches hands. They share a brief glance, curious to know about the gold ring. She lifts his vibranium hand, easily slipping on the golden band, as it seems to be two sizes too big. That is, until it clinks against Bucky’s last knuckle, then the ring suddenly shrinks, fitting perfectly around his finger.

Both of them gape at the ring, then look excitedly out to the siblings. They both look proud and a little smug at the tiny piece of technology jewelry. Bucky doesn’t let the sweet gift of them designing a ring for his left hand go unnoticed. He’s going to express his gratitude to them properly later.

“Well then,” Barton speaks up one last time. “By the power vested in me by a three-hour internet course, I proudly, and with great joy, finally announce you kids as husband and wife. You-“

“Hurry up and kiss her, Barnes!” Someone calls from the crowd.

Bucky has to steady Ana as she silently giggles so hard she nearly stumbles.

“Nat! I wasn’t finished!” Clint shouts childishly at her. “As I was saying, you may now kiss your bri-rude!”

Bucky and Ana don’t let him finish, pulling each other in and searing their lips together passionately. Her left arm snakes around his neck as her right hand cups his jaw. Bucky wraps his arms around her shoulders and waist, cheekily dipping her back some. Their noses are smushed together, and their lips spread into wide smiles, turning the kiss from passionately, to silly as their teeth click together.

Bucky doesn’t think it could be any more perfect.

***

Their reception is simple, inside the cellar of the venue, the abundance lighting giving a cozy, romantic setting. There isn’t a Nutella fountain, but Ana did manage to find someone to make Nutella frosting for the top tier of their cake, which is just two tiers but surrounding by plenty of cupcakes. Speaking of, Bucky leans in close, his lips brushing Ana’s ear.

“Don’t think I didn’t see you sneak a cupcake just now,” He whispers, running his fingers along her arm.

They’ve already been introduced, after a flurry of popping lights with photos they took. Ana just wanted a few taken, nothing too crazy or thousands of pictures. Now they’re sitting at their table, surrounded by their friends and family.

She licks her lips mischievously. “I didn’t, Nat just brought me a napkin because I seemed to have lost mine. I didn’t know there’d be a cupcake inside of it.”

“Sure, you didn’t” He chuckles lowly.

Ana turns her face, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. It gets everyone cheering, and Bucky blushes slightly when they pull away.

“When do I get to dance with you?” He questions, barely able to contain his excitement.

Ana hums, reaching up to pull the hair tie that’s kept his hair bac in a bun the entire time. She runs her fingers through his hair, curling strands around. Her eyes shift to the left, spotting the DJ, or rather, the person in charge of the playlist they made, and nods.

“Now,” She smiles back at him, just as the person announces it’s time for their first dance.

Bucky stands, offering his right hand to his new wife. Ana smiles shyly, something she doesn’t normally do, and place her hand in his. He leads her into the middle of the dance floor, his left arm around her waist, as he laces their fingers of their other hands together. Immediately, he pulls her closer so she’s pressed against his side.

“It’s a shame,” Bucky muses lightly as the soft beginning notes of the [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzbmkvVHfyQ) echoes through the speakers. “We have very few dances between us.”

“That’s not true, Winter Wonderland,” She chuckles. “We dance in the kitchen all the time. And by the lake, and between the sheets-“

Bucky knocks their foreheads together. “We’re at a wedding, you minx.”

“As if that’s stopped us before.”

She winks and Bucky laughs.

 _If I could fly, I'd be coming right back home to you_  
I think I might give up everything, just ask me to  
Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down  
Right now I'm completely defenseless

Ana steps impossibly closer, her left hand on his shoulder slipping up to the back of his neck.

 _For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
I'm missing half of me when we're apart  
Now you know me, for your eyes only  
For your eyes only

Everything fades into a background of blurring colors, Bucky solely focusing on the women in his arms. He keeps their eye contact, knowing how utterly soft his face looks. He doesn’t care. He’s head over heels in love.

 _I've got scars even though they can't always be seen_  
And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing  
Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down  
Right now I'm completely defenseless

 _For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
I'm missing half of me when we're apart  
Now you know me, for your eyes only  
For your eyes only

Ana blinks slowly before closing her eyes, resting her forehead against his mouth. He kisses her delicately, swaying them carefully across the floor. His heat has never felt this full.

 _I can feel your heart inside of mine, I feel it, I feel it_  
I've been going out of my mind, I feel it, I feel it  
Know that I'm just wasting time  
And I hope that you don't run from me

Bucky nudges her head until Ana looks up, only for him to connect their foreheads together, staring into those beautiful brown and gold eyes. His own beginning to well up with tears once more.

 _For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart_  
For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
I'm missing half for me when we're apart  
Now you know me, for your eyes only  
For your eyes only, I'll show you my heart  
For when you're lonely and forget who you are  
I'm missing half for me when we're apart  
Now you know me, for your eyes only  
For your eyes only

“Real?” Bucky murmurs, the words hardly a breath between them.

“Yes,” Ana whispers gently.

_For your eyes only_

Bucky is the luckiest man alive.

*********************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3  
> This was the fluffiest thing I've ever written.


	14. Married Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and fluff, and oh look, angst. (because it's starting...)

A week of their honeymoon passes by, the country of Belize offering beautiful views of the ocean, cultural life, and gorgeous sunsets. It was a lovely, all-inclusive trip Pepper and Tony gave them as a gift. In a private resort villa, with their own private beach. Both Ana and Bucky nearly refused because it was too much; however, it turned out to be a lovely gift. What is not a gift is how Ana is feeling right now, after a night of finding a party on another beach.

“I hate you,” Ana mumbles weakly, a heavy pressure pushing against her skull. She’s pretty sure her head might explode soon, all over the clouds that make up the comfortable mattress.

She feels the light chuckles shake throughout Bucky’s body a she lays her head on his lap. She would turn her head and glare at her new husband, if it didn’t weigh twenty tons. His fingers running through her ocean kissed hair is making any pounding pain subside though. The delicate strokes feel good against her scalp, and she releases a content sigh. But only briefly, since the loud squawking of bird echo outside. Ugh, she shouldn’t have drank so much.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re pretending to hate me, my darling spouse,” Bucky says lightly, his thumb stroking over her temple.

She tries reaching back to tug his hair but gives up half way through. She groans instead, pressing her face into his muscular thigh. At least if her pounding headache is the death of her, she has a nice memory of his bare leg, her lips pressing against his warm skin.

“Should’ve had Thor-“ She pauses to groan and wince, “sneak some of his alcohol in your bag. You need to be on this level with me.”

“This is entirely your fault, sweetheart,” He laughs.

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“For one thing, you bit me when I tried taking away your drink.”

“I did not.”

She feels Bucky switch hands, his left now carding through her hair. He gently taps her cheek until she shifts her head, the back of his displaying a fading mark, with distinct teeth shape indents.

“I did bite you! Cool!” She says with weak enthusiasm.

Bucky snorts, poking her nose. “Second, you are a very clingy drunk. It was adorable. You made me carry you back here like a baby sloth.”

Ana blinks, finding strength to roll on her back, staring up at Bucky. His expression is nothing short of a shit eating grin, clearly taking the enjoyment of her current hangover. His eyes though, his eyes are so soft, the crinkles by the corners and the shine shinning in them. The blue of his irises matches the tropical waters outside. He makes her heart flutter. Always.

“Were those my words?”

“Your exact words were, “ _carry me like a baby sloth, Frosty”_.”

“You love me,” She sighs happily, letting her eyes fall shut.

“It’s why I married you,” Her husband states proudly.

Ana’s mouth slowly spreads into a smile.

“And for the sex.”

She would smack him…if half of that wasn’t an actual perk.

***

“Annie Doll,” Bucky whispers through the night. The sound of the waves crashing on the shore of Belize is soothing soundtrack.

“Hmmm?”

Bucky smiles, tightening his arms around her naked body. He presses his lips against her warm, sea salty forehead.

“Sometimes I can’t help but to think, still to this day, that this is all a dream. And even if it is, even if I’m actually in cryo-sleep, this is the best dream I have ever had.”

Ana abruptly pops herself up. In one quick movement, she’s straddling him, her own lean, muscular thighs caging around his. She looks like an angel, a vision sent from above with the moonlight cascading around her body. Her chestnut hair has been down and loose for several days, the salt from the ocean making the strands wavy. Her eyes capture him completely, Bucky feeling his breath hitching in his throat. The gold flecks seem to shimmer, the same time as he feels his heart surge, feels warmth in his soul. Her hands are splayed over his chest, one covering the scaring of his left shoulder.

“Not a dream, Bucky,” Ana tells him fervently.

She moves her hands, trailing them down his arms to his own hands. She laces their fingers together, before picking them up and placing his arms over his head. She hovers over him, leaning her body down just enough to graze her nipples along his chest, stopping when their noses touch. Arousal pools in low in his stomach.

“This is very much real.”

Bucky feels the cool metal of her rings against his skin. “Then I’m lucky enough to be awake.”

The smile that overcomes her face causes her eyes to squint. Ana dips her head down until her lips brush over his.

“You’re a sap,  _James_ ,” She whispers.

He tilts his head up, closing the distance and smiling into their kiss.

***

“I cannot believe you!”

“Me!? What about you!? This is all your fault!”

“Mine!? This is the most annoying thing about you!”

Steve enters the Lab once he landed in Wakanda, the shouting voices loud enough to be heard from the hanger the instant he stepped off the jet. He quirks a concerned, yet curious eyebrow at T’Challa, who is sitting with his mother and sister, Nakia and Okoye. He clears his throat, announcing his presence and pulling the King’s attention away from the voices.

“First newlywed fight?” Steve questions, crossing his arms.

“They’ve been arguing for the past ten minutes,” T’Challa answers, nodding.

“About what?”

Shuri giggles, rolling her eyes. “You’ll see.”

Suddenly, Ana throws something at Bucky, with fast precision. Bucky catches the object with his left hand, his fingers making cracks in the surface as he shoots her a glare. Steve narrows his eyes, then scoffs, exasperated while shaking his head.

“I can’t believe I married someone who doesn’t replace the empty container!” Ana shouts, throwing her hands up in the air.

“You’re the one who finished it last!” Bucky retaliates, waving the empty Nutella jar around.

Steve nearly turns around to just fly back home.

“I had a  _craving_!” Ana yells, or rather whines. “You said we had at least two more.”

“Are you both seriously fighting over chocolate?” Steve interjects, attempting to hide is amusement.

They both turn on him. “Hazelnut chocolate spread,  _Steven_.”

Steven blinks, because they said it at the same time, at the same sped, with the same tone. They were definitely made for each other. Shuri bursts out laughing. Nakia drops her head, her shoulders shaking with giggles.

“Have they always fought like this? Over trivial little things?” Okoye asks, her voice sharp. However, Steve sees the gleam of entertainment in her eyes.

“The last thing they fought over was who had the right to name Rosa’s babies,” T’Challa supplies.

“They’re going to have a strong, lasting marriage,” The Queen announces with admiration in her tone.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Annie Doll-“ Bucky begins with a pout.

“Nope. Don’t pull that voice on me, Snowflake,” Ana points a threatening finger at her husband. “You owe me a new jar.”

“Whoever finishes it, replaces it,” Bucky states firmly.

Steve watches as Ana places her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowing. She has a scowl on her face, however, he can see her lips twitching to keep it. Bucky is no better. His eyes look cold, almost reverting back to his Winter Soldier days, but upon a closer look, Steve sees the crinkles by the corners of his eyes, and the fondness around his mouth.

“I already did.”

“So did I.”

Then, they both breaks out in bright smiles as their audience all groan in union. Shuri nudges her brother, rubbing her fingers together in the universal “you owe me money” gesture. T’Challa sighs, pulling out notes and slapping them into his sister’s hand.

“Told you it wouldn’t last fifteen minutes,” Shuri grins gleefully.

“I hate you both,” Steve calls over to them. “For a moment there-“

“What, Rogers? You think since we’re married now that we would suddenly fight all the time?” Ana questions, a teasing smile on her lips.

“Yeah, you punk,” Bucky agrees, grabbing his wife’s arm and pulling her close. He plants a big kiss on her mouth. Ana tugs his hair when they break apart. “No fighting here.”

Steve just rolls his eyes at the two sickeningly in love, married couple.

***

“Annie Doll.”

“Winter Wonderland.”

“If I asked you out with a radio playing “ _The Way You Look Tonight,”_  would you go out with me?”

“Bucky. We’re married.”

There’s a pause.

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a no, now go take the pizza out of the oven, you dork.”

Later that night, as Ana is in the shower, the beginning notes of  _The Way You Look Tonight_  plays. Ana laughs so hard, she nearly slips in the shower. She ends up grabbing Bucky and pulling him in, clothes and all.

 

She refuses to watch _Say Anything_ with him again.

***

Poke.

“Hey.”

“Mmmfff.”

Another poke. “Hey.”

A forceful huff.

“Bucky.”

Silence.

“Buck. Snowflake. Jon Snow. Elsa. Frosty. Snow Flurry. Winter Bunny.”

Ana says each name with a poke to each rib.

“For the love of everything Holy...what do you want, you  _menace_?” Bucky grumbles, finally flipping over to face her on the bed.

“We’re married,” Ana states gleefully.

Bucky smiles despite himself. “Three months. Ninety-one days. One hundred thirty-one thousand, four hundred and eighty-seven minutes and seven million, eight hundred and eighty-nine thousand, two hundred and thirty-eight seconds.”

Silence.

“Bucky, holy shit.”

He finally opens his eyes, meeting her wide, shocked chestnut ones. “Was there something you wanted, my lovely wife? My spouse.”

“Spouse rhymes with mouse.”

He rolls his eyes, his smile widening. “Go to sleep, darlin’.”

It’s quiet for so long, Bucky nearly falls asleep, and he thinks Ana does too. Until.

“James.”

Every time she utters his first name, it’s like a prayer leaving her lips. It makes his heart swell. He slowly opens his eyes to stare at her.

“AnaRosa.”

A tiny smile graces her beautiful lips. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world to be your wife.”

Bucky melts. He pulls her in close and holds her the rest of the night.

***

Bucky sighs in front of her as Ana carefully brushes her fingers through his damp hair. It’s a content little sound, mixing in with the breeze coming off the lake. She gathers a good section of hair from his left side, separating them into three strands. She twists them together, holding her hand out once she’s at the end. The little girl next to her giggles as she hands Ana a tie. She takes it, securing the end of the braid. The girl then offers her an array of wildflowers. Ana smiles and nods, switching places with the girl. She then puts the flowers in Bucky’s braid as Ana makes another one on the right side.

Sleeping soundlessly in Bucky’s lap are two of the village boys, and one of the goats snuggled up in the older boys’ arms. Ana stares down at them, warmth filling her heart, and another thought of maybe starting a family with Bucky shoots through her mind.  _Someday_ , she says to herself. Right now, she’s perfectly fine watching the children of the village surround her husband and use him as a pillow to nap on.

Once she finishes the second braid and the girl puts flowers in it, Ana pulls them together. She takes out one of the hair ties, only to secure both ends of the braids together in the back. Then, she leans forward, pressing a light kiss against Bucky’s temple. It causes him to tilt his head back, blinking slowly up at her with ice blue eyes. Her heart flutters.

He smiles up at her, then lets his head loll to the side, resting against her thigh. They all fall asleep like that; the two boys on Bucky’s lap, the goat in the boy’s arms, and the girl curled against Ana’s side. She sneaks her hand down her husband’s chest, stopping in the middle to feel his heartbeat. Bucky shifts, sleepily grabbing her left hand with his, bringing her hand up to his mouth. He kisses the rings on her finger, falling back asleep with his mouth pressed to her knuckles.

*

The children of the village chase each other around, giggling brightly. Ana watches once in a while as she feeds the runt of Rosa’s babies with a bottle. Bucky leaves his work with moving the stacks of hay to check up on them both. Ana leans her head his thigh as he stands next to her, his hand patting the top of her head fondly.

“ _Umfazi_!” One of the children calls, pointing at Ana then Bucky. “ _Umfazi_!” The little boy shouts in glee.

The word brings Ana straight back to the first day when he arrived in Wakanda. When the same children called her that the minute they saw her with Bucky. Them calling her his wife would have made her blush back then.

“ _Ewe, ngumfazi wam_!” Bucky response proudly.

The children jumps around, laughing and cheering. The little goats join them, hopping and stumbling around their bare feet.

“ _Myeni wam_ ,” Ana whispers, peering up at him. She has been slowly learning Xhosa from Nakia.

The soft, warm smile Bucky gives her makes her heart swell.

 

***

The lights in the apartment flicker dangerously. Bucky eyes them warily, his skin almost sweating from the heat radiating off his wife. She’s angry. No, she’s  _livid_. And she hasn’t moved from her spot on the couch in front of the laptop. She hasn’t even said a word yet. She isn’t wearing the rings Shuri gave her, but Bucky is still a little apprehensive to even touch her.

He knew this would happen.

Tony called them via Ana’s laptop. What Bucky didn’t expect was for him to immediately confess about the Sokovia Accords issue. Tony opened it mouth and it all came spilling out. How the Avengers were once again split down the middle with half of them signing the documents. How they had all been at each other’s throats, tension running high. How they were all still disliking each other at the wedding, and the only reason Ana didn’t catch on was because Bucky convinced them to put everything aside.

What Tony told them next was something neither of them were expecting. For several months, a rouge scientist from AIM had been building a portal into the Quantum Realm (something Bucky vaguely remembered from his conversations with Scott Lang; the guy he met briefly but selflessly wanted to help their team out in Germany). The scientist had malicious intent, as he wanted revenge from the company that had fired him. He turned the portal into a vortex, that had begun to suck in the surroundings. According to Tony, due to the Accords, he, Natasha, Rhodes, Vision and even Wanda had to sit back and do nothing.

However, that didn’t stop Steve, Sam, Clint, and Scott from jumping into action; against the government’s permission. Which in turn, had led Thaddeus Ross to send the other to stop them. It turned into a battle no one wanted to fight, and one that was almost as costly as the airport incident in Germany.

Bucky had shifted in his seat, remembering how bad that fight had been. Next to him, Ana had asked in a quiet voice, when Tony officially signed the Accords. His reluctant answer, after a quick glance at Bucky, made Ana grow tense.

Tony continued, Bucky noticing a strange glint in his eyes. As if he knows he’s disappointing Ana with his words. He told them, with a hard set to his jaw and shadows of bruises around his cheeks, that Steve took off.

The silence following the news Tony informed them with has now stretched on for several minutes. It’s a miracle the laptop itself hasn’t shut off. Bucky swallows, curling and uncurling his fists to shake off the anger he’s feeling too. It’s not even his own, but secondhand from Ana. He can feel how mad she is, he can see her fingers trembling with effort to hold her emotions back.

On screen, Tony doesn’t look any better. His expression breaks a few times; his lips pulled down, the hard clench of his jaw, the despair in his brown eyes. Bucky feels for the man. He feels for all of them. They are his friends too. Suddenly, Stark clears his throat, and the sounds makes Ana’s jaw twitch.

“I am really sorry, Ana,” He says once more, keeping his voice even.

Next to him, Ana inhales slowly. Bucky knows it’s not a good sign.

“You hid this for three months,” Ana states calmly.

“The timing wasn’t right. With your wedding, the honeymoon. We didn’t want-“

“You. Hid this. For three fucking months.”

“Technically, we didn’t inform you of the Accords. This, the Avengers breaking up….it happened two days ago.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck. You fucking hid the fact that half of you signed the damn Accords from me for three months, Tony!” Ana snaps, banging her hand against the coffee table.

Bucky winces. He shifts closer to her, pressing his thigh to hers, hoping to offer some calming support.

“You all did,” She continues in a softer tone. Bucky picks up the tiniest waver of her voice. “Why didn’t at least tell me something like that was going on? That it put you all at each other’s throats? We could’ve helped. I could’ve…I could have helped you all, Tony. I could’ve kept energies calm, relaxed. We could’ve helped with the-”

Tony began shaking his head halfway through her words. “No. That was not an option. Neither of you are part of the Avengers, nor was I going to risk your newly married lives for this. It was a Quantum Realm portal that began to suck everything within a five-mile radius into it. Like a black hole. I wasn’t going to put you both in danger.”

“No? You let the others do just that because your hands were tied with the fucking Accords. So, you just sat back and let the others-

“Hey!” Tony snaps, his tone sharp, angry. Ana glares at him. “I have been trying to keep the team together. I signed the Accords for this very reason. When something this dangerous happens, it not only keeps us in line, but it keeps us safe, as well as the safety of others.”

“But only at the risk of said innocent bystanders, right?” Ana counters. “It’s all okay because the government told you can’t go, so nothing bad will happen to civilians. At least, at the hands of the Avengers they want to control. What bullshit!”

“Annie,” Bucky whispers, attempting to grab her hand. She snatches it away, and he tries ignoring the sting of it.

“And  _you_ ,” She rounds on him, her eyes ablaze with anger. “You knew this whole time and didn’t tell me either? Whose side are you on?”

He knows she doesn’t mean it. He knows she’s hurt, upset and angry, but it doesn’t stop the pain curling in his stomach. He can’t help but agree with her though. He is her _husband_ , he should have told her the day after the wedding. Bucky opens his mouth to speak, however, Tony beats him to it.

“Ana. It’s not his fault,” Tony defends. “Bucky encouraged us to wait until after the wedding to tell you. We just…like I said. With your wedding and your honeymoon. We didn’t want to ruin it, so we put it off. Again, and again. I’m sorry we waited. I’m sorry  _I_  waited. I’m sorry it’s come to this.”

Ana shakes her head. “How bad was the fight?”

“Nearly lost-“

“Between you and Steve, Tony.” Ana cuts him off sharply.

There’s several seconds of silence before he answers. “He-uh-abandoned his shield. Went off the grid. They all did.”

Bucky grits his teeth, digging his fingers into the couch cushions. Steve would only ever do something like this if it jeopardized everything he believed in. He has always stood up for what is right, truly and justly right. He has defied and went against government orders several times before, and this is no different. It doesn’t come as a shock to Bucky, not whatsoever. The going off the grid part and not even contacting him; that’s something he wasn’t expecting.

His best friend is on the run from the fucking government, going God knows where, doing God knows what and getting into God knows what trouble. Half of his other friends are doing the same thing; Sam, Natasha, who apparently “double-crossed” Tony and made a last split decision to help Steve. Wanda, who had followed along the lines of Natasha and couldn’t stand by anymore, and Clint. Even Vision took off days after the incident, according to Tony.

Next to him, Bucky feels how still Ana has grown. The lights around them stop flickering; instead they grow brighter with each passing moment. This isn’t good. Bucky glances at his wife, her eyes shining with unshed tears, her nostrils flaring, and her mouth pressed into a hard line.

“You guys,” She begins to say, her voice low. “Have been my family for the past six years, and now…” She doesn’t finish, her bottom lip trembling.

“Ana,” Tony sighs. He sounds guilt-ridden. “You know every one of us will still be there for-“

Ana abruptly stands. It’s the exact moment the lights in the entire apartment pop. Their home is thrown into darkness as Ana slams the laptop shut, then storms out of the living room. Bucky didn’t even flinch, he just drops his head, rubbing his eyes. He doesn’t think this is something he can fix, or even help her with, short of dragging everyone’s asses back to the compound and making them talk it all out. He feels utterly helpless.

By the time he pushes himself up to follow after Ana, she is already grabbing a bag, shoving her boxing gloves in it. Along with a pair of leggings and a shirt; one of Bucky’s but he doesn’t tell her that. She doesn’t spare him a glance as she pushes past him back into the living room.

“Where are you going?” He questions, already knowing the answer.

“Boxing. Without you.” She states angrily.

She rips open the refrigerator door, snatching two water bottles and shoving them in her bag. He watches as she deliberately yanks her phone out of her pocket, dropping it on the counter as it buzzes. She presses the side button, until it shuts off completely. Bucky catch Tony’s name flashes across the screen.

“Annie-”

“No. Don’t. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me for three months, Bucky. Three months!”

He goes to respond when the next words out of her mouth shoot through his chest.

“I’m sleeping in the hut tonight. Do _not_ follow me.”

He feels the sting of her words, of the meaning of them. Again, he knows how hurt she is over the Avengers breaking up, over her family. However, there was a time when Bucky locked himself away from Ana for three days. There was a whole 304 days of them being apart, he is not going to let her walk away and sleep alone that easily. Bucky is her husband now, and if there was one thing his Ma taught him decades ago about love, it was to never go to bed angry.

So. Bucky does the opposite of what his wife tells him. He follows her. He doesn’t even wait two seconds before he catches the door and trails after her. Ana remains silent, but he sees her tense shoulders. She leads him down the familiar path to the farm, to the tree where Bucky set up the punching bag.

The night is quiet, besides the faint chirping of insects. The air is warm, caressing their skin like a cozy blanket. Normally, Bucky would lay out here with Ana on a night like this, or they would sit in the hot springs. Instead, he watches as his wife furiously put on her gloves and starts throwing punches at the bag.

She goes at it for thirty minutes, barely taking a break. When Bucky silently offers her water, she ignores him. Sweat is dripping off her body, soaking into her shirt, her hair sticking to her forehead. Bucky is just grateful that she hasn’t yelled or snapped at him to leave. Grateful that his silent support is seemingly welcomed by her.

Finally, after so long, Ana abruptly stops. She places her gloves hand on her head, panting, her chest heaving in gulps of air. Her eyes snap to Bucky, and it’s ridiculous how his heart surges from the attention.

“Why does Steve have to be so…morally right all the damn time!?” She explodes, suddenly turning and knocking a forceful punch into the bag. “He’s your goddamn friend! Why does he always have to stand up for it, fight against it. Ugh! Why does he have to be so...Captain America!”

Bucky nearly laughs. He doesn’t, because that would piss her off more, but he almost does. Bucky has been asking himself those questions since he met Steve on that playground a lifetime ago. He asked himself that when he always pulled Steve away from fights, from trying to prevent him signing up for the army. Clearly, Bucky still doesn’t have the answer to them.

“It’s how he is. It’s who he is,” He decides to answer softly.

Ana hesitates for a split moment. Then she continues.

“Why does Tony have to be so goddamn stubborn! Why did he have to agree to those stupid Accords in the first place!? He’s up there thinking that signing on will atone for anything. As if it will erase his past sins, the things that happened because of him. It doesn’t! It doesn’t matter if he owns up to the past because all the lives he feels responsible for are still- it still happened! Just because he’s trying to make up for it now doesn’t erase the lives lost. It doesn’t fix anything!”

She spins, lifting her leg in the air, landing a roundhouse kick against the bag. She makes contact so hard, so forcefully, the bag shoots right off the rope, sand flying through the air. Bucky blinks. She didn’t use her ability to do that; that was the sheer power of her new knee.

“Are you,” Bucky speaks up. He hates how he can hear his voice shake, because Ana’s words hit his Winter Soldier days right on the mark. It’s the crippling guilt Bucky still battles with once in a while.

“Are you saying…no matter what he does, he can’t make up for his past mistakes? That his past is all anyone is going to see and remember? He’s trying to make up for it now, but that’s all shit and doesn’t matter in the end because people still died by his hands?”

Ana’s glare softens, and her shoulders drop with he breath Bucky hears leave her lungs.

He swallows the bitter taste in his mouth; her words stung. Even if they weren’t exactly directed at him. It hurts. “We all owned up to what we’ve done. Tony was just trying to do what’s right. They both are.”

Ana’s expression slowly changes with realization. Her eyes widen, her mouth parts. She looks horrified. he quickly rips off her gloves, dropping them to the ground. She covers her face with her hands, finally letting out a sob. Bucky quickly walks over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She flinches away. Thankfully, he knows her so well that he knows her reaction wasn’t to his touch, but to the words she spoke.

“ _No_ , Bucky, God no!” She cries. She picks her head up briefly. “That’s not. I didn’t mean it like that- _oh God_. I’m fucking horrible.” She drops her head again, sniffing into her palms.

“Hey, darlin’, you’re not horrible. It’s alright,” He soothes, reaching out for her again.

“No,” She picks her back head up. “I’m angry and upset, but that doesn’t give me the right to say what I just did. I’m sorry, Bucky. That’s not what I meant.”

Bucky pulls her in, wrapping his arms around her, sweat and all. “I know you didn’t, Ana. It’s alright, I promise.”

“I’m so sorry,” She sobs into his chest, gripping his shirt. “I’m-I’m not mad at you. That wasn’t directed towards you. I didn’t mean what I said at all.”

“I know, Annie. I know,” He reassures her, attempting to convey his emotions to her. To makes her believe he isn’t upset with her. “Shh, baby, it’s okay.”

“This sucks,” She sniffles into his chest. “I just want to fix it.”

“I don’t think it’s something you can, sweetheart.”

He feels her nod, so he tightens his arms around her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have the moment we got back.”

“It wasn’t your place,” She pauses for a few moments. “Steve hasn’t contacted you.”

It’s not a question.

“No,” Bucky confirms. He bites the inside of his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Bucky.” She says again, but this time, it’s on Steve’s behalf.

He inhales deeply, the scent of roses and clean sweat and grass fills his nose. He leans back far enough to drop a tender kiss to her damp forehead, not caring in the least bit. He hooks his finger under her chin to lift her face, her brown and gold eyes laced with sorrow and guilt.

“Enough apologizes for tonight, Ana, alright? Let’s give it a few days, cool down a little and try contacting them. Does that sound okay, doll face?”

Like he expected it to, the name makes Ana a crack small smile as she nods. She grabs his fingers, pressing a kiss over his wedding band.

“Now, did you want to stay here, alone? Or do you want to come back with me?” Bucky asks, hoping she chooses the latter. “I mean, I have to replace all the light bulbs, so I understand if you want to sleep here.”

“Bucky,” Ana says, her voice sounds close to tears again and colored with remorse. “I was upset. I didn’t mean…I never want to sleep without you next to me. Ever. I’m telling you now, no matter how big any fight gets, I always want you next to me. I promise.”

He gives her a sweet smile. “I was hoping to hear that. I promise the same thing.”

“I love you,” She murmurs, bringing both her hands up to cup either side of his jaw. She places a tender kiss on his lips.

“Love you too. All is forgiven, alright? Well, with me at least.

She chuckles at that. Then she scrunches her nose. “I need a shower.”

“Yes, you do,” He quips. It earns him a sharp tug to the hair.

Together they walk back to their apartment, Bucky’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, as Ana’s arm is wrapped around his waist. She keeps pressing little kisses to the side of his chest as they walk. Small little gestures of her apologizes still. Bucky doesn’t hold any of it against her. He just wants to be her comfort, support her in every single way, in anything that comes their way.

After they both showered and snuggled up in bed, he still can’t help but think of how some of her words had truth to them. He knows, he _knows_ , that’s the furthest from what Ana really thinks, he has a good ten months and more of solid proof of that. But the nasty, dark, negative part of his brain that’s still there, and will always remain there, rears it’s ugly head. Erasing the triggers didn’t erase his self-doubt or the guilt that crushes his soul still.

He subtly lifts his hands just enough so he can see them. The same hands that had taken so many lives. Bucky may not agree with the Accords, but he understands exactly where Tony is coming from. He gets it. Suddenly, Ana’s left hand is in his, her fingers fitting between the spaces and curling over his knuckles. Their rings align, and a warm feeling begins to seep along his veins and into his heart and soul. He smiles, despite himself, and the little dark part of his brain is quiet. 

“All those years…none of that was your doing, and I’m sorry I even made you think that, Bucky,” Ana tells him quietly. “I never meant to hurt you.”

She continues to convey her energy to him, reassuring him once again, that the brain washed assassin was never to blame. Reassuring him how apologetic she is, how much she didn’t mean any of those words; for him or Tony. Bucky knows this, he has no doubt. He kisses her temple, holding her to his chest because she refuses to have an inch of space between them.

He nods. “I know you didn’t, Annie,” he murmurs, allowing his own feelings of reassurance wash over her.

He finally feels her relax against him. Minutes pass, holding each other tight, and Bucky is nearly asleep when his wife speaks up again.

“I hope Steve knows he can come here,” She whispers into the night, squeezing his hand. “If he needs to.”

A different wave of emotion surges through Bucky’s chest at her words. His voice cracks when he speaks.

“I hope so, too.”

 ***************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0.0  
> Whoops.


	15. Feeling That You Get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Fluff and Implied smut
> 
> Finally! Sorry it took so long for this one, as it tends to set up the next drabbles to follow, which will be the endgame now (See what I did there :D )

**Five Months Later:**

Bucky is doubled over laughing, has been laughing for the past five minutes and he swears he hasn’t cried from laughing in decades. Honestly, he is not shocked in the slightest with how this scenario turned out. The minute Bucky got a call from a blocked number he knew who it was. He was relieved. It had been six weeks since they got the news before Steve finally contacted him, but Ana, she was nothing but sass.

_“Wow, glad to see that dinosaur knows how to use a phone!” She said loud enough for her voice to be heard._

_Bucky leveled her with a look, but all she did was shrug._

_“Six weeks, and you’ve had this annoyed and worried tick in your jaw, that no matter how hard I rode your face, it just wouldn’t go away.”_

_Bucky’s eye went wide with shock, followed by a loud cackle and Steve’s stammering response on the line. He caught his wife’s arm before she could walk away, pulled her in for a searing kiss and muttered against her lips:_

_“Maybe you gotta try one more time, darlin’, just to be sure.”_

_Steve hung up, only to call back two hours later._

Now, Bucky is getting the entertainment of his life. Both him and Ana were by the lake enjoying a nice lunch, when they were surprised by someone neither of them were expecting to see. That’s when Ana began throwing rocks made of dirt at him.

“Buck! Get your wife!” Steve shouts behind his makeshift shield, which happens to be an empty bucket of feed.

“He can’t help you, Rogers!” Ana yells, pelting clumps of clay at the man.

“Bucky!” 

A bigger dirt clump explodes as it hits his shoulder, Steve’s left side of his face sprinkled with clay. Bucky tries to contain his laughter, tries to take deep breaths so he can speak. However, his wife’s aim has always been spot on and he won’t step in to stop her when she’s in a rage. A very entertaining, protective rage. 

“Bet you’re regretting leaving your shield now, pal” Bucky quips, earning a glare from Steve.

“Say you’re sorry!” Ana demands, throwing the last rock.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Now will you stop? I’m getting dirt in my mouth!”

When Ana finally ceases her attack and Steve’s blue shirt is colored with orange-brown spots, they invite him into their hut. Bucky gave him a lecture that brought on a feeling of déjà vu, as if he was scolding his friend back in a Brooklyn alley once more. Steve had explained his side of what happened with the portal and the team breaking up. It’s not something either of them wanted to hear, but at least everyone who is on the run seems to be safe and well hidden. With the exception of Clint and Scott Lang, who both had families to think about and made a plea bargain instead.

Bucky feels a strange wave of emotions radiating from Ana as he sits next to her. Their arms are touching, skin to skin, and it feels like cold prickles seeping through his pores. He briefly wonders if this is what his wife feels all the time, and how second nature it is to her now. He stretches his pinkie finger over hers, offering her comfort.

“Vision went to meet up with Wanda?” Bucky doubles checks. He’d be concerned for the girl if she was hiding from the government alone. He knows exactly how that feels, and Wanda is still a kid to him; just 21.

“He took off in the middle of the night, so he wouldn’t be followed,” Steve confirms.

“So,” Ana finally speaks up since Steve started talking. “It’s just Rhodes then? Technically Peter, but since he’s underage and not an official Avenger, the Accords don’t apply to him. Nor do they actually know his identity.”

“Correct,” Steve answers solemnly. Bucky sees his eyes squint as he pauses. He meets his gaze fleetingly, both coming to the same conclusion. “Tony isn’t alone, Ana.”

“Doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel like he is,” She mutters bitterly. “Pepper’s been out of town too.”

The sigh Steve exhales sounds heavy with remorse. However, Bucky knows him down to his core, and though his friend might be feeling guilty over the fact that his friendship with Tony is now strained, Steve still believes he did the right thing.

“I sent him a burner phone, in case he ever needs me,” Steve informs Ana. “I’ll always be there,” He pauses once more. “Just not where the government is involved.”

Bucky swipes his pinkie finger over his wife’s several times. He’s watching her carefully as silence stretches between the three of them. Finally, she nods in understanding, Steve sending her an appreciative smile. He kicks his foot out to nudge against her own, until she returns the teasing gesture. Bucky sags with relief. This entire Accords situation has not put Ana in a good mood during those first two months.

Numerous times she had snapped at Bucky or grumbled about how stupid heroes could be. He just took it, allowing her to lash out at him, until Ana caught herself. She told him he shouldn’t allow her to do that, that her anger and disappointment is misdirected, but it’s not an excuse. Bucky had told her he didn’t mind one bit, that he would rather have her lash out then bottle it up. Ana insisted that he stopped her the next time it happened, and when it did, he spoke up. He told her it wasn’t fair, and she agreed.

Since then, Ana hasn’t snapped at him once, and they have talked it through together. He helped her accept that what happened was the others decision, and the fallout was something they would have to handle. Ana wasn’t a part of it, so her strange guilt was moot. She had also accepted the Healers of Wakanda’s advice to begin mediating; Bucky thinks it helps better than anything. He also thinks the make-up sex has plenty to do with that too.

He blinks back to the present, pressing a quick kiss to her temple. She leans into him, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Steve’s expression soften into a smile.

“Maybe this is good in the long run,” Steve speaks up, his voice airy, light. Bucky narrows his eyes suspiciously. “Maybe it’ll give Tony and Pepper time to start a family.”

Ana perks up next to Bucky. “Maybe! I know Tony wants kids.”

Bucky narrows his eyes at his best friend. He has a feeling he knows where this is going. Steve’s eyes flash, a sign of mischief he has seen since he met the little skinny kid on the playground.

“You know,” He begins, “you seem to be glowing, Ana.”

Bucky shakes his head at the lame attempt, laughing under his breath. When he catches Ana’s gaze, she looks confused. Which last for three seconds before she looks back at Steve, then to him once more. Suddenly he sees it click in her beautiful brown eyes, rolling them towards Steve.

 “Yeah,” She states. “It’s called being happily married…with a healthy dose of mind-blowing orgasms.”

Steve drops his blushing face into his hands. Bucky makes an indigent noise.

“Not what you were expecting? Because I’m not expecting,” Ana laughs brightly. “Although, we do have a lot of se-“

“Alright, Шалунья, enough out of you,” Bucky scolds playfully, wrapping his right arm around her shoulder to cover her mouth with his hand. She promptly licks his skin, as if it would bother him.

“I’m sorry I implied anything,” Steve mumbles behind his hands.

“Actually,” Ana’s word is muffled by his hand. Instead of removing it, she bites the fleshy part of his palm. Bucky inhales sharply, glaring at his wife as he lowers his hand. He swallows thickly. He’ll get her back for that.

“I think it’s to do with my abilities?” She questions at the end as Steve uncovers his face. “It’s been shimmering lately. Could be due these rings Shuri made. They help regulate the energy without the exhausting affects, and it’s always been tied with my emotions. So, the happier or angrier I am, it starts to glow.”

“She has been extremely happy, well and angry,” Bucky supplies. He feels Ana squeeze his hand, offering him an apologetic smile. He shakes his head, since all has been forgiven during those rough weeks.

“That’s interesting,” Steve muses.

Before either of them can say anything else, the little Kimoyo beads Shuri gave Ana as a necklace glows against her chest. Bucky carefully plucks it off the bead, holding it flat in his palm, a small holographic screen popping up. Shuri’s cheerful, youthful face takes up most of the frame, but she frowns when she sees Bucky instead of Ana.

“Nice to see you too, kid,” Bucky greets flatly.

“Stop stealing her beads,” She laughs, twisting as if she can see Ana. “I’m not summoning  _you_  on her bead, genius.”

Ana presses her cheek against his, leaning into him. “He’s just jealous he doesn’t get a personal one. Do you need me to come to the Lab?”

Shuri nods excitedly. “There was a breakthrough with the psychiatric healing devices!”

“On my way!” Ana grabs the bead from Bucky’s hand as the screen vanishes. “I’ll be back, you boys have fun! Stay out of trouble and don’t feed Rosa anymore treats, she’s had enough pears today!”

Then she’s taking off, waving her goodbye in the air. Bucky can’t help the fondness washing over him as she disappears over the hill.

“She’s still the same as ever,” Steve voices softly.

“Stubborn and fierce to the core,” He agrees. “I like her.”

“Good thing she’s your wife.”

Bucky wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulder, tighten his grip firmly. “Don’t you ever go that long without checking in again, you hear me Rogers?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say,  _mom_.”

 *

An hour goes by, filled with Bucky putting Steve to work for a bit, then taking him around the village. He has visited before, but he never wondered outside of the palace or lab. He meets the village people and children, some of the other tribes, and takes him to the lake Bucky is fond of.

“This is where you purposed?” Steve questions, gazing out over the lake.

“Yup, and the spot you’re standing on is where I dropped the ring, twice. Because I was so damn nervous,” Bucky laughs at the memory.

“So,” He drawls out, “you haven’t discussed children yet?”

Bucky snorts, running his fingers through his hair. “She mentioned starting a family before we got married, but we haven’t really brought it up since.”

“Any particular reason?”

He doesn’t answer right away. The possibility of having kids with Ana makes Bucky’s heart sore. However, it also leaves a bitter taste of self-loathing in his mouth. Could he even be a good father? Would he be enough? He keeps those doubts and fears to himself for now.

“We’ve just been enjoying our time as husband and wife,” He finally answers. “It’s only been eight months. There’s no rush.”

He sees Steve nod from the corner of his eye. “How are those energy rings holding up for her? Do they make the connect you both have stronger?”

“No, I don’t think. That was all Ana herself when she connected our energies. It’s incredible, Stevie. I can feel her all the time, like her life energy is this infinite sunlight around me. It’s subtle, but powerful.”

A firm hand squeezes his shoulder, and when Bucky meets Steve’s eyes, he sees nothing but happiness there. Along with a teasing eyebrow wiggle, to which Bucky playfully nudges his friend off him.

“The rings are ingenious,” He continues. “Shuri, that girl’s mind is a masterpiece. She keeps improving my arm too, and the rings, and the technology she comes up with is-“ He breaks off shaking his head in wonderment. “This place is amazing.”

“Incredible,” Steve agrees. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Ya know, you can stay here if you need a home.”

“I know that option is always open, Buck. From you and the King, but my place is still out there in the world. There’s a lot of underground issues at hand.”

“Still picking fights with things bigger than you.”

“You know it, pal.”

“Still a scrappy little punk forever.”

Steve laughs brightly, wrapping his arm around Bucky’s neck in a headlock.

*

The trek from the lab to their hut by the lake is just over a mile on foot. Ana sometimes takes the long route to and from, enjoying the serene landscape and warm breeze. Sporadically, she will find a stray goat or pig that has wondered off and coaxes it to follow her back. Other times, she and Bucky take the small journey together, fingers laced.

As Ana makes her way over the final, small hill she spots her husband and Steve, each petting the goats. She hears Bucky introducing the newest additions that race around Steve’s legs, knocking into him here and there. She can’t help but chuckle at the scene when she reaches them, bending to pick up one of the kids that exhausted themselves.

“Having fun?” Ana teases, offering the sleepy goat to Steve. He fumbles briefly, until he gets his large arms securely around the young goat’s body.

“They’re very cute,” He states, cradling the animal. “Bit of a handful.”

“That they are. Hey Bucky,” She turns to address her spouse as he lays down a fresh bill of hay. “Shuri requests your presence. Said she just finished some improvements to the new arm she’s been working on.”

Bucky’s eyes light up, an excited smile on his lips. Walking up to Ana, he gently cups the back of her head, pressing a tender kiss above her eyebrow. In return, she rests her hands on his hips, eyes fluttering at the sensation of adoration washing over her spine.

“Did you peek?” He murmurs against her skin, his left hand drawing circles over the side of her stomach with is thumb.

“No, I know better.”

His huffing laugh warms her skin before he leans back. “Meet you guys back at the apartment?”

Ana nods, placing a quick peck to his mouth. Bucky’s fingers scratch the base of her skull three times, before he steps around her, biding Steve a quick wave as he heads off. Ana catches the Captain’s fond look, clearly having witness their moment. Naturally, she sticks her tongue out at him.

“You haven’t seen our place, have you? In the city.”

Steve carefully lowers the now sleeping goat on a thicker part of the grass. He brushes his hands against his jeans, shaking his head. “Not yet.”

“Come on then!”

 *

They have been walking for a good twenty minutes, taking the scenic route as well, when Ana decides to bring up something that has been on her mind for the past few months. At first, it was just a fleeting thought, a quick feeling, something so minuscule, it didn’t need attention. As the days passed into weeks, and weeks into months, it has now gnawed at the back of her brain. Rather, it’s been pressing against her energy, making little ripples against the positive vibes in the air.

“Steve,” She speaks up casually, “Can I talk to you about something, uh, with me?”

The worried expression flits over his face fleeting. “Anything, Ana, you know that.”

She nods, fiddling with her wedding rings. “I’ve been…having this strange feeling. It never feels urgent, but it’s weird, almost like it’s scratching at something I don’t know is there.”

“With you two?”

“No, no, we’re fine. It feels more like, when you can sense a storm coming, the wind shifts a little, but it isn’t on a grand scale,” She pauses, trying to collect her thoughts. “I’m not explaining it right.”

Ana halts her steps, Steve following suit. “I got upset when I heard about what happened with you guys, so my energy was a little out of control. However, I’ve been doing a lot of mediation, and working with the healers here to connect my energy to an element that’s more grounding.”

“Grounding. As in the earth’s energy?” Steve inquires thoughtfully.

“In a way, the earth is a solid foundation, strong. It embodies energy of life all around in many forms. The healers allow me to visit one of the sacred places with them so I can mediate without interruption. It helps steady it, plus the rings regulate this ability more so. I’ve been doing it for over two months now, and I think maybe that’s why I can feel it?”

“Feel what, exactly?”

Waving her hands around her, she answers, “A strange,  _vitality_ , settling over the earth. Is that weird? It’s probably weird, since it’s never happened before. It’s not quite, ominous. The atmosphere here is mainly happy, positive vibes, and Bucky is-“ She breaks off, smiling softly at the mention of her husband. “He’s been great, and he feels great, and I can feel him, you know?”

“Yeah, he mentioned that. Says you feel like sunshine to him,” Steve smirks, but his eyes are soft, clearly happy for them both. “It’s cute. Romantic.”

“Well,” Ana rubs her warming cheek briefly. “It’s true. Anyway, because of all that this new feeling is foreign to me. It makes my empathy feel off at times.”

“Do you feel like it affects you in any way? Physically? Emotionally?”

“No, that’s the thing. If it’s a darker energy or feeling, it normally would affect me. This is just, there. It fades in and out, but it’s there.” She bites her lips nervously, rubbing her fingers over her collarbones. “What do you think?”

Steve doesn’t answer immediately. He’s pensive, blue eye appraising her. Ana fiddles with her rings again, waiting for a response and hoping she doesn’t sound crazy. She had an almost identically feeling way back at the compound when they still lived there. It kept building and building until it exploded into the fallout that ultimately led her and Bucky being separate for nearly a year. Before she can give her herself a panic attack, Steve finally speaks.

“You’ve been getting stronger over time,” He states, voice low as he thinks. “I think the more you were opening yourself up to Bucky at the time, the stronger you became. It wasn’t just him though, your abilities grew, what you did to Woods-“ He stops short, shaking his head. “We never truly trained with you or got see how far your abilities developed. Maybe now, with how your life is, a constant source of happiness, of peace, comfort, it’s a safe place to not hold back. You can use your powers without resistance.”

Taking her own time to process his words, Ana carefully twists the rings on her middle fingers. The thin sheen of the energy shield encases her body like another layer of skin. She holds her hands out in front of her, twisting around to see the shield shimmer. It even looks brighter, or maybe it’s just the sun reflecting off it.

“Do you and Shuri run tests with that?” Steve asks, leaning as close as he can without touching. “Because the last time I saw you use these, it wasn’t this visible. Although, it was through a video screen.”

“We run tests bi-weekly,” She informs him, twisting the rings off. “I don’t think much has changed though.”

“Does it feel like a threat?”

“N-“ She pauses. She doesn’t know why, but the word just died on her tongue. She shakes her head. “No. Not…yet. Do you think it could be? I can feel threats from a distance?”

Steve shrugs as he picks up her hand to examine the ring closer. “We can’t rule out any possibility, right? Wanda grew stronger the more she trained and experimented herself.”

“Yeah, but Steve, if I can actually  _feel_  threats at a great distance…that’s insane! I’m not that strong. That’s something else entirely. Right?”

“Anything is possible, Ana. You know that,” He says softly. Then he taps her wedding rings. “Have you talked to Bucky about this?”

Ana frowns. “No. I don’t want him worrying over something that could be, well, could be nothing. It didn’t feel pressing and honestly, I would forget until I felt it again.”

“This isn’t me teasing you again, but are you sure you’re not pregnant? Maybe that could throw it off as well?”

“I am one hundred percent sure, but that would be a good theory. The alchemy is off when I get sick too.”

“Were you sick recently?”

“No, just emotional with…” She trails off, shrugging.

“Yeah,” Steve drops her hand, crossing his arms and dropping his head. “I really am sorry, Ana. Going off the grid like that. It wasn’t fair to both of you. Either was lying to you.”

“Steve,” Ana places her hands on his solid biceps. “I shouldn’t have gotten as angry as I did. As long as you’re all safe.”

“We are. Now we are. There were some serious injuries-“

“Colonel Rhodes,” She nods solemnly.

“How is he?” The concern in Steve’s voice is thick.

“Tony made advances orthotics for him. After some intense therapy, he’s walking fairly well with it. He’s okay. He keeps telling Tony he didn’t blame anyone, but he stands by what he believes.”

“Sounds just like him.”

“Yeah, just like someone else I know,” She smiles pointedly at him.

Silence settles between them, with the colorful arrays of the setting sun on the horizon. Ana gets lost in her thoughts, as she assumes Steve does too, with the looming caress of that strange energy. She will talk it over with Bucky later, but for now, she just pushes it aside once more. She taps her friends’ elbow, jerking her head to the side.

“C’mon, it’s just another ten minutes from here.”

***

Weeks and months pass, and in between it, Ana visits New York and even California a few times. She keeps under the radar, especially when Bucky goes with her to see Pepper and Tony. The issues of the Accords and Avengers aren’t brought up, but she can tell it’s taken a bit of a toll on Tony.

Ana distracts him by showing off her rings, although she keeps the technology behind it a secret. Bucky distracts Tony with his vibranium arm as the genius himself marvels at the teenager’s piece. She takes great enjoyment when she watches Tony try to figure out the inner workings of the arm.

Ana and Bucky go from deeply in love newlyweds, to deeply in love established marriage as the year passes. The strange feeling of that particular energy still whispers up her spine once in a while, and when she did tell Bucky, he convinced her to report it to T’Challa and Shuri if it ever grew stronger. Reassured her that he wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her, even if that means unknown, seemingly harmless negative energy. Both agree to monitor it, just in case, writing down when Ana feels it ad if Bucky can see a change in her.

She continues to work in the lab as Bucky works on the farm and helps the village people with manual labor tasks. Nothing grows or changes with the feeling, and they focus more on each other, their lives together, and the little stray [Black-Footed](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fc1.staticflickr.com%2F1%2F116%2F260095916_838a749a89_b.jpg&t=NzM2MzU5MTdhNTcxNDRlZGI2N2NmYWQ1ZWRjM2YwNzk2MzE5MDY5ZixrQU1zOXpBVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3APPrTtMeDPe5U0AJs9WKDBg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwonderlandmind4.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F182298780762%2Fdelicate-stages-drabbles-15&m=1) cat that had wondered into their hut one night with an injured leg. The cat stuck around after they nursed back to health, seeming to enjoy chasing the goats around.

“How about Eliza?” Ana offers as the small cat pounces on the large goat.

“For a cat?”

“Hey, Ezra was named after a poet- “

“Ezra is a lazy domestic cat. Not a wild and free creature like this spitfire.”

“Fine. Then I’m naming her Cat like I mentioned the first time. That way, she technically has a name, but she technically doesn’t because is she actually a cat. A cat named Cat because she’s a cat.”

“You mind never ceases to amaze me,” Bucky mumbles, as he pulls her in by her waist.

“You love me for it,” Ana teases, brushing her nose against his.

“Every day for the rest of my life, Annie Doll.”

Then he kisses her with a searing passion, and they leave the cat name Cat to lay with the goats as the disappear inside the hut.

***

They visit again during the holidays, staying in a [cabin](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn1.vox-cdn.com%2Fuploads%2Fchorus_asset%2Ffile%2F7785453%2F21a05c1b5a3bcd4a7ee3b84f4ba84e74.jpg&t=NzkwM2QyYWE1ZGMxMGFkMjY1NjI0MmI2YmViNWNiZmVhMmUyZmQzYSxrQU1zOXpBVQ%3D%3D&b=t%3APPrTtMeDPe5U0AJs9WKDBg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwonderlandmind4.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F182298780762%2Fdelicate-stages-drabbles-15&m=1) Tony had bought recently and renovated in upstate New York. The surroundings were beautiful, frozen streams and frosted trees, glittering powered snow as flakes whirl through the freezing air.

It’s the first actual Christmas Ana and Bucky have together, and she knows, she  _feels_ , how much Bucky seems to dislike the winter. The cold. He’s had enough of it in his life. She makes it her mission to show him that the bitter cold and wet snow don’t always have to be negative or tied to Hydra memories.

She thinks she makes progress when she nails Bucky in the back with a perfectly made snowball. She hides behind a tree, barely has time to take a breath before her husband finds her, wrapping his arms around her waist and tumbling onto the snowy ground.

They laugh breathlessly, as she takes a handful of snow and smashes it against his head. Bucky retaliates by attacking her lips, the kiss passionate and heated enough to melt the flakes around them. Until he sneakily presses snow against her neck. Ana squeals from the ice, making him roll over. She stands up, then proceeds to ran away from him.

When Bucky catches her once more, his blue eyes reflect the glimmer of the snow crystals against the light. He looks happy, playful, any signs of lingering, horrible memories gone. And when they go inside to warm up and dry off, something shifts between them.

They snuggle up in front of the cozy, cackling fire in the living room, with thick fuzzy blankets and hot chocolate. There’s a tall Christmas tree in the corner, twinkling with different colored lights, the branches making the room smell of balsam. Pepper is in the kitchen, quietly making dinner as Tony pretends to help her. Ana is pressed against Bucky’s side, both watching the snow falling through the large windows. Then he speaks.

“This place is beautiful,” He says softly. “Would be a nice place to bring a family to for the holidays.”

Ana is glad she just finished taking another sip of her hot chocolate. She carefully places the mug down, tilting her head to see his eyes. He’s staring straight at the fireplace. She smiles, then kisses his scruffy jaw.

“A family, huh?” She confirms, her heart fluttering in her chest at the thought.

Bucky’s soft chuckle makes her heart flutter. “Yeah, whenever those two decide to have kids.” There’s a short pause. “Or us.”

“Is that your way of saying something, Winter Flurry?”

She feels his chest rise and fall with a slow breath. “Yes.”

“You want to start a family?” Ana questions seriously, sitting up a little straighter.

He slowly meets her eyes. “Someday. I think,” He exhales shakily, wringing his hands together. “I won’t lie, Annie. I have some self-doubts about it, fears, but,” he pauses to look at her. “We’ll do it together. Obviously.”

Ana laughs. “Obviously,” She takes his hands, lacing their fingers together. “One day. A family. You’ll be an amazing father, just so you know.”

Bucky softly kisses her nose as she scrunches it up.

“I’m good with just you right now though,” She whispers when he pulls back.

“Me too, love.”

She closes the space between them, pressing her lips to her husband’s warm, slightly chapped ones. She feels every ounce of his excitement and fear, but overall, love. They both know they just want to spend time being married, there is no rush for them to have children, and they’re willing to wait for it. For now, they snuggle closer together, listening to the cackling fire, the soft voices in the kitchen and the snowfall outside.

*****************************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and being patient with me! <3


	16. One Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language. Mentions of death. Fluff. Implied Smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to explain the timeline of this story from the first Delicate Stages to this Drabble chapter. For the sake of this verse’s timeline, I pushed the events of Civil War back a year, and the events of Infinity War will take place in July 2018.
> 
> -Delicate Stages take place between March 2015 (just after Bucky’s March 10th birthday) and goes until the beginning Nov 2015 (before Ana’s birthday in Nov.) It spans 9 months.  
> -10 months pass while Bucky is healing in Wakanda. Nov 2015-August 2016. Ana moves to Wakanda in August.  
> -Tony and Pepper are in married November 2016  
> -Bucky purposes in Dec 2016. (They obviously don't wait long to get married)  
> -Ana and Bucky are married in Spring, April 27th 2017.  
> -3 moths pass before Ana finds out about the Avengers break up- July 2017  
> -Steve’s most recent visit while he’s on the run is August 2017  
> Drabble 15 ended in December 2017.  
> -April 27th 2018- One year wedding anniversary of Bucky and Ana. Currently.

 

Just a few days after the New Year, when they arrive back in Wakanda, Bucky gets a call from Steve. Ana was the one to answer it, resting her head in his lap as they watched a movie in their apartment. Steve’s steely yet gleeful expression morphs into something more pleasant when he sees her. The look was one to rival his own. It throws up a caution flag for Bucky.

“Well, damn, Cap,” Ana greet, holding the display screen above her face. “Life as a fugitive that rough, huh?”

“I wasn’t expecting-“ He shakes his head, eyes searching. “Is Buck around?”

“What? You don’t want to talk to my pretty face? I see. Being on the run has made you cold.”

Bucky pokes her nose. “Be nice, you menace. It’s not his fault all his see is moldy motel rooms, and Wilson’s face.”

Ana beams up a him, sitting up and handing him the phone. She tells him she’s going to make hot chocolate, then pops up from the couch, leaving him and Steve to chat. He hears her muttering about missing Sam and the others.

“What’s up, Stevie?” Bucky asks quietly, eyes flicking to Ana.

“I have some news,” He informs him in a near whisper.

He quirks an eyebrow.

“Eric Woods-“

Bucky’s spine involuntarily goes rigid. Anger curls in his chest, the images of what that man did to his Annie still haunts his dreams. Before he can panic, Steve goes on.

“-Is dead. He died in his medical cell block. They said,” He frowns briefly, a troubled look darkens his expression. “Said it was like his energy just faded out. Drained from his body.”

“What?” Bucky breathes out, aghast.

A clutter from the kitchen snaps his attention to Ana. She had dropped an empty mug on the counter, thankfully not broken. She blinks at him, then rushes back to the couch, pressing into Bucky’s side as she sits.

“Say that again,” She demands breathlessly.

Steve’s jaw twitches, as if he didn’t want her to know in the first place. “Woods died. Life energy just faded out.”

Bucky eyes his wife cautiously as she turns away from the screen. She presses a hand over her mouth, her shoulders beginning to shake. Shit, he knew if this came ever up that Ana would be this upset. Bringing up the person brings back those traumatic memories of the day. She nearly died that day.

Suddenly, she releases a strange mixture of noise. It’s then Bucky realizes he doesn’t feel upset, which means she isn’t feel upset. Instead, the noise that came from her mouth was suspiciously close to a cackle.

“Call you back,” Bucky rushes out, ending the call. He drops the phone on the table. “Ana?”

She turns to face him, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. It lasts for a nanosecond, then she’s laughing.  _She laughing_. High pitched, on the verge of hysterical. She nearly falls over because she’s cackling so hard. Bucky steadies her, completely bewildered.

“S-sor-sorry!” Ana chortles, dropping her head back and covering her mouth. “Oh, my god!” She laughs harder, now leaning forward.

Bucky just keeps her from slamming her head on the coffee table. “Annie…”

She waves her hand in the air. “S-sorry! I can’t-I-“

She can’t even finish a proper sentence. A good five minutes pass before she finally calms down, Bucky rather concerned for her well-being. He brushes the stray hairs from her braid aside, meeting her eyes. They’re a little wet from her laughter, but he sees the storm brewing under the surface.

“Finished?” Bucky questions kindly.

Ana nods, pressing her hand over her mouth again. “Fuck,” She mutters. “Bucky, I-“

“Hey, darln’, it’s alright. Process it how you need to.”

She shakes her head, dropping her hand. “I’m so fucking relieved. I can’t even…fuck. I mean, I should be really upset right? I should feel bad? I essentially…”

“The fading energy was just the life leaving him. Not a direct result to you, Ana,” He informs her.

“You’re wrong. It is. It is directly my fault. I put him in that cell. I was the one to drain his energy. I nearly killed him that day. I should feel bad that someone’s death is on my hand. But. Bucky. I don’t. I don’t feel bad at all!”

She laughs again, this time, the sound is strangled. “I have absolutely no regrets doing it! Not when he drugged us, triggered you, nearly forced you to kill me. Not even he blew your fucking arm off, almost killed you. Almost killed me! All because he had this twisted need to get you back and gain me! Instead, he didn’t die right away. He’s survived this long without any threats besides what I did..”

“Actually,” Bucky confesses quietly, lacing their fingers together. “I threatened him before I came to Wakanda.”

“What?”

“I begged Steve to take me to him. I was livid, Ana. I saw red every single time I thought about it. You’re right. He nearly killed you, almost stole you away from me. I saw you every day for two weeks in that fucking coma. Motionless, needing a machine to keep you breathing. Wires and needles and…you looked broken. You were so…fuck!”

“Bucky,” Ana murmurs, placing her hand on his cheek. “Honey, I’m right here now. I’m okay.”

“But you weren’t then. You still weren’t even when you showed up here and you have bullet scars on your skin that shouldn’t be there. You have a new knee because he tore yours up! I-“

He breaks out, inhaling deeply to calm his raging emotions. The Winter Soldier is gone, but he strangely feels close to being triggered. He feels the tickle of warmth spreading through his veins, knowing it’s Ana attempting to sooth him just a little.

“I had to see him,” He confesses, voice steady now. “I turned off his oxygen. I wanted to see him suffer like you had. I wanted to see him on the verge of death, and for a moment, Ana. I didn’t think I would turn it back on.”

He allows his eyes to close, reveling in the feel of his wife’s thumb rubbing over his beard. “But I did, because I was a better man. I wanted to be a better than for you. I didn’t kill him that day. I could have. I wanted to. But I didn’t.”

“I kind of wish you had.”

His eyes snap open, staring into Ana’s. They’re dark with the haunted memories of what Woods did to them. Dark with the exact place Bucky knows people’s mind go to in situations like these. Ana shouldn’t taint herself with this kind of darkness.

He takes her hand off his face, squeezing her fingers. “No, you don’t, sweetheart, but that’s alright.”

She nods. “Doesn’t mean I feel bad he’s gone.”

“That’s okay too.”

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I sound a bit morbid right now. These thoughts are dark, scary.”

“It’s what makes you human, yeah? Isn’t that you’ve been telling me all this time?”

This time when she laughs, it’s soft, light, as she drops her head against his shoulder.

“It’s okay to think those thoughts, Ana. They’re completely warranted. Trust me, you’ve no idea the thoughts I had when I walked into that cell. Or when I wanted to hunt down every single Hydra agent for what they did to me.”

“Thank you,” She murmurs, “for understanding.”

He squeezes her hand three times but reminds her away. “I love you.”

“Love you too. Do you think Steve will be upset with me because I laughed?”

“I think you’re forgetting who Steve is, darlin’. As if that little punk didn’t want revenge on that prick either. If he didn’t understand why I needed to do that, he wouldn’t have drove me in the first place.”

“Let’s call him back soon. Don’t want to worry him.”

Bucky kisses her head gently, holding her tight. “Whenever you want, Annie.”

“I love you so much. I’m glad I married you.”

He laughs as she picks her head up, joining in with a much softer tone.

*****

At the end of February, Ana has an interesting chat with Pepper. She hadn’t mentioned it to Bucky yet, but as they sit by the lake leaning against the tree, she decides to bring it up. Bucky has his head on her lap, his eyes close as he breathes deeply, a peaceful content expression on his face. He’s wearing her favorite outfit on him; the long red and black tunic exposing his right arm, with the soft blue wrap tied across his left side.

Ana has opted to wear a long, flowy dress made for her by the grandmother of the village. It was a simple, yet beautiful hand-woven piece, stitched with traditional patterns against the blue color. She has been slowly brushing her fingers through his hair, watching the children run around with the goats and play with Cat. Some of the village people wave to her when they catch her eye, giving the married couple fond looks.

“Pepper called the other day,” Ana states casually, keeping her voice low to not disturb the peace around him.

Bucky hums his response with a deep sigh. He’s always lulled into a state of serenity when she plays with his hair. Ana chuckles, tapping his forehead then gliding her fingers over his thick beard. She swipes her thumb over his slightly chapped lips. He kisses his finger a moment later.

“Whassh’say?” He barely mumbles. He lazily lifts hand to gently wrap his fingers around her wrists, just to hold.

“She, uh,” She clears her throat, feeling Bucky tense up just a little. “She kind of…I think she wants us to move back. To the States. She asked if we- if we would move back once we started a family.”

He eyes blink open, staring straight up at her. He pauses. “What did you tell her?”

“I said I wasn’t sure. We haven’t really discussed it, let alone thought about it.”

Bucky sits up, shifting to face her. His eyes assess her expression. “Do you want to?”

She shrugs. “Like I said, we haven’t really talked about it. I think Pepper gets a little lonely when Tony leaves for those stupid missions the Accords make him go on. I think she would love to be around family when and if they start one too.”

Bucky nods in understanding, his eyes drifting off with thought.

“Bucky,” Ana shakes her head, tapping his chest. “You absolutely love it here. You  _adore_  Wakandan tech, you love this farm, the animals, the people here. You found peace here. I could never ask you to leave something- a place like this.”

“I asked you to stay with me,” Bucky mutters in response. A strange wave of guilt taints the air between them. “You left a life behind. You left Pepper, your friends, everyone. Because I selfishly wanted you to stay with me.”

“Hey, honey,” She gently cups his cheeks, making him look at her. “No, don’t ever feel guilty for that. Ever. I didn’t leave a life behind, Bucky. My life was with you. My life  _is_  with you. I wasn’t- I didn’t,” She sighs. “I know Steve told you all the unpleasant details about how I handled your absence.”

He nods in confirmation.

“I was a mess. I couldn’t get out of bed some days, and when I did, I just worked nonstop. I wanted to stay with you. You know that, Buck.”

“I know. I do. All I’m saying is,” He pauses to take her left hand, lacing their fingers together. “If you asked me to do anything, I’ll say yes. I’ll go with you wherever, it doesn’t matter if we stay here, or move to Belize. You’re my wife, Ana. You are my entire world, and my home is you.”

A swell of emotions whirls chaotically in her chest, her skin tingling with the strong and positive energy Bucky is giving out. Ana smiles sweetly at him, squeezing his hand as she leans in to kiss him. She moves her left hand over his chest, just feeling his steady heartbeat.

“We can talk about it more later,” Ana tells him after they break apart. “I just wanted to let you know. In case Tony calls demanding arm-wrestling matches every Wednesday or something.”

Bucky chuckles. “I would totally win.”

“Of course, you would,” She scoffs. “Shuri wouldn’t build you an arm that would lose at such a game.”

He presses a short but sweet kiss to her lips. “Damn straight. So, talk about it later?”

“Yes. Now, lay back down, I want to braid your hair.”

“As you wish.”

Ana would roll her eyes at another reference Bucky has grown fond of since they watched The Princess Bride the other night, but that one makes her heart melt. She still doesn’t know how it’s possible to continue to fall even deeper in love with Bucky. But she does every day.

The serene moment is suddenly tainted with the same strange feeling of energy racing up Ana’s spine. She looks up at the sky as if it would give her answers. The feeling passes, but as Bucky speaks up again.

“What if I start calling you, Buttercup?”

“Go to sleep, Winter Snowflake,” She chuckles, gently tug the braid.

*

**March 17th th 2018**

When Bucky enters the huts after a long day working the farm, it’s empty. Which is strange, since Ana said she was going there to rest after she played with most of the children. Bucky had glanced up every now and then, Ana was either running around being chased or throwing smaller kids up into the air.

He’s not worried, Wakanda is a safe place with an amazing safe guard around the country. He does wonder, as he begins to pack up and head towards the apartment, if she went to visit M’baku. Or if Shuri called her up to the lab, or if she’s video chatting with Pepper, since it’s been a while.

Bucky arrives at their home, it too is vacant. He shrugs and goes about taking a shower since it’s been at least two days without a real one. He opts to just rinse in the lake of the natural springs when he’s out on the field. Maybe when Ana gets back, he can convince her to take one together later to take. Head over to that one private hot spring high in minerals and surrounded by wild flowers. One of the medical scientists was telling Bucky the benefits of what the spring would do for Ana; physically and energy wise.

He washes his hair and beard thoroughly and scrubs every ounce of dirt or grime off his body. It had been a bit hard the first few days without his arm, but after months of it, Bucky has gotten a routine down. He turns off the shower, grabbing a towel to dry himself the best he can before wrapping it around his hair.

He catches himself in the foggy mirror, noticing the fading bruises along his hipbones and thighs. He smiles at the memory of last night, Ana spending extra time on those areas, before she made him come undone within seconds. He wishes they could last longer than they do, but then again, his accelerated healing propels Ana to kiss and bite and suck all over again.

Bucky squeezes all the water he can out of his hair before fluffing it with the towel, then he opens the door. He’s met with the sight of Ana in their bed, curled up under the covers. Her back is facing him, but Bucky immediately knows something is wrong. He drops the towel to the floor, making his way around the bed so she doesn’t have to move.

Her eyes are closed but her brows are furrowed together and there’s a horrible pout on her lips. He can’t see her arms and he wonders if they’re wrapped around her body trying to ease whatever is hurting her.

“Ana, what’s wrong? What happened?” Bucky questions quietly but urgently. He places his palm against her forehead. He frowns, because her skin seems to be the same temperature as his.

She groans, pulling herself tighter into a ball. When she opens her eyes, the usual glitter of the golden dots is dull with pain. Bucky internally begins to panic, and she must feel it, because she lifts her head a few inches.

“I’m fine, Bucky, I swear.” Ana reassures quickly. Then she drops her head back down.

“Then was is it? You feel warm, are you sick?” Now he’s concerned. Maybe he should reattach his arm so he has something cool to offer her. He hopes his wedding ring on his finger will be enough.

“I wanted to surprise you. But I forgot how much this shit hurts.”

Okay, now he’s confused. He doesn’t want any surprise if it makes his wife hurt like this. “What are you talking about, baby?”

Ana shifts, pulling her arm out from under the covers. It looks like it causes her discomfort, so Bucky helps her, taking the small black box from her hand. He doesn’t say anything as he opens it, but his confusion amplifies. Laying in the box is a little white T-shape piece of what looks like plastic, with copper wrapped around the stem. There’s a long string connected to the bottom of the device, and Bucky just looks back at Ana.

Her eyes remained open however the pout is still there. Bucky doesn’t tell her that it’s endearing.

“Don’t worry. It’s thoroughly cleaned, like five times before I put it in there,” Ana explains. “It’s my IUD. Happy birthday!” She cheers weakly. “Sorry I’m feeling crappy to really celebrate. Maybe I should’ve waited.”

“Wait. What?” Bucky glances back at the box, the back to his wife. “Your…IUD?”

Ana nods and smiles, despite herself.

“Your IUD. As in…as in your birth control?” Bucky questions slowly as he begins to put it together.

“Yes.”

“Your IUD in right here and not…” Bucky blinks and nearly falls back on his ass. “Holy shit.”

“Happy belated birthday, Winter Bunny,” Ana says again, wincing.

He’s speechless for a minute. He carefully closes the box and places it on the bedside table in shock. He moves onto the bed, sitting on the side. He makes eye contact with his wife again.

“Are you saying..” He swallows because all his emotions are starting to catch up to what this means. “You want to have a baby? You want to start a family? Now?”

“Not right at this particular moment.” She quips, her voice sounds strained. “But yes. I want to start our family, if that’s alright.”

Ana is in pain, in major discomfort and Bucky wants to soothe her, to make her feel better and help ease her pain. But, he can’t right now because abruptly he’s overcome with emotion. His eyes sting and he drops his face into his hand, trying to cover himself. Yes, they’ve talked about it, mentioned it before but this. This is real.

Suddenly, the tears escape him. He’s crying because this is the most amazing thing he could have gotten. Because this is something he never thought he would have. This is something he thought he never deserved, and he came to accept his fate.

“Oh, Bucky,” Ana coos from behind him. 

He feels her hand running up and down his spine as she shifts. He feels her rest her head against the back of his shoulder and kisses his skin. Feels her energy slowly convincing that it’s a positive thing.

“This-“ Bucky inhales deeply, trying to control his emotions. “This is the greatest- fuck. I can’t speak.”

“Shhh,” Ana breaths against his skin. “Take your time, it’s okay.”

He does. He takes the time to process it, to work through what this means. Ana wants to have a baby with him. Ana wants to start a family with him. His wife wants to have his baby, and Bucky just cries.

He cries because he’s so happy. He cries because he’s terrified. He has gotten another chance at life and love and a family and that’s all he’s ever wanted. He cries because he gets to have it all with the woman his in completely in love with. With the woman he calls his wife, partner, soulmate. He cries because he gets to start a family with Ana.

Bucky twists and wraps his arm around her back, then tackles her to the bed.

“I love you,” Bucky cries into her hair. “I fucking love you so much, Annie.”

“Motherfucker!” Ana hisses.

Bucky quickly pulls away because he completely forgot her discomfort. “Shit! I’m so sorry!”

She scoffs, then wipes his tears from his cheeks. “It’s completely worth it to see you this happy. This is happy right?”

“So fucking happy, Annie doll. You have no idea. Fucking terrified, but so incredibly happy!”

Ana brings his face down to softly kisses his lips. 

“Is that where you were?” Bucky asks after he pulls away. He helps her readjust. “Getting it removed? Is this why you’re hurting?”

“Yeah,” She sighs, curling up again but resting her head on his bare thigh. “You’ve been naked this whole time, you know that right?”

“I was worried about you,” He chuckles, weaving his fingers into her hair and gently scratching her scalp. “Like you don’t love it anyway.”

“True.” Ana hums, turning her head to give him a cheeky kiss to the base of his cock. Bucky jumps, the laughs with her. 

“Will you alright though?”

“In a day or two. It hurts like a bitch getting it in and it just taking it out but not as long. It’s just really bad cramps. Like…like you know those instruments the children play with on the drums? It’s like those but with spike and against my uterus instead.”

Bucky winces in sympathy. “I’m sorry you’re feeling like that, sweetheart. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No, don’t worry about it, hubby,” Ana smiles.

Bucky’s heart always swells when she calls him that. He calls her spouse once in a while because he likes the name.

“I just need to lay here for a bit until the worse of it passes,” She continues. “I should’ve done this on your actual birthday though. Sorry it’s late.”.”

“Annie Doll,” Bucky leans over her. “You’ve just given me the greatest gift ever, well, besides an actual baby. Please don’t fret over feeling shitty because it’s late. I would just love to take care of my wife.”

She hums in content. They spend the next few hours napping in bed, Bucky cuddling close to her back, and smiling in to her hair.

*

**April 27 th 2018:**

Ana must be careful. She has to make sure her footsteps are light, has to slow down her breathing, eliminate any extra noise as she pokes her head around the corner. Ah ha. She spots her target as she slowly slips around the corner. She gently lifts and replaces her foot down to take a big step, trying to keep the element of surprise.

“I can hear your heartbeat, doll face. Nice try,” Bucky announces casually.

Ana frowns, her shoulders dropping at her failed attempted to surprise her husband. However, she did just catch him red handed, bare chested in the kitchen with the freezer door wide open. Bucky hates the cold, but sometimes she sees him standing in the kitchen next to the refrigerator in their apartment. She asked him about it once, and all he said, with a shrug, was that sometimes the ice was a solace for him. She mainly sees this act after Bucky has had a nightmare, which are rare occurrences now, but they still plague him.

“I caught you red-handed, Barnes!” Ana exclaims, pointing her finger at him.

Bucky turns, leaning against the counter, a knife in his right hand. He has been forgoing his vibranium arm most days now, especially after he accidently clipped Cat one night. Despite Cat being a wild feline, she was still rather small and happened to make the most horrible noise when Bucky’s elbow connected with his side. He felt so horrible afterwards, trying to see if he seriously injured the cat, but she refused to go near him for days. He had felt so guilty that he had hurt something so little. Ana said Cat was being dramatic and pounced on bugs the next day. Still, Bucky hasn’t worn his arm in months.

He skillfully twirls the dull butter knife between his fingers, a wicked spreading across his lips. “You haven’t caught me doing anything,  _Barnes_.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Ana walks closer, hip checking him to the side. “And I suppose the cake just magically landed on the counter?”

She feels Bucky brush her hair aside with the knife, the cold blunt side grazing across her skin. The lingering touch of metal is replaced by her husband’s warm lips. Ana tries not to react to his antic as he trails his mouth from the back of her neck up to her ear.

“Didn’t think knife play was your thing,” She quips, earning a dark chuckle from him. “This little distraction doesn’t work anymore, Snowflake.”

“Lies, Annie,” He murmurs against her skin, teeth grazing her ear. “We both know how skilled I am.”

She shivers and can feel Bucky’s triumphant grin. She pulls herself together, spinning around. “You were about to cut into the cake too early.”

Bucky cages her against the counter, dropping the non-threating knife on the surface. “Hmmm,” He hums, kissing her nose. “I was waiting for you,” He pecks her cheek. “But you definitely taste better than cake,” He nips at the joint of her jaw.

Ana can’t resist anymore, placing her hands on his low back, pulling him closer. “Shall we put that to the test?” She teases, dropping her hands to his ass and groping firmly.

“Шалунья,” He growls before connecting their lips in a searing kiss. “You’ve been insatiable lately,” He mumbles against her mouth.

“Not true,” Ana winks after she pulls away. “I just can’t ever get enough of my husband.”

“As if I could ever resist my wife. Gorgeous, sweet creature as you are.”

“Are you going to continue to be sappy or can we eat the cake now?”

Bucky laughs heartily, his hand resting on her side with his thumb drawing circles on her skin. He brushes over a ticklish spot on her stomach and she squirms away, a small squeak escaping her mouth. She takes his hand off her skin, bringing it up to kiss his knuckles.

“I really was waiting for you, I just thought I’d thaw it a bit,” Bucky explains as Ana grabs the knife. “Wouldn’t want to cut into it without you.”

“Uh-huh,” Ana quickly pecks his lips before she spins, her back to his board chest. She carefully cuts into the cake.

She has to use a little more force, considering the middle didn’t thaw out all the way. Although, it has been frozen for a year, keeping the tradition of freezing the top tier of their wedding cake. Well, the only tier since they had cupcakes too. She doesn’t even bother with forks, just grabs a cool piece of the chocolate, Nutella buttercream frosted cake. Bucky copies her, carefully holding his piece so crumbs don’t fall to the floor.

When Ana turns back around, the love and adoration shinning in Bucky’s eyes takes her breath away. As the look in his incredible blue eyes always do. She lets her empathetic  walls down, watching carefully as his eyelashes flutter from the sensations of her feelings. Ana feels warmth spreading throughout her veins in return, reveling in the connection they have. He presses his forehead against hers, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

“Happy anniversary, Mrs. Barnes,” Bucky says softly, staring into her eyes.

“Happy anniversary, dear my husband,” She replies, just as soft.

Then, she promptly shoves her piece of cake against his mouth, smearing cold frosting all over his lips. She cackles as he leans back, blinking in shock, before he narrows his eyes at her. He tries to retaliate, but she’s ready for the cake, and opens her mouth. She chews it happily, before Bucky smushes his crumb and frosted covered lips against her cheek.

They end up wearing most of the cake than eating it. It ends with Ana’s back pressed to the kitchen table, wrapped around Bucky as he shows her just how lucky, just how much her loves her to this very day. Bucky worships her body with his lips, his beard tickling over the soft skin of her stomach, her hips, her scars. He spends most time around her naval, trailing his lips around her belly button and over the scar on her stomach from the bullet wound two years ago.

She returns the feelings when she straddles him on the couch, whispering into each other’s sticky, sweaty skin. She revels in the feeling of their energies connecting each time they make love. Loves how she can feel every one of his emotions, the ones that only grow deeper with each passing day.

Her favorite feeling however, even after a year later, is the cool touch of their wedding rings against their skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> There's more to come! And if you think I'm bidding my time until End Game comes out.....you are correct.


	17. Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language. Fluff. Light smut. Implied smut. Sad tones. A shower scene. The beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. So. Here it is….the beginning of the end…game….

“You what now?” Bucky asks for the third time, scratching his head in bemusement, staring at the box in his hand.

Ana cackles from the bathroom, opening the door. “Read the instructions. I’m not explaining it again.”

Bucky has reread the instructions five times. “So, you pee on a stick and it’s supposed to tell you if you’re pregnant or not? That doesn’t seem reliable.”

“It can be and can not be, but it’s one way to find out. The test nowadays are more accurate. There’s a blood test too, but I hate needles.”

Bucky hums in agreement. “Still fucking weird.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Ana tells him fondly after she washed her hands. She places a gentle kiss to his jaw, snatching the box out of his hand.

“Has it been two minutes yet?” He questions eagerly.

“No, and don’t get too excited, Snowflake. Sometimes it doesn’t happen right away. It’s about timing and cycles and-“

Bucky kisses her lips. “We can keep trying, I have no qualms about that.”

She tugs his hair. “You wouldn’t,” She deepens the kiss, molding her lips against his.

They continue kissing until a timer goes off on her phone. Ana breaks out of Bucky’s hold, disappearing into the bathroom, before reappearing with the white stick in her hand. She meets his eyes and he stands next to her, peering down at it. Her hand is covering the result screen.

“Ready?” She sounds nervous.

Bucky kisses her temple before nodding. He wraps his fingers around her wrist as she removes her other hand. There’s no mistaking the clear result displayed on the strange stick. His eyes slide to his wife, who hasn’t reacted at all. There’s a beat of silence. Then-

“Oh well,” Ana shrugs nonchalantly, throwing the stick into the trashcan by the bed. “Next time.”

“Annie,” Bucky whispers. He belatedly realizes he feels disappointed.

Ana wraps her arms around his middle, pressing her face into his bare chest. She tenderly kisses his scars. “You okay?”

“Are you?” He cups the back of her head with his palm, wishing he had his left arm to hold her tighter.

“I’m fine. You sound upset.”

“Not upset, darlin’.”

He feels her nod, but her shoulders tremble slightly. The pads of her fingers dig into the skin of his back. He can feel her energy clouding over, as if she failed him.

“Hey, hey,” Bucky coos, sliding his hand over to cup her jaw and guide her face up. She doesn’t meet his gaze. “Annie Doll, hey. Look at me, sweetheart.”

When she does, there’s an unsettling amount of anxiety in her pretty eyes. She’s biting her bottom lip, so Bucky gently tugs it free with his thumb, before soothing it over with his finger.

“It’s okay,” He reassure gently. “I promise. Like you said, it doesn’t always happen right away. We can keep trying, yeah?” He grazes his nose with her until she’s smiling. “Maybe take one more test?”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” She sighs with relief.

“I love you.”

Ana responds with a light kiss to his lights, her hand trailing up his back to cup his neck. He kisses her three times in quick recession.

“I love you, too.”

They fall quiet as they stand there in each other’s arms, foreheads pressed together.

“Pizza?” Bucky offers brightly.

“Yes!” Ana pulls back, rushing out of the room.

He laughs after his wife, still endeared by everything she does.

After the pizza is gone, just two crusts left over, they lounge on the couch watching a movie. Ana has her knees over Bucky’s lap, his right thumb drawing soothing circles over the faint scars in her knee.

“I just thought…” Ana begins softly, her tone somber. She huffs, meeting his eyes. “I just thought with that feeling…”

“Because it got stronger?” Bucky finishes for her.

“Yeah,” She absentmindedly places her hands over her stomach and chest. “I felt it up my spine, then my stomach. In my core, Bucky. The same feeling but, stronger.”

“It’s been happening more frequently right?”

She nods. “Should I call, Steve? Tony even?”

“Possibly. Just promise me you’ll let me know if it starts affecting you physically.”

“Promise. Can you hand me the fluffy crust, please?”

Bucky takes a bite out of it to get a reaction. He does, a bright one, resulting with her on top of him fighting for her crust. It ends with the crust forgotten and another attempt of trying again.

***

Ana is sitting at her desk in the Lab, taking notes on her psychological Energy theory, when she suddenly stops and straightens up. A surge of prickling energy shot down her spine, causing her to glance over her shoulder, seeing nothing but empty space. Strange, since it felt like someone was standing behind her. The feeling was stronger than the others she felt before, so she grabs her notebook and writes it down.

She tracks down Shuri and together they find her brother. They talk about the possibilities of the feeling, of what it could mean.

“Do you feel as if it’s a probable threat to Wakanda?” T’Challa inquires gently.

Contemplating, Ana chooses her words carefully. “Not exactly. Sometimes it feels more internal, other times it feels like…as if…a storm is coming. Over the world.”

Ana breaks out into a laugh after a long stretch of silence. “I sound ridiculous.”

“Not necessarily,” The King assures her. “There was mention of this similar situation before with you, yes? With the Avengers.”

“Yes, but that was…” She trails off, remembering all the times at the compound she felt strange. “Yeah. I did feel something was off, and it eventually affected me towards the end there. Again, this sounds a little silly. I know Wakanda safest place to be. Wouldn’t you be able to detect if there was a threat coming?”

“She is correct,” Okoye confirms, shooting the King a meaningful look.

He nods, lost in deep thought. Ana turns her attention to Shuri, who has been working on the rings for the past half hour. Her brows are furrowed in concentration as she tinkers with the jewelry. She’s been silent the entire time.

“Captain Rogers suggested I might be growing stronger in my abilities,” Ana informs them. “Those rings regulate the Alchemy, but they don’t amp it up, nor do they affect the Empathy.”

Shuri hums as a response, finally putting down her tools. “Your abilities are a science, a miracle, but still embedded into your DNA, and science is always growing, always changing. I would not be surprised if it’s attempting to show in different ways. Developing a new ability isn’t far off either.”

She then hops off the stool she was sitting on, grabbing the rings to bring them to Ana. They don’t look any different from when she was first gifted them.

“They’re working perfectly. I did make moderation's to the protective shield this time,” Shuri explains brightly. “It’s still laced with vibranium, still impenetrable, but I added an extra flare of electricity, just in case someone attacks-

“Why the hell does it need an electric field from attacks?” A new voice joins them.

Ana’s somber mode immediately lightens, her heart automatically settling with comfort. She smiles as Bucky walks up to her, shooting Shuri a curious yet, firm glare. Her husband wraps his right arm around her ribs, kissing the back of her head. Ana melts into his solid, warm hold.

“In case she wants to get away from your annoying face,” The princess teases, wiggling a finger at his nose.

“It’s practical,” Okoye chimes in with her usual strict tone. However, Ana sees the playful sparkle in her dark eyes. She swears the general is secretly fond of Bucky and her. “She’s a fighter, this one.”

“There’ll be no fights here, especially not with my Annie,” Bucky growls, nipping at her ear.

Ana laughs. “As if you could stop me from kicking some ass!”

He pauses. “Unfortunately, that is very true.”

“Sergeant Barnes!” Shuri yelps. “Did you come into my lab bare foot!?”

Bucky stiffens. “My shoes were dirty!”

“Get your husband out of my workplace, Ana!”

Bucky is cackling as he ducks behind Ana. Rolling her eyes, she begins to push her childish husband backwards, catching T’Challa’s eye.

“I’ll inform you if the feeling continues to grow stronger,” She promises, the shoves the over-grown child that is her husband out of the Lab.

***

Only two days pass before the feeling does grow stronger. Ana nearly forgets she’s helping Bucky on the farm. She gently coaxes two baby goats towards the giant bucket of water, both kids having found a clay puddle. Their fur is covered in thick, burnt orange clay, beginning to cake on their hairs. She’s in the middle of rinsing off the first goat, when she drops the small pitcher she’s using, standing up. She blinks in a daze, slowly turning to look behind her.

Absentmindedly, she wraps her arms around her torso, pressing her palm against her chest and frowning at the surrounding area. The feeling didn’t just tingle down her spine again, but curled through her stomach, nearly knocked the breath out of her lungs. She tries to shake it off, but her fingertips tingle as if they’re going numb. Weird.

“Ana?” Bucky’s voice snaps her out of her daze. “What is it, darlin’?”

“Hmm?” She blinks slowly, stretching out her fingers. Bucky comes up next to her, brushing away a few stray hairs sticking to her temple. “I…I’m fine. Sorry, I’m good.”

“You sure? You’re-“ He pauses, his fingers hovering along her cheekbone. “-Shimmering again.”

Ana frowns in bemusement. “I’m not upset or anything.”

“Is it that feeling again? It’s been happening more frequently?”

“Yes, but, it was quick. I don’t feel it anymore. I gotta finish bathing these kids.”

Bucky appraises her once more, then nod. “Tell me if it’s worse, Ana.”

Ana huffs, agitated. “It just feels like, as if…I can’t explain it properly. It just feels off. I feel off right now.”

“You let me know if it starts to worse, dangerous.”

Ana nods at him before kissing his bare shoulder, readjusting the dark patterned shawl tied over his left side. She shoots him a smile, then gets back to the goats.

*

The feeling continues over the next two weeks. It nearly made her feel sick a few times, as if it was draining her energy as well. Thankfully, that part only lasted three days. Ana just becomes use to it now, almost ignores it. As if like it’s a layer of thick air covering her skin. At one point, she curiously plays with her Energy rings, wondering if the inactivated rings can still that new layer protection.

What she can’t ignore for much longer is how frustrated it makes her feel. Instead, the energy turns into something Ana thinks she needs to release. As if she needs to run for miles, or box for hours, or…or…

Bucky has been a distraction lately, even when he’s not around. She finds herself missing him whenever she’s in the Lab and he’s staying in the hut. When he gets home to their apartment, Ana pulls him into the shower, trying to disprove that shower sex doesn’t work. She disproves it three times.

Or, Ana will leave the Lab early, sneak onto the farm and view Bucky from the distance. Watching his bicep strain as he lifts and throws hay bales, bags of feed and even more fallen branches around. Watching as his thick muscular thighs and back flexes with strain. Watches when he pushes his long hair back, exposing his strong jaw and thickening beard.

She’ll wait until dark, when the children and families have gone to bed, and they’re both clean from the lake. She pulls him into the hut, and rides him until they’re both seeing stars, and can no longer move, panting into each other’s skin.

At one point, Ana has a long overdue kink talk with him. She had giggled as Bucky’s face turned bright red at one point, clearing his throat and shifting. He had shut off her phone after she showed him some videos, tossing it to the bed.

“Some of those are…strange,” Bucky grumbles, avoiding her eyes. “I don’t think I like those ones.”

Ana kisses his extremely warm cheek. “And you don’t have too,” She chuckles kindly. “Not everything is for everyone. We can stick to the mild things.”

She picks up his hand, resting it gently against the base of her throat. “Like this one,” She says huskily, “that, you’ve done before.”

Bucky lightly squeezing the sides of her neck. Her breath hitches in her throat. She brings her hand up to his hair, digging her fingers in and tugging at the roots. “Or this.”

Bucky’s breath shudders. He nods, then sears his lips to hers, sliding his hand from the front of her neck to the back, pulling her down on top of him. His hand trails down her spine, leaving fire in this wake, and lightly smacks her ass.

“Hmm, that too,” Ana moans into his mouth.

Bucky chuckles, slipping his hand underneath her sleep shorts, grabbing a handful of her ass. “Anything else that turns you on, doll face?”

“F-fuck,” She stutters at the name as Bucky suddenly trails his hand from her ass to her front, dipping his fingers into her wet core.

“Is that what you want, sweetheart?” He teases, his voice reaching that aroused growl, quickly working his fingers. “For me to fuck you nice and hard until you’re coming all over my cock?”

Ana whimpers, her eyes nearly rolling into the back of her head. She places a rather harsh bite on his collarbone.

They don’t really sleep that night until the sun breaks over the horizon. The ominous feeling subsides just a little after that. As if her energy had been seeking out Bucky’s in a more intimate way than before.

**Three months later: July 2018**

Bucky halts his movements, his bicep straining as he holds the bale of hay in the air. Ana had caught his eye as she bent down to gently kiss the elbow of one of the little girls. The child had tripped over a hidden rock and landed on her elbow. Ana was there instantly, picking her up and rocking her, soothing her. She placed the girl down on the hay, quickly running into the hut to get the wrap.

Bucky smiles at his wife, imagining a future with Ana doing this to their child, or children. How she would be a kind, gentle mother, but he also knows she would be firm and protective. His heart swells with the with the idea of it.

Turning, he throws the hay into the pile. He opts for the sacks of grain this time, about to pick a bag up when his chest clenches. He frowns in confusion, until the frantic calls of the children reach his ears. The goats begin to stomp their hooves in distress. Cat stops running around his feet and takes off toward the kids.

“White Wolf! White wolf!”

Spinning quickly, Bucky runs to his wife, who’s bent over and rubbing her chest. She lifts her hand, waving him off, as if that would do anything. She looks a little pale, despite the shimmer of her skin.

“I’m fine, I swear,” Ana pants heavily, arms wrapping around her middle.

Bucky helps her straighten up. “Are you sure? What the hell was that?”

“I’m not sure, just a surge of energy.”

“Should you sit? Take a break or go to the Lab?”

Ana suddenly smiles at him. “Honey, I’m fine, I promise. Go back to you dirtying yourself up.”

“You may want to reassure the kids,” Bucky nods his head towards the children, expressions filled with concern.

“Right. Right.”

Ana pats his chest, giving him one last smile before she gathers the concerned children. They all surround her, hugging her legs and waist. Suddenly they break out into giggles, and the concern they were all feeling has faded away.

Bucky sighs in relief pushing his hair back, then winces. It’s been to long since he’s given it a good wash, and he’s running out of clean clothes he usually wears on the field. Maybe they can have a laundry day later and he can convince Ana that just a slight trim to his hair won’t make much of a difference in length.

He shrugs the thoughts way, then continues to work. He’s cleared one pile of hay, throwing the last bale onto the stack, so he grabs a bag of feed instead. Bucky is halfway through the feed sacks when movement drawls his attention, and the once happy day suddenly deflates.

T’Challa, Okoye, and two guardsmen walking towards him, a large case carried between them. Bucky has an inkling of what it is. He throws the sack harder than necessary, before he makes his way to them.

The men walk up to another stock pile of hay, placing the case on top of it. They stepped back once Bucky arrives. He swallows nervously, adjusting the shawl covering his left side. He glances up to meet the King's eyes for a moment. The look of determination with the tiniest gleam of sympathy makes Bucky's heart rate pick up. He flicks the locks open with his thumb, lifting the top of the case.

Resting against a statin cushion is a new vibranium arm. It looks exactly like the previous one sitting in the closet in their apartment. Shuri must've created the newest version, probably lighter, stronger, with more tech intertwined. His shoulders drop automatically, the same time his heart falls to his stomach. They wouldn’t have made the small journey out here just to present him with a new and improved arm. He knows what this means.

“Where’s the fight?” He inquires wearily, grinding his teeth. He hears how resigned his voice sounds. This was the last thing he expected living in Wakanda.

“On its way," T'Challa answers curtly. Then he glances over Bucky's shoulder as Ana has just walked up next to him, placing her hand on his lower back. Softer, T’Challa says, “Protection will be provided, of course.”

Bucky shifts his eye to Ana's face. She frowns as she gazes down at the new arm, then looks between Okoye, who remains stoic, and T'Challa. “From what? What’s going on?”

“I think you both better come with us," The King requests kindly. “The Captain is on his way with company.”

Bucky feels Ana slip her hand into his, and he tries to tamper down his disappointing dread. He knew he couldn’t run from war for long. Now his perfectly, peaceful crafted world with his wife is shattered. He squeezes her hand, feeling the all too familiar tingles of her empathic energy.

“Actually,” Ana speaks up. Bucky picks up on the slight tumor in her tone. “Do you mind if we meet you after we clean up a bit?”

T’Challa opens his mouth, but the clearing of Okoye’s throat makes him snap it shut. He cast her a sideways glance as she tilts her head down. The King turns to look at them once more, nodding his head.

“Of course. Would you like to take this with you then?” He nods to the arm.

“Please,” Ana answers.

Bucky is still soundlessly reeling over this abrupt turn of events. He doesn’t even notice the company has felts them, until a sharp snap breaks him out of his mind. He drags his eyes to the case, Ana now leaning over top of it, her head down with her hair falling over her shoulders to cover her face.

“He never flat out said war, did he?”

Her voice is small, still with the same shakiness. Bucky places his hand between her shoulder blades. He doesn’t answer, because if he says anything it will be a lie, and if he speaks, his voice will betray his emotions.

“Well,” She chirps, pushing herself up. Bucky counts the golden specks in her eyes. “Better get home, looks like you haven’t showered in weeks.”

That, causes an involuntary, indignant noise from him. “It’s only been two days from a full-on shower. I’ve been bathing in the lake.”

Lifting her hand, Ana scratches her nails against his overgrown beard. “Whatever you say, Winter Wonderland.” Their smiles don’t linger for long, as the situation at hand settles over them again.

“Let’s go, Annie Doll,” Bucky sighs, grabbing the case by the handle. “Wouldn’t want to keep them waiting.”

Ten minutes into their walk to the apartment, when Ana gasps sharply next to him. Simultaneously an invisible force passes through his chest causing him to drop the case. He quickly turns to his wife, doubled over with one hand bracing herself on her knee and the other digging into her chest. She nearly topples over, Bucky steadying her with his arm around her back as she struggles to inhale. He can feel how clammy she is through her thin shirt, can see her tan skin rapidly paling.

“Ana, I’m here, slow breaths, darling. I’m right here, you’re okay,” He promises, ignoring his own fear.

Bucky attempts to find positivity within himself and sends it her way, hoping by god that she can feel it. He hasn’t seen something like this happen to her in two years; when dark energy was deliberately thrown her way. It doesn’t last long before Ana takes a deep breath again, and again.

“There you go, love” He praises softly, rubbing her back. “Just count. I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe, it’s okay.”                                                      

She nods as he reassures her, reaching out her hand to press against his own chest. Slowly, Ana straightens up. Her eyes briefly meet his then she shifts her gaze to the sky. The panic subsides in Bucky’s heart, and he isn’t sure if it’s his own or Ana’s. Hair as has fallen over her face, so he gently pushes the strands behind her ear, earning her eyes back to his.

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Ana answers breathless, her fingers tightening in his dirty shirt. “Yeah. It’s- that’s what I-  _oh god_. This is what I’ve been feeling, Bucky, this entire time. This…this  _war_.”

Bucky presses closer to her, snaking his arm around her stomach and pressing a comforting kiss to her hair. If she has been gradually feeling this ominous threat looming over her for a good year, he doesn’t really want to know what they will be facing. However, Bucky makes a promise to himself right then.

Ana will not be anywhere near the fight. He will absolutely refuse it. He will protect her at all costs. She suddenly removes his arm from her stomach, replacing it with her own hands.

“It’s the…the…I feel sick,” She mumbles, eyes fluttering close.

“Do you need to see the doctor?” Bucky asks frantically; this isn’t good.

She shakes her head, leaning her weight against him. They’re quiet as she works through her breathing, all while Bucky tries to convey his own feelings of comfort to her. Slowly, her skin regains color, and the pained expression in her eyes fades. Relief settles over his heart as she at least starts to look better.

Bucky holds onto Ana, her head pressed against his chest, keeping a protect arm over her hands. He’s contemplating way to keep her safe, get her as far away from the center of the fight as he can.

“Tony.”

“What?” Bucky blinks himself out of his thoughts.

“Tony,” Ana whispers. “I have to call Pepper.”

“Right, let’s go then. Are you alright to walk?”

Ana nods, flashing him a smile that seems way too bright for what just happened. She laces her fingers with his, clearly not minding the layer of dirt on his skin. Bucky had been expecting to feel anxiety, even fear. Instead, he feels warmth seeping through his veins, warming his body. He knows her. He knows Ana is trying to hold back her feeling for his sake and as he meets her eyes again, he offers her a small smile. He doesn’t mention that he knows she’s trying to hide her real emotions.

***

Bucky leans against the door frame of their bedroom, just as his wife hangs up the phone. He had his hand on the faucet, ready to wash the work day away, when he felt a pang of worry shoot through his chest. He just caught the tail end of the conversation, already figuring out that whatever news was conveyed, it isn’t good.

“I thought you were taking a shower,” Ana states as she stands, dropping the phone on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” Is his response.

Shrugging, she answers, “Tony left. Pepper said they were out for a jog and some strange guy with a cape opened this weird portal? He asked for Tony’s help or something. Dr. Banner was with him. She said he looks shaken, then Tony told Pepper he had to go with them. She hasn’t heard from him since…since she contacted him in space.”

Shit. Whatever is happening is going to be bad. Bucky frowns, making his way over to her to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

“Stark’s smart and resilient. He’s going to be just fine,” He assures her; and himself.

Ana nods. “C’mon, dirty boy,” She quips lightly, pushing him back. “Pretty sure you haven’t washed your hair in two weeks, and Steve is arriving today. Gotta look all spit spot when your boy comes for war.”

Before Bucky can reprimand her for the ill-time joke, Ana is already in their room. He follows her, the shower already on and quickly heating up the bathroom. Bucky begins to strip off his dirty clothes as he watches Ana grab a towel, hesitate, then grabs another one. She places them on the hooks next to the shower door, sliding it open.

Bucky absolutely loves how the shower was built; smooth stone walls with a built-in bench. The space is large, with three different shower heads providing the perfectly pressured spray. One is mounted to the wall on the right, connected to another one that detaches. The third in placed on the ceiling above, something Ana had told him was called a “rain shower”. The first time he first it he didn’t want to leave, as the flow of the water felt amazing.

Ana had only turned on the first two, steam from the heated water already filling up the room. Now completely naked and making sure the port of his left shoulder is properly covered, Bucky steps into the spray. He allows himself to stand under the water with his eyes closed, listening while Ana still moves about. Huffing with the exhaustion of knowing he has to fight yet another war, he roughly shoves his fingers through is tangled, greasy hair.

The door slides, Bucky’s eyes snapping open when Ana steps in. He takes a moment to admire her, as he does daily, but now, it feels just a little different. His eyes slowly rake down her naked form; the smooth olive tone of her complexion that outlines her accentuating curves. He counts the scars littering her body, marring her nearly flawless skin. From the older ones on her hips and wrist, to the two-year-old bullet wounds on her shoulder and stomach and the five small, perfectly spaced dots on her right knee. The most recent scar spans 10 inches over her knee from the surgery she had. Each one is a few shades lighter than the rest of her, some raised and roped over with new tissue, some subtle yet jagged.

Bucky loves her all the same, but for now he keeps the memories of how she got most of those scars away. Instead, he focuses on her tattoos. The words about family inked on her ribs, the Latin ones on her foot, the lotus flower he knows is behind her ear.

“Buck,” The way Ana says his name always makes his heart flutter. “You have to actually use soap.”

There’s a hint of amusement in her tone. He shrugs sheepishly, clearly distracted by his loving, beautiful wife. Ana rolls her eyes, silently beckoning him to come closer. As he does, she grabs his hips, turning him and making him sit down on the bench, which is much warmer on his bare bottom than he anticipated.

Bucky gazes up at her, but she moves, adjusting the shower heads so the spray isn’t hitting their faces. She grabs his shampoo, conditioner and her own hair treatment bottles, bringing them closer to the bench. Then she finds the soap he prefers and the soft scrubby loofah.

Finally, Ana pushes his wet hair back, away from his forehead and off his face. Her rich, golden dotted, brown eyes meet his; abruptly the atmosphere changes around them. The weight of what T’Challa brought them wasn’t from the brand-new arm Shuri created. No. It was the ever ominous, looming clouds of war, of fighting, of possible lives being lost that weighs in their hearts, their bones. Sinks into their skin, taints the air, and just like that, their peaceful, lives in Wakanda was shattered.

Bucky suddenly has to-  _needs_ to touch Ana, lifting his hand to trace the scars along her hip. He trails his fingertips over her hip bone, across her navel, to her other hip. He repeats the notion, then wraps his arm around her back and pulls her as close as he can without her tripping against the bench. Bucky rests his forehead between her ribs, pressing a light kiss to her skin. He exhales heavily.

He feels her hands gripping his shoulders before hugging around his head. This moment only lasts a minute or so, before Ana’s hands leave his skin and he hears the snapping of a bottle cap. He leans back, but keeps his hand on her hip, his thumb rubbing circles.

“Close your eyes, Sergeant,” Ana commands softly, her hands covered in shampoo. “Don’t want to get soap in those baby blues.”

Bucky smiles as he follows her order, reveling in the feel of her hands lathering the shampoo in his hair. Instantly, his muscles melts at her touch, her fingertips massaging his scalp. He dips his head lower, so Ana has easier access to the ends of his hair, which he has neglected to cut. Bucky breathes her in, trying to find her natural scent behind the slightly fragrant shampoo. He listens carefully to the heartbeats, his favorite type of music; his lips turn down.

He can’t give this up. He can’t lose this happiness he has found, after seven decades. He can’t lose Ana. He must fight in this war, he has to protect her, protect their lives, their future. He has to help Steve and their friends, he has to fight and help protect whatever the reasoning is, to win, defend this gracious country, the people,  _earth_. But. He will walk away without looking back if he was asked.

“Tilt your head back, Snowflake,” His wife’s sweet voices cuts through his chaotic thoughts.

He does as he’s told, his eyes remaining shut, feeling the warm pressure of the water rinse through is hair. The palm of Ana’s hand swipes against his forehead twice, before he finally opens his eyes. Her face is stoic, but soft, wet lashes clumping together, little baby hairs curl and stick to her skin. She catches him looking at her and a small smile graces her red lips. She replaces the hose, then dips forward to kiss his eyebrow.

Bucky grabs the conditioner, handing it to her. He straightens up as she’s distracted, placing a feather light kiss to the side of her breast. Ana huffs a little giggle before tugging on his wet hair. She repeats the same actions with the conditioner but takes her time to carefully detangle every knot she finds with her fingers. As she lathers his hair, Bucky continues to press kisses all over her torso; hips, stomach, ribs, her forearms. It’s when she leaves the soap in as she grabs the body wash does Bucky finally speak up.

“I won’t do it if you ask me.”

The words are whispered against her shower warm skin, barely audible over the continuous water flow. He knows she hears him, because her movements stop, the loofah resting on his shoulder. He felt her muscle grow tense, and he hears the up kick of her heartbeat. She drops the loofah, hooking her finger under his chin to lift his face.

“I can’t ask you that, Bucky,” Ana replies solemnly. Her eyes are dark with chaotic emotions. He knows she wants to, but she’s right. She never would ask that of him.

“Steve, T’Challa, they need you. You’re-“ She swallows thickly, and Bucky catches her jaw clenching. “You’re a damn good shot and a great fighter. They need all the help they can get.”

He knows, as much as he doesn’t want to admit right now. “This isn’t a war I want to fight.”

“Was there ever a war you wanted to fight?”

He doesn’t answer. Ana speaks again, and with her words, brings his greatest fears.

“I’ll join too-“

“No.” Bucky shoots down immediately.

“I can help-“

“I absolutely refuse you to.”

Ana abruptly turns, grabbing the hose again and tilting his head back. “Hush, honey. Keep your mouth close, don’t want soap getting in.”

He glares up at his wife for all of three seconds, before his eyes flutter close as she rinses his hair again. Bucky squeezes her hip three times in silence and feels her muscles relax again. She squeezes his bicep, three solid times. They don’t speak again until after Ana puts in the hair oil and washes it away.

“Want me wash your beard too?” She questions, cupping his jaw.

Bucky kisses her palm. “I’ve got it, sweetheart. Thank you.”

She nods, turning her back on him so she can wash her own hair. Bucky finishes the rest of his cleaning routine, just as Ana is rubbing her own rain scented conditioner in the ends of her hair. He drops the loofah on the bench, his eyes flickering to the jagged scars on her back once more.

Ana has been through her own hell, through her own unfathomable pain. He has seen her broken, pale and bleeding. He has had nightmares, ones he has never even told her about where he dreamt he was in her kitchen, watching what happened with her brother. Bucky’s heart aches for several reasons, but Ana fighting? Ana being broken again, draining her own life energy for the sake of this war and to win, is the ache that will kill him.

Stepping up behind her, Bucky gently gathers her long, dark hair in his hands, and continues to wash it for her. He takes his time running his fingers through the wet silky stands, dropping kisses on her shoulder and neck.

“Best of wives,” Bucky murmurs against her skin, grabbing the shower head. “Best of women.”

Her breath hitches when he washes the soap out. “ _Te amo con toda mi alma y todo mi corazón._ All I feel is you.”

The hose slips from his hand, smacking loudly against the wall but Bucky doesn’t care. Ana spins around the same time Bucky pulls her close, holding each other tightly. Slick skin to slick skin, their bodies pressed together as one. Bucky’s arm hugs up her spine, her arms wrapped around his torso. Her face is buried against his chest, as he keeps his lips on top of her head.

He feels Ana trembling, but it’s not from the shower, since the water hasn’t gone cold yet. He feels a sorrowful turmoil curl through his heart, and he holds her a little closer, soothing his thumb over the top of her spine.

They hold each other as husband and wife, as best friends, as soul mates with their energy entwined, for as long as they possibly can.

***

After a quick but comfortable silent lunch- (but not before Bucky secretly trimmed his hair and beard, much to Ana’s displeasure who pouted for a solid five minutes) – they both stare at the new arm resting comfortably in the cushioned case.

Bucky watches as his wife tentatively touches the arm, tracing the golden lines from the top of the bicep to the tips of the fingers. She sighs heavily before she picks it up, tilting her head to the side.

“There’s a note here,” Ana announces, looking over her shoulder.

He stands next to her, picking up the small square paper. “ _White Wolf, I included another gift for you under the cushion. Made specifically and especially for you. The material is light, and bullet proof, my own special design. I hope you like it!_

_-Shuri_

_-PS. I got the inspiration from an old war jacket of yours.”_

Bucky shares a quick confused look with Ana, before he lifts the cushion. Folded neatly is a navy blue, one sleeve vest, with leather straps atop the shoulders, and six sewn diagonal line. Bucky is speechless for a moment as he touches the strange material. The vest looks like a modern version of the one he wore during World War ll, although not as thick, and not made of wool. There’re clear signs of Wakandan teach woven into the threads, giving a slight sheen against the light. He figures that’s the bull-proof aspect of it. He continues to trace over the breast of it, finding the little tabs at the end of each thick line that snap together. Once he has them undone, he opens the top flap of the vest, reveling a zipper to the second layer underneath.

Bucky picks it up, examining the rest of the garment. There’s a zipper on each side that looks like it can be adjusted to his size, and a built in X shaped holster with two empty slots. A thrill of excitement shoot through is heart; at least he’ll have his knives back, he  _was_  quite fond of those.

“It’s- uh,” Ana clears her throat thickly.

Bucky quirks his eyebrow at her. Her warm eyes are wide, twinkling with something Bucky has seen many, amazing, times before. She likes it. No, Ana loves it.

“Really, Annie?” Bucky laughs despite the situation.

“What?” She scoffs, knocking her hip into his. “You look so charming and handsome in blue. Plus, I’ve seen those old photos of you and, well. Stop looking at me like that.”

Bucky can’t help that his expression has grown soft. He pecks a kiss to her eyebrow in response. “Help me put it on?”

“Help you take if off later, more like,” Ana grumbles, sending a shit eating grin his way.

“Шалунья,” He says fondly.

They grow a little more serious after that, as Ana carefully attaches his arm. Once the initial discomfort of his nerves connecting to the vibranium appendage fades, Bucky flexes his fingers, twists his wrist and circles his arm.

“Feels okay?” Ana checks, opening the vest for him. “It’s been a several month since you wore it.”

“It feels great, actually,” Softer he says, “and you know why I haven’t-“

“I know, babe,” Her smile speaks wonders. “Let’s get this on, and be on our way.”

Once the vest is on, zipped and fastened correctly, with Bucky fishing out an older pair of tactical pants, they leave their apartment behind. They decide to take the long route again, Bucky keeping right arm around Ana’s shoulders with their fingers tangled together. She has her left arm around his waist, walking perfectly in sync, attempting to draw out the time they have together until the fight begins.

*********************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Te amo con toda mi alma y todo mi corazón" - I love you with all my soul and all my heart.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


	18. Teach Them How to Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff.

The moment Ana and Bucky arrive at the palace, is the moment Ana is dragged away by one of the medical scientists. She knows she missed her vitals and energy level check up the other day, mainly due to nausea and the ever growing feeling of energy. Instead, she had snuggled against Bucky’s chest while he gently rubbed circles over her stomach, which lulled her to sleep.

Now, Ana keeps an eye on Bucky as he shoots an encouraging smile over his shoulder before he continues to the landing pad. Nervous trills of energy tingle throughout her veins, though Ana can’t decipher if it’s from the upcoming fight or being away from Bucky for more than two minutes. She chews her lip until her levels are recorded, nearly falling off the table in her hast to meet Bucky.

“Mrs. Barnes,” The Medical Scientist speaks up with concern, making her halt. “Your stress levels are climbing. This is not good for your body, especially in your current predicament. I would like to take an-“

“Later, please?” Ana begs, beginning to walk back. “I just need to be with my husband, is all. I feel fine, I promise.”

The usual kind man looks skeptical, but after a moment of hesitation, he nods. Ana smiles then quickly exits the lab. She barely catches the tail end of Bucky’s quip as he greets Steve with a hug. Steve, with a full-grown bread he didn’t have the last time they saw him. Ana catches the people standing just behind him and she picks up her pace, bypassing the two men and launching herself straight into Natasha’s open arms.

“Nat!” Ana cries, overjoyed with seeing her friend after a year.

“My favorite Barnes!” Natasha greets fondly, squeezing her tight.

She hears Bucky make an indigent noise behind her, before a pair of bigger arms wrap around them both.

“I guess I’m just ignored now? That’s cold, Ana.”

Ana pulls back enough to see Natasha roll her eyes, shoving Sam away from them. Ana turns to give him a proper hug, laughing into his shoulder.

“I could never ignore my favorite wing man,” She promises, tapping her fingers against his folded wings on his back before they break apart.

“It’s pretty easy, actually,” Bucky inputs, sounding much closer to her now. His tone is also fond, though he’d probably never admit that.

“He’s not giving you trouble right?” Sam questions sternly, though his eyes shine with mirth.

“No more than usual,” She winks.

Then she spots Wanda, her arm wrapped around Vision’s waist. Wanda gives her a tiny, exhausted smile as Ana makes her way over to them. She gives them each a hug, double checking if they are both alright, especially after her friend gives her the tightest, a little shaky, embrace. Bruce Banner gives her an awkward wave, making her roll her eyes and wrap her arms around him too. The energy she feels within him leaves her breathless, but she doesn’t ask about it, figuring she’ll know soon enough. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes is next, shooting Ana a bright smile after a brief hug.

“Everyone doing alright?” She questions, worry settling in her heart. She can feel an underlying emotion of fear, dread. She eyes the advanced orthotic on Rhodes lower body.

He notices, tapping the side. “Tony made it specifically for me. Took some getting used to, but it makes me look badass.”

A bright laugh escapes Ana’s mouth, glad to see that despite his situation, the Colonel is in good spirits. Before the conversations can carry on, they are all being invited inside by T’Challa, him and the guards leading the way.

Ana can read Bucky’s energy before his fingers slip through hers. It feels, nervous. She attempts a reassuring smile towards him, then presses a quick peck to his left shoulder; vibrainum cool under her lips.

Natasha walks past them, pauses, turns and tilts her head. Her ever sharp green eyes scan Ana’s body. “Ana, are you… _glowing_?”

“It’s her thing now,” Bucky responds with a smirk.

She opens her mouth to answer, but a sharp surge of energy shoots up her spine. She presses her free hand to her chest, nearly doubling over before Bucky holds her firmly by the arms. She’s gasping, trying to control the strange chaos in her chest, reaching out to grip Bucky’s vest to steady herself. He instructs her to count her breaths quietly, pressing his forehead to hers so she can copy his own breathing.

“There you go, sweetheart,” He praises softly, hands rubbing up and down her arms. “Alright?”

Nodding, Ana straightens up, offering the best smile she can to her concerned husband. “Yeah, good. It’s just…stronger.”

Bucky frowns.

“Are you okay, Ana? What was that?” Natasha inquires carefully, curious wrinkle between her brows.

“I’m fine, promise.”

“Maybe you should stay-“ Bucky begins. He’s quickly cut off with a heat look from Ana. “Right. Let’s just go inside then.”

Natasha looks as if she wants to say more, but she moves pass them. Ana cups Bucky’s jaw, scratching his beard lightly before pressing her thumb to the corner of his mouth to raise his lip up. He chuckles, eyes soft as he wraps his fingers around her wrist.

“I just worry about you, Annie,” He breathes into her palm.

“I know. I worry about you too. I am worrying about you now,” She confesses. She brings his face closer to hers, pressing a light kiss to his mouth. “We should be inside. Important things to discuss.”

Bucky kisses the tip of her nose, lacing their fingers together. “Let’s go then.”

*

A plan of action has been set. Bruce had explained everything he knows and what he saw; a giant purple Titan with an alien army who thinks he is right. Bruce even tells them his hunch of where Thor might be. Shuri is doing something fancy with the Mind Stone embedded in Vision’s forehead, Wanda hovering close by, and Bruce looking on with interest. Steve is still chatting with T’Challa, some of the Dora Milaje including General Okoye and Ayo.

Ana had to step away, retreating to her work space within the lab, Bucky trailing right behind her. She fiddles with the rings on her fingers, barely containing the heavy atmosphere of emotions and nervous energy. It doesn’t add too well with the storm cloud that had been brewing for months with the apparent war for the fate of the Earth. She presses her hands over her stomach and her chest.

With every passing second, what she feels grows worse. Her veins singe like they’re burning, her heartrate is picking up. Before she can panic, a soft sense of comfort washes over her right as Bucky takes her hand. He tangles their fingers together, lifting hers to press a gentle kiss against the scars of her wrist.

Instantly, the tension eases from her shoulders. She watches as Bucky places a kiss to each of her knuckles, then he pulls her closer, softly pressing his lips over her eyebrow. Ana traces the lines of his left arm with the fingers he isn’t holding, grounding herself.

“Breathe, Annie Doll,” Bucky murmurs, lifting her chin with his metal fingers. His eyes are calm as he stares into hers; shifting like they do when he counts the gold speck. His irises the color of the unique rocks that surround the mineral spring; a cool grayish-blue. Almost as if his eyes sense the ominous clouds over them.

Nodding, she does as she’s told, inhaling and exhaling deeply. “Are you feeling alright?” She checks after a good two minutes.

Bucky narrows his eyes suspiciously. “I’m fine, darlin’. Don’t you dare think about changing anyone’s energy. Especially mine.”

He adds a good-natured poke to her nose just to make her scrunch it. She gently tugs his hair, a bit wavy now that it’s dried.

“Promise,” Ana smiles, pressing a fleeting kiss to his jaw.

“Do you just want to stay here until it’s time?” He questions somberly. Ana nods. “Here, sit down.”

“No, you sit,” Ana insists, guiding him over to one of the medical tables instead of her desk. “It’s more comfortable, and you’ll need the rest.”

“So do you,” Bucky grins, tugging her between his legs after he sits.

“I’m not an invalid, honey,” She teases.

“Not at all, just my best wife and best girl, who is-“

Ana gasps abruptly, a sense of chaotic energy pulling at her chest again. Bucky’s hands firmly hold her steady by her hips. The moment passes quickly. Twice within the spa of ten minutes.

“I’m okay,” She reassures once she sees the panic in his eyes.

“If you’re going to feel this the entire time, Ana,” Bucky begins reluctantly, “maybe you should stay in the apartment and-“

“No, absolutely not.”

“Annie-“

“ _James_.” Ana snips, giving him a glare. Bucky’s mouths snaps shut, but the corners pull up just a tad. “You refuse to allow me to fight, even though you know I will be more protected than anyone with the rings. I won’t be on the battlefield, this is as close to you as I can get.”

“I just…I know you’re angry about it, but I can’t just let you go, not with this threat and with your-“

Ana cuts him off by sharply tugging his hair. He pouts.

“Worth a try?” He shrugs, offering her a sheepish grin. “Even with your stubbornness?”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Snowflake.”

Suddenly the teasing mood is gone as they continue to hold each other’s gazes. Ana carefully runs her fingers through Bucky’s soft hair, watches as his lashes flutter from her touch. He keeps his hands on her hips, fingers sneaking under her shirt to rub soothing circles over her navel and hipbones.

Neither of them knows how much time passes. A sense of urgency settles over the room, but they ignore it, or try to. Ana can feel the prickle of Bucky’s nerves beginning to break through; can practically hear his thoughts and worry. His fear, and she knows, it isn’t fear for himself. It’s fear of something reaching her in the Lab. All the surrounding voices fade into background noise as Ana inhales slowly.

She hugs Bucky close to her, his forehead pressed to her stomach, just between her ribs. His grip is tight, the only visible sign of anxiety coming from him. Internally, she feels different whirls of emotions with each passing second. Ana is almost sick to her stomach because she doesn’t have a good inkling about this. Between everyone in the room, the darkening threat, and Bucky trying to hold back but failing. She tightens her arm around his shoulders, the hand that was brushing his hair slips to the back of his head.

With a tiny defeated sigh Bucky releases, Ana finally gives in. She slowly morphs his energy around, hoping to at least find an ounce of courage and positivity in herself and convey it to her husband. The thing is, she is on the brink of her own anxiety attack because it just fully hit her.

Bucky is about to go off to fight another war. She knows how long he’s just wanted peace and happiness; after all the shit he has been through. He just wants to manage their little farm and play with the goats, Cat, the children, for the rest of his life, and now. Now it’s shattered. His peaceful, blissful life-  _their_  peaceful, blissful life- is shattered.

Bucky’s fingers dig into her hips as he shifts his head to peer up at her. His beautiful blue eyes narrow at her dubiously. She meets his glare, quirking an eyebrow. He straightens up, now level with her chest, snaking his hand from her hip up to her side, until his palm is resting directly over her heart.

“I told you not to do that, Annie,” Bucky murmurs, his breath causing goosebumps along her skin. “You shouldn’t be wasting your own energy.”

“Shhh, let me do this for you,” She whispers, moving her hands to cup his cheeks. “Please.”

He nods in submission, bringing his hands up to catch hers and thumbing over the rings. “Turns these on the second I leave.”

Ana goes to respond, but the same feeling she’s been getting shoots through her chest and up her spine again. It’s stronger this time. As if her body can feel them getting closer. Her stomach rolls, her body tenses, Bucky pulls her tighter to him.

“You can feel them.” Bucky states quietly.

Ana shuts her eyes, and nods.

“Buck,” Steve’s voice breaks their little bubble. “It’s time.”

They both glance over at him, a hint of guilt gleaming in Steve’s eyes. Bucky nods as Ana bites her lip. When they meet each other’s gazes once more, a split moment passes before Ana dips her head down the same time Bucky leans up. Their lips connect firmly, her fingers gripping the roots of his hair. It tastes like a goodbye and she loathes it. It feels final, and despite knowing how dangerous this fight is going to be, she refuses to see it as a farewell.

Abruptly, Bucky slides off the table, standing to his full height, never breaking their kiss. Ana just follows his lips, her hands dropping to hug around his shoulders. He presses his thumbs into the sides of her stomach as his hands pull her even closer. A soft, gentle tongue swipes across her bottom lip, opening her mouth slightly to taste him, before they break apart.

“Is this what going off to war feels like?” Ana mutters shakily against his lips. Her heart clenches.

She hears Bucky’s breath stutters in his chest. His hand comes up to cup her jaw. “This feels worse.” There’s a short pause. “Real?”

Ana huffs. “Yes. You are. Unfortunately, this situation is too.”

“I just feel you, Annie.”

The tenderness of Bucky’s voice makes tears sting in her eyes. She swallows the thickening lump forming in her throat. She squeezes his shoulders, hoping he can carry the weight of her fingers with him.

“Always feel you,” Ana murmurs back.

“Guys, I’m so sorry, but we gotta get moving,” A reluctant Steve urges.

“One more minute,” Bucky replies, keeping his eyes locked on Ana’s.

She sees them shift back and forth, and she know he’s counting the dots again. Ana moves her hands, holding his face between them.

“You be careful, Snowflake,” She commands lowly. “I mean, it. Run if you need to. I’m safe here, don’t get distracted,” She kisses him briefly. “You come back to me. Got it?”

“I swear to you,” Bucky tells her with such conviction, she has no doubt. “I love you.”

Ana blinks, her vision beginning to blur with tears. “I love you, Bucky.”

They share another tender kiss, then Bucky steps away from her; his eyes look like it pains him to do so. His fingers trail down her jaw, her neck, over her pounding heart, down her stomach and hip. He takes her hand, squeezes three times, and then he’s turning, walking towards the landing dock.

Ana turns her back, not being able to watch him go; because she  _can’t_. She’s ready to help Shuri with Vision in any way she can, but Steve is standing in her way. She opens her mouth to say something, but the gentle yet amused look in his eye halts her. She frowns, until he nods his head up.

Before she can fully turn, strong arms wrap around her, and a searing kiss is pressed firmly against her mouth. Bucky dips her back, fully supporting her weight in his strong arms. Ana can’t help but smile at his dramatics, though it makes her heart flutter and her stomach curl with heat. She grips his shoulders, fingers digging into flesh and metal and cloth.

“You’re ridiculous,” She chuckles against his mouth.

Bucky hums, slowly straightening them again. “For you, doll face. Always for you.”

Then he’s leaving again, but he’s throwing a wink over his shoulder. Ana smiles brightly until he turns his face forward, then her smile drops, as does her heart. She really doesn’t have a good feeling, and with each passing minute, the energy surrounding them grows worse.

She feels a firm, comforting hand squeezing her shoulder. It’s a brief gesture, a silent goodbye as Steve moves to walk past her. Suddenly, she jerks her hand out, grabbing his hand and halting his steps. Her eyes are still on Bucky’s retreating back.

“Steve,” Ana whispers, trying to tamper the quiver in her voice. Her eyes slide over to his stoic face. “Bring my husband back to me.”

Steve faces her, gripping her hand tight. “I swear to you, I will.”

Then he pulls her into a hug, and she hasn’t had someone who has felt like a brother in so long, but Steve has become just that. Her brother. And it’s not just her husband that’s walking off to fight against these aliens, to save the world. It’s her entire family.

It’s Steve who had became her rock for ten, long lonely and heartbreaking months. It’s Sam and Natasha. It’s Bruce who she hasn’t seen in nearly two years. It’s T’Challa and Okoye and M’Baku, people who have accepted her and Bucky into their humble home. It’s Wanda, who was forced to grow up so fast, and is now still fighting to protect the one she loves.

 It’s Vision willingness to sacrifice himself if the time comes. It’s Shuri who is doing everything in her power to help him. It’s Tony, who she hasn’t heard from, but she  _knows_. Part of the feeling she has, is because he’s out there putting his life on the line.

They all are.

“Stay safe, Steve,” Ana tells him against the patch with the missing star on his suit.

“You too,” He responds lowly.

Steve releases her then, sharing one last look before he follows after Bucky.

Ana inhales deeply, pressing her hand to chest as if she can feel Bucky’s heartbeat within her. Then, she turns to assist Shuri, ignoring the prickling of energy warning her.

 

**********************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am possibly taking a short hiatus for the rest of march. I suddenly lost a co-worker, someone I became quick friends with. My mom is have a major surgery in two weeks as well. So, March will be a tough time. Please be patient with me as I update these Drabbles and my other fics. Thank you guys for being amazing and reading my stuff <3 <3 <3


	19. Just Feel...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Language. Feels. Violence. Angst.

Wakanda is a beautiful country; filled with stunning sunsets, hidden hot springs, open fields and a general peacefulness over its people. It shouldn’t be colored with the violence that is currently happening below Ana as she stands in front of the window. From the top floor of the Lab, the fighting looks morbidly comically, just little specks running around the landscape.

Tremors of chaotic energy have singed through every fiber of Ana’s body for the past hour. Her bottom lip is raw from how often her teeth has been gnawing on it. The heaviness of anxiety is nearly palpable throughout the room, although it’s overtaken with her own feelings of distress.

Her husband is out there, armed with just a few knives and a semi-automatic rifle, and every piece of her heart. Bucky is putting his life on the line for the fate of the universe, despite how tired he is of war. Ana isn’t. Instead, she’s attempting to ignore how her skin prickles ominously, faint tendrils of charged power.

Ana has no way of communicating with Bucky. She wasn’t given a COM and she highly suspects Bucky requested it. The lingering warmth of his energy is all the connection she has with him. It’s not enough to settle her nerves. She glances over her shoulder at Shuri and Vision; the 3D hologram of the Mind Stone intricately worked on. The young girl’s expression is stoic as she concentrates, deft fingers moving rapidly. Vision is perfectly still, watching her work with curious eyes. Wanda idles nearby, picking at her nails. She’s been mostly silence, adding to the stress of the time sensitive issue.

Fleeting, Ana wonders if she should reach out her empathic healing to at least settle some of Wanda’s anxiety. But Ana is barely holding her own together as it is. She presses her left hand to chest, feeling the cool metal of her wedding band against what’s exposed of her skin above her shirt. Stabs of panic shoots through her heart, makes nausea curl hotly in her stomach.

Wincing, she moves her hand over her navel, squeezing her eyes shut and grinding her teeth. She tries taking slow, deep breaths to calm herself. Bucky is all she can think about. What is happening? Is he in trouble? Is he hurt? Does he need help? Is he-

A quiet gasp snaps Ana out of her thoughts. She glances at Wanda, her eyes wide and staring out the window. Following her gaze, Ana’s spine goes rigid. Several giant alien ships, with wheels that looks like a rotating saws, are attempting to break through the barrier. Twenty seconds later, the barrier fails. Ana quickly meets Wanda’s eyes.

There’s a split second where they just stare at each other, then Wanda shoots a regretful look over her shoulder at Vision. When she looks at Ana again, they nod at the same time, and newfound determination settles between them.

Ana twists her rings on.

*

They are surrounded. It’s been like that since a section of the barrier was opened; one right after one, after ten. A non-stop on slaughter of the six limb  _Space Dogs_ , as that trigger-happy talking Raccoon called them. Bucky keeps his eye on him ever since he picked him up and used him as valued support, showering bullets and lasers alike. He figures he’d keep him close by in case he needs help again. No matter how many times the little guy continues to barter for his gun...and his arm. Honestly, Bucky would probably just give his arm to him after this is all over for free. That might be met with violent protests; especially from his wife.

 Bucky has just fired a string of bullets into the next wave of terrifying, ugly aliens, and for a split moment he takes a breath. It’s short lived when one of the creatures ambushes him, or attempts to, dashing out from the thick of the forest. He shoots it down but doesn’t account for the next two. They come at him incredibly fast, snarling and snapping their long sharp teeth, but even quicker they fall to the ground, dead. Bewildered, Bucky peers down at them to see two long knifes lodged through their necks.

 Turning, he expects to see Natasha, or the little Raccoon. What he’s met with instead makes his heart swell, then seize in terror. His wife is casually leaning against a tree, twirling another knife expertly between her fingers. Ana looks like she’s at a practicing range instead of a violent battle field.

 “Glad to see my skills are up to par,” She smirks mischievously, her pretty brown and gold eyes glittering in the sunlight. It warms his heart.

 There’s a pale golden shimmer dancing along her entire body. Bucky doesn’t allow himself to feel relieved that she’s at least protected by the rings. He surveys their surroundings first, then marches over to her, pointing his gun down toward the sky.

 “What the  _hell_  are you doing here!?” Bucky hisses at her. He has an urge to touch her, his fingers twitching, but if he does, the force field will knock him back and drain a good amount of his life energy.

 “Helping you.” Ana states defiantly, as she twists the rings off and the glow vanishes. “We couldn’t stay in the Lab, Bucky. Not after those ships broke through.” Her lips tilt down. “The minute Wanda left they attacked, went after Vision. Either way I would have fought.”

 Bucky nods, now able to pull her behind a tree to shield them from sight. He wraps his metal arm around her shoulders, pressing a quick kiss to her eyebrow, and reveling in the comforting scent of her. Still doesn’t stop his heart from racing.

 “Why am I not surprised,” He mumbles against her skin. His eyes are continuously scanning the area behind her. “I just need you to be safe.”

 “Bucky, I can fight, and right now I don’t think there is a safe place. Anywhere.”

 Her voice shakes a little at the end. It makes him set down his rifle against a tree before bringing her in close with both arms. Bucky can’t risk this. He can’t risk everything Ana holds for him; his life, his happiness, his future. He exhales heavily, sliding his hands down her arms to her waist. He presses his thumbs on either side of her hipbones, just over the beginning of her scars. He kisses her furiously, prying her lips open and tasting every ounce of emotions, of  _Ana_.

 She sinks her hand into his tangled sweat damp hair, pulling him closer and sighing softly. He swallows it, wants to distract her enough to bring her home. To make sure she’s out of the line of fire, out of the fight entirely. He’ll never tell her how close he was to having dozens of razor-sharp teeth ripping out his throat. It’s too dangerous, but he knows his defeat when it comes to his wife. Self-preservation is something Ana has always lacked, but he loves every single part of her.

 “Stay hidden,” He commands quietly, after breaking their kiss. He presses his forehead to hers. “Fight in the shadows. I can’t lose you.” He rubs soothing circles into her stomach with his thumbs; he felt the strange wave of nausea earlier too.

 “You won’t. I’ll be careful,” Ana whispers, holding his face between her hands. A gentle warmth seeps throughout his bones, a promise. “I love you. I’ll watch your back.”

 Ignoring all the warning signs screaming that this is a horrible idea, Bucky kisses her once more. “I love you, too, Annie Doll.”

 Then he’s releasing her, picking his gun back up. He pulls another knife from his thigh holster, handing it to her. She nods, winks, then quickly moves into a thick patch of bushes. Bucky tampers down his fear, then returns to the fight.

 *

 The air is thick with kinetic energy. Ana inhales deeply, pulling it out of the air, gathering the force of energy between her hands. She feels the charge of it hot against her palms, hears the animalistic sounds of those hideous aliens. She waits with anticipation, until the creatures are right where she wants them. Then she shoves her hands against a loose boulder, sending it flying with the kinetic energy. It smacks right into the three aliens, crushing them against a larger wall of rock.

More wet, snapping sounds alert Ana to the aliens behind her. Spinning, she pulls out the glock she found in the Lab, firing a perfect shot straight through the creature’s eye. It drops to the ground. Another follows immediately, Ana firing, but misses as the alien dodges the bullets. Instead, she’s quick to grab the knife Bucky handed her, jerking her hand forward. The blade slices perfectly through its neck, the alien falling dead next to its kind.

A figure shifts out of the corner of her eye, Ana throwing several smaller knives at three other aliens. She ends the last four of them by thrusting her hands out. One barely touches her palms before a bright, burning light engulfs its body. She feels the foreign life force of the alien before it falls, dead. Pulling back her arms, she shoves them forward once more. A force of burning energy releases from her palms, piercing through the aliens bodies.

Blinking, Ana straightens, feeling a little out of breath, but otherwise perfectly fine. She surveys the ground, realizing she’s standing in the middle of a morbid circle, lifeless ugly alien bodies on the ground.

“Gross,” She grimaces to herself as she pulls Bucky’s knife out of a jugular.

She hurriedly goes about collecting the other small knives, cleaning them on her black pants. She ignores what she is exactly cleaning off and makes a mental note to not tell Bucky how close she had to be to drain the alien’s life. It’s that split second distraction that nearly costs her own.

That horrible alien noise comes from behind her. She’s too slow as she raises her hands, the alien within two feet of her before there’s a bright blue light over her left shoulder. It abruptly crumbles to the ground. Startled with confusion, Ana turns to see who just saved her.

Surprisingly her savior isn’t Bucky, or Steve, not even Wanda who has disappeared elsewhere. Instead, a smaller body holding what looks like a laser gun, is standing there with a satisfied smirk. Ana doesn’t even question why there seems to be a raccoon with a gun half its size in Wakanda.

“Thanks,” Ana nods in appreciation, sticking the last of the smaller knives into her belt. She surveys the area quickly before meeting the his gaze again. She pushes aside strays hairs loose from her braid. “Cool gun.”

“Neat trick you got there,” He tells her, with a voice deeper than Ana imagined. “What is it, some kind of plasma energy force?”

“You know, I’m not entirely sure. Let’s go with, yes.”

A frustrated yelp that sounds suspiciously like Bucky pulls her attention away. Ana hurriedly climbs on a fallen tree branch, enough of a height boost to see Bucky through a clearing. He’s just finished yanking his left fist back from under an alien’s chin, knife clutch in his hand, the blade bloody. Ana pulls her gun back out, aiming for a moment, then squeezes the trigger, the bullet penetrating through the oddly shaped head of the creature.

Bucky looks over, raising his knife and has the audacity to smirk. “Thanks, my darling spouse!”

Exasperated, she rolls her eyes. “Told you I got your back! Gotta work on your rusty skills, Snowflake. ”

“Not all of my skills are rusty, sweetheart,” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, then takes off running towards more trees.

“I swear, always in the mist of a fight and he still flirts,” Ana grumbles, but she can’t keep the smile of her face as she comes down from the rock.

“Huh,” The raccoon speaks up, his dark eyes glittering with interest as he appraises her. “Think your husband will sell his gun to me?”

“Most likely not.”

“How about his arm?”

Ana pauses, flashing a coy smile at him. “Possibly, but I love it way too much.” She winks before she takes off to find more coverage to stay hidden.

“I like her!” The raccoon’s amused voice echoes behind her.

*

There’s a small window of rest, the waves of aliens having ceased since Thor continued to use his new weapon. Flexing her fingers from the feeling of his leftover powers, Ana uses what she can to morph the air around her. She may be able to convey an encouraging force to everyone within 100 yards. She catches Sam’s eye from the distance, who nods and salutes her in gratitude. Then, she decides to find Bucky.

The sounds of his gunfire stopped echoing through the forest several minutes ago and she hasn’t seen him since. Ana opens her mouth to call out to him- then instantly chokes, clutching her chest with vice fingers. It feels like a freight train pierced through her chest, her heart constricting for a few terrifying moments.

Ana’s breath sticks in her throat as she looks to her right. Nothing is there, but it’s coming, she can feel it. Backing and stumbling away from a spot ten feet in front of her, she quickly retreats behind a tree, leaning on it for support. Whatever energy that is gathering is making it difficult to breathe.

The air shifts, the leaves fluttering chaotically in the wind that just picked up. There’s nothing but the rustle of the trees, the stirring of the dirt. Eerily quiet; like an eye of a hurricane.

Wind suddenly pulls towards an invisible vortex of gray clouds in one spot. A bright blue light appears, electric currents racing through black fog. It makes the hairs on Ana’s arms stand on end; makes her blood sing with an incredible surge of power.

Then, _he_  appears, emerging from the blue gray smoke. Thanos.

“Cap,” Bruce speaks up in the short distance, his voice low and determined. “That’s him.”

Ana barely hears what Steve says in return, the rushing of blood in her ears too loud. She’s too busy attempting to regulate her breathing, to keep herself from being crippled by the immense amount of power. She needs…she needs Bucky. Bucky can help her. She needs…her rings. She had only turned them off again to help Natasha up after a brutal scuffle with an alien. Shakily, Ana twists her rings on, the immediate relief of energy around her stabilizing.

She straightens up, finally able to breath properly. She peaks around the trunk of the tree, just in time to witness the action in front of her. Banner in the Hulk-Bluster suit sprints towards the intimidating Titan. The giant man clenches his fist with the golden glove, blue light emitting from a stone. Ana gaps as Bruce phases right through him, rolling on the ground. Thanos traps him against a boulder, fusing the rocks over the suit.

Appearing out of nowhere, Steve attacks, proving futile. With one swipe of his hand, he sends Steve flipping through the air, landing heavily on the ground. T’Challa ambushes an attack, jumping to gain higher ground. Thanos grabs him by the jugular before punching him hard in the face, knocking him to the dirt despite the Black Panther suit absorbing blow. Sam tries swooping in, firing his guns, but it’s useless. Thanos swats him out of the air like a fly.

Ana raises her hands, ready to attack from behind, when other wave of power hits her once more. Distracted, she moves around the tree, watching as Wanda begins to destroy the Mind Stone in Vision’s forehead. It’s too much.

It’s all too much. The rings barely feel like they’re working; she can feel everything. The unprecedented energies from each separate stone. From Thanos wielding that energy. To the residue from the earlier fighting. Wanda’s powers and her emotional turmoil; heartbreaking anguish.

Colonel Rhodes follows behind Sam, coming in hot. He too, is tossed to the side like a speck of dust. The mad Titan has barely touched anyone. Through the mist of everything, Ana closes her eyes, focusing everything into her center. Once she’s got most of it tamed, her eyes snap open, looking for a way to surprise the purple prick.

 His glove. The gauntlet. Remove the gauntlet from his hand. If she angles herself just right, she may be able to blast the damn thing off with an energy beam. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get a chance.

Horror constricts her heart as she watches Bucky sprint full sped at Thanos, firing his gun with precision at him. Ana nearly screams his name, ready to aid her husband. Then the titan clenches his fist, a bright purple light emitting from the glove. It hits Bucky in the chest, slamming him hard into the ground. He lands close to Ana, who soundlessly rushes to him, dropping to her knees as she quickly turns the rings off.

“Bucky!? Bucky?  _Oh god,_  please be okay,” She pleads, fear making her fingers tremble as she grips his arms. He groans, slow to get up, but turns to face to her. Relief floods through her veins.

“Goddamnit!” He growls, fingers digging in the dirt. His blue eyes are full of anger, melting away the moment he meets her gaze. He offers her the tiniest quirk of a smile, pushing himself to his knees with her help. There’s a bit of blood at the corner of his mouth that she wipes away with her thumb, then on her pants.

“M’fine, Ana,” Bucky breathes, lifting his dirty hand to push the stray hairs away from her face. “Get the hell out of here.  _Now_.”

Ana is about to furiously protest, absolutely refuse to leave her husband, her friends, as they get thrown around effortlessly like crumpled paper. But then she catches sight of Steve, running at Thanos as he advances towards Wanda and Vision. He slides underneath his arm, stands, landing a few punches. He loses his new shields in the process.

Bucky turns with confusion, until his shoulders tense, his body growing rigid. They both watch as Thanos thrusts his gloved hand towards Steve. He catches it with is bare hands. Ana has a horrible feeling this isn’t going to end well. And she knows with a heavy dreading thought, that she can officially end it. Not just blasting the glove off, no. She can end  _Thanos._

Taking advantage of Bucky’s distraction, Ana stands with a final resolve. She turns the rings on once more, clenching her fists. All her energy, every once of energy she had been collecting, positive, negative, charged, kinetic, surges through her. She gathers what she can take from the sheer presence of the stones, hot and heavy from the air for more amped power. Ana sprints pass Bucky, just as Steve is punched solidly in the head, knocked out cold.

She ignores Bucky’s cries of desperation, begging her to stop. Instead, she takes a page from Steve’s book, and slides. She skids under and between Thanos’ legs, popping up and twisting forward. It’s a clear element of surprise to the Titan, surprise on his grimacing face that gives her the split moment she needs.

Wasting no time, Ana thrusts both hands at his chest, shooting her powers into him. Inhaling, she pulls internally, attempting to at least drain some of his energy. She feels it burning through her veins, wonders if her skin is on fire, the white-hot searing of his energy boiling beneath her palms. Ana grits her teeth, vaguely aware she’s growling in exertion. Thanos stumbles forward, but she holds her ground, locking her knees and continues to concentrate on taking his life force.

“Impressive,  _child_.”

Ana barely registers the taunting deep voice, opening her eyes just in time to see Thanos raise his gloved fist. As quick as the flashing of light around them, Ana switches her target. She catches his hand in hers. She changes gears, beginning to pull from the stones themselves.

That’s the real issue here. The power of the Stones. Her right hand slips slightly, her fingers grazing over the stone embedded in the last knuckle of the glove. She yelps, either from pain or the new surge of power coursing through her. The once golden light surrounding them, slowly morphs to orange around her body.

Thanos sneers. He clenches the gauntlet, closing his fist and yanking his hand back. Abruptly, the connection breaks, stealing the air from Ana’s lungs with it. She can’t catch her breath now, despite Thanos stumbling and heaving. She doesn’t hesitate, throwing her arms forward, attempting to send out an energy blast.

Suddenly, Ana’s feet are whipped up from the ground. An invisible force wraps around her body before she’s thrown to the side, heading straight towards a wall of rock. Her back slams into the boulder, a deafening crack echoing behind her.

She doesn’t feel the blow of the impact, just feels the soft ground as dropped on, disorientated on her hands and knees. The rings shield must’ve protected her, absorbed most of the force. Still, Ana feels utterly winded, exhaustion threatening to weigh down her bones. At least the rings saved her from serious injuries…possibly even her life.

Ana attempts to get up but she’s breathless, her energy making her waver and she kneels to the ground, trying to press her hands to her chest. She feels like her blood is singing with power, a new power. A strange, unknown power that’s keeping her rooted to the spot.

Weakly, she lifts her head to see Thanos advancing towards Wanda. She moves one arm behind her, blasting her power at full force to hold Thanos back. It seems to be working, Wanda using her powers to her full ability.

All Ana can do is watch from the sideline, willing herself to just  _move already_. An invading thought, a cold chilling terror overcomes her for a moment, but before she can panic and check for a major injury, a heavy thud lands next to her.

“Annie! Fuck, are you okay!? Are you hurt!?” Bucky frantically questions, hands hovering over her shimmering body. “Darling, answer me,  _please_.”

His voice, weighed with concern, fear, warmth, refills her lungs. She gasps, as if whatever was choking her vanished with her husband’s presence. She feels a flood of relief wash over her heart, from Bucky. Regulating her breathing, focusing on the air entering and exiting her lungs, Ana finally gathers her strength back. Enough to twist off the rings. Immediately, Bucky’s comforting hands are on her back, running along the length of her body, checking for injuries.

“What the  _fuck_  were you  _thinking,_ baby?” He murmurs. Ana catches the tremor in his voice.

Before she can even open her mouth to answer him, there’s a sudden shout, a blinding light, and an explosion of power. The strong blast knocks Ana and Bucky back, landing a good distance away from each other. Disorientated once more, Ana groans as she sits up.

 “ _No_.”

A horrified whisper makes Ana lift her eyes. She landed close to Steve, who just seems to be getting up from that blow he took from Thanos. His eyes are locked on the scene in front of him, causing Ana to follow his line of sight. Her panic is silent as she watches Thanos use the green stone to reverse what Wanda just did. He brings back Vision.

It all happens so fast. The mind Stone is ripped away as he careless drops Vision’s lifeless body. It’s placed on the last and final space on the glove. The strongest surge of power overtakes the titan, now equipped with all six Infinity Stones. Right then, the air crackles with lightning. A blinding stream of light, then, Thor is shoving his ax through Thano’s chest.

For a moment, for one short, beautiful moment, Ana thinks it’s all over. That they won. Thor pushing the blade of his ax further into that psycho’s chest. The moment is gone when Thanos raises his gloved hand, and snaps. Thor shouts. Bright light flashes, temporary blinding everyone.

The light fades. The smell of burning metallic taints the air. A moment passes.

“What did you do!?” Thor demands furiously. “What did you do!?”

Using the power of a stone, Thanos disappears.

-

Everything is silent afterwards. Eerily so. It’s as if all the oxygen has left Wakanda. Ana stands shakily. The universe feels tilted, off. Her spine goes rigid. It’s like ice is seeping throughout her bones, chilling her to the core. Energy on a giant scale seems to drain from her body, as if someone just pulled a plug.

She stares at her hands for a moment, wondering where it is coming from. Something is wrong. Her left hand has gone numb. A foreign tingling sensation begins to burn at her fingertips. She feels utter bemusement through her chest.

A sharp gasp is ripped from her throat. It felt like an invisible fist just punched through her heart. Her hands fly to her chest. She doesn’t understand, can’t figure out what that was. She just suddenly feels like half of her life energy is leaving her.

“Steve?”

Ana knows that voice from miles away; Bucky. There is perplexity in his tone, an underlining of fear. She turns, spotting him walking towards them, his gun pointing in the air. 

“Annie?”

Frowning, she takes a step forward as Bucky looks down at his left hand. His fingers abruptly morph into a murky color. All breath ceases in Ana’s throat as her body grows cold. Her eyes widen in terror.

Bucky’s metal fingers crumble right before their very eyes. Ashy dark pieces begin to break apart his legs. His entire left arm starts to fade away, the gun falling from his right hand as he tries taking a staggering step towards them. His gray-blue, panic-stricken eyes snap to Ana.

“No.” She whispers, horrified.

Ana swears her heart halts in her chest as she reaches out towards him. She shuffles forward, one foot after the other, willing herself to move quicker. She breaks into a jog. Bucky’s entire body is fading into gray, disintegrating right before her very eyes.

 If she can get to him, if she can catch him, maybe just  _maybe_ , if she can touch him, she can save him, keep him together. Just as Ana dives on her knees, Bucky collapses, his body crumbling into a cloud of dust, her fingers grasping at fading particles.

_No._

 Her heart disintegrates.

 “B-Bucky?” She breathes, voice trembling.

 Her hands shake violently as she stares at them covered in what looks like ashes. She can’t- she doesn’t- she lowers her hand onto the pile on the ground, fingerings digging into the soil. She doesn’t even register Steve kneeling next to her, his bruised, bloody hand grazing the spot between them.

 Bucky. Where did Bucky go?

 “I,I,I can’t- feel,” Ana stutters inaudible. “I can’t f-feel you. Bucky...I c-can’t feel…I can’t feel you.”

 The air around her vanishes, conceding with her chest. She briefly glances up, just to see that walking and talking tree creature reach out towards the talking raccoon. The tree fades away into the air. Wanda clutching a lifeless Vision in her arms quietly vanishes.

  _No_ _._

 Startled cries begin to taint the air. Worried, scared voices calling out names. Ana hears nothing but the shattering of her soul. Her eyes snap back to her hands sinking into the earth where Bucky should be. Bucky should be in front of her. Ana suddenly doesn’t know where she is anymore. She’s clutching the earth, gripping, pulling, praying, begging. Begging to feel him, to feel his energy.

 She can’t feel Bucky.

“I can’t feel you,” She whimpers in shock. “ _I can’t feel you_.”

 _This can’t be real_. She squeezes her eyes shut, bringing her left up to claw at her chest as the other remains in the dirt.  _This can’t be real_. Her throat feels like it’s on fire, blood is rushing to her ears, her body curls in on itself. Her veins feel cold. Her breath is gone and her heart....she can’t feel her heart. Her chest is an empty void.

  _This can’t be real_.

“Oh God,” Steve exhales in horrified distress.

“You are all now at the mercy of the great Thanos,” The blue skinned alien, who had injured Vision just before Ana arrived on the field, speaks up, emerging between the trees. The last of the mad Titan’s goons. “You should be grateful for his-“

The words die in his throat. She doesn’t know when or how she stood up, Ana just knows her hand is now over the alien’s ugly face, as if she’s in a trance. A wet, gargling noise disturbs the eerie air, the alien’s limbs jerking sporadically as his face begins to glow a bright blue. The light engulfs his entire body before turning white, his skin burning beneath her palm. A short blast flashes, followed by a heavy thump. The light fades, the air once again swirling with particles.

Ana pants, finally tearing her eyes away from the spot Bucky should be. The alien’s lifeless body stares back at her, thick streams of blue blood oozes out of every orifice on his face. His skin is marred, the smell of burnt flesh her stinging her nose.

Her knees buckle, falling to the ground. Her body trembles violently. Everything is empty. There’s a hallow ache between her ribs. A darkness pressing all around her. Suffocating her. Taking her. She wants it to take her.

_Ana can’t feel Bucky._

She  _begs_  for it to take her.

A vice grip wraps around her body. Hot air hisses over her ear. A sharp twisting sting pinches her skin, finally breaking through the deafening rush of waves in her head. She’s screaming, or sobbing, or hyperventilating. She doesn’t know. She just can’t feel Bucky.

_Breathe. Just breath._

The words finally register with Ana. The voice is gentle, laced with tremors and fear as they’re repeated over again. Gradually, her senses come back to her. Heavy, muscular arms hold her together, too tight, too painful; it’s grounding. It’s constricting her, she shifts in panic, the arms loosening their hold.

Her vision clears as Ana stares into blue eyes. Different blue eyes. Different eyes without the crinkles in the corners, without the glitter mirth and admiration. Blue eyes with green flecks laced into the fibers. Steve.

Not her life. Not her heart. Not Bucky

Ana inhales shortly. She comes back to herself, abruptly aware of everything. She doesn’t know how much time has passed. She slowly takes in his appearance. His face is covered in sweat and dirt, his lip cut open and bleeding. He’s roughed up, he’s exhausted, he’s grounding her. His expression is broken as he helps her. It’s his eyes though that bring her back. The utter look of torment in them snaps her aware to their surroundings, reality setting in.

“Breathe,” Is all he says. As if he’s telling himself to do so as well.

 _Oh god_ , he lost Bucky too.  _Bucky_.

Ana breaks eye contact, a thought crashing through the blankness in her mind. She looks down at her body, shimmering waves encase her. The rings aren’t activated. The glow is her own power source, her own energy shield. Protecting. Protection. Protection for herself. Protection to keep her safe. Protection for-

“Steve,” Ana exhales as her body begins to tremble all over. Her fists clutching at the dirt where her husband vanished before her eyes.

Her vision blurs, her head swimming. Her chest is utterly empty. She meets his gaze, a complex of emotions storming in his eyes. Ana wraps her arms around her middle. Protecting. Like she tried to do with…Bucky. Like he tried to do with her. Protecting her. Protecting  _them_.

“I’m pregnant.”

********************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. This month has been...horrible. I've been emotionally and physically exhausted in every shape and form. I also wrote this at 2am.


	20. Without You...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Language. Angst. Sad. Fluff kinda. Trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever to post, my life has had a streak of bad luck lately. But here it is! This chapter and the ones to follow will follow some canon from End Game (which goes to say, there are spoilers, but hopefully everyone has seen it by now.) I struggled a little with this one, so hopefully you like it! I feel like my writing in this one was a bit different to reflect how Ana reacts.

**_Previously on Delicate Stages Drabbles:_ ** ****

_Ana breaks eye contact, a thought crashing through the blankness in her mind. She looks down at her body, shimmering waves encase her. The rings aren’t activated. The glow is her own power source, her own energy shield. Protecting. Protection. Protection for herself. Protection to keep her safe. Protection for-_

_“Steve,” Ana exhales as her body begins to tremble all over. Her fists clutching at he dirt where her husband vanished before her eyes._

_Her vision blurs, her head swimming. Her chest is utterly empty. She meets his gaze, a complex of emotions storming in his eyes. Ana wraps her arms around her middle. Protecting. Like she tried to do with…Bucky. Like he tried to do with her. Protecting her. Protecting them._

_“I’m pregnant.”_

***

Silence.

Utter, still silence. Silence is a numb caress over an empty shell; a numb empty chest, a vacant heart. Silence burns through veins like the horrors of torture. Silence is crushing. Silence is broken by mimicking sounds of thunder rolling in the thick air. Silence is tainted by horror, confusion, cries of anguish. Time slowly ticks by, seconds morphing into minutes.

Ana blinks the burning dryness from her eyes from staring unseeingly. She must have blocked her surroundings out, absently wondering if there’s an empty hole through her chest. It has taken her a good amount of time to barely register sitting on a fallen log. She must have been moved, taken her away from  _that_  spot and sat her down. Someone is next to her, their hand on her wrist; a solid comforting grip. Her right hand laid protectively over her stomach.

Fallen leaves and grass rustle to her right and a small, black hand touches her knee. Ana looks up from her lap. The talking racoon from early is there, gazing up at her with a disheartening expression. He removes his hand in favor of picking something up, holding it out to her.

It’s a gun. Bucky’s gun. He’s offering her Bucky’s gun. The one he had used to fight a war he didn’t truly want too, but did because people needed him. The one that dropped from his disinterring fingers. If Ana could feel anything at the moment, she would probably cry.

She lifts her hands, the person beside her releasing their hold. Ana accepts the heavy M249 paratrooper gun, resting it carefully on her lap. She nods in gratitude at the little guy. He hops up next to her, placing his hand on her arm, something akin to another form of twisted comfort through grief.

“Rocket,” He supplies, speaking so quietly, she almost misses it.

“Ana,” She thinks she murmurs back.

She grips the gun with her left hand, then moves her right over her stomach once more. Tired footsteps heavily approach them, Ana suddenly staring at a dirty pair of combat boots in her line of sight. There’s a sense of failure in the stirring air, thickening the chaos; Ana ignores it.

“We should go,” Steve suggests quitely, a slight tremor in his voice. “We…we shouldn’t- I don’t think we should stay here.”

A wave of nausea curls through Ana’s stomach. Leave? Leave to go where? Leave her home? The home she and Bucky- Ana blinks. Her home is gone. Faded away. Crumbled between her fingers, helpless to prevent it.

“Ana,” That’s Natasha’s voice. Sitting to her left, squeezing her arm. How does she sound so gentle? “Do you want to stay here, or come with us?”

“Nat…”

“It’s her choice, Steve,” She tells him. To Ana she continues, “It’s up to you. I know your hom-“

“I’ll go,” Ana’s voice sounds strange in her own ears. As if someone else is speaking for her. Finally, she lifts her head to meet Natasha’s shinning green eyes. “I need to get…can I bring…”

She shakes her head, biting her lip hard. Waves of emotions rolls through her veins like ice. She ignores it once more.

“Gather some things?” Natasha supplies knowingly. “Of course.”

“I don’t want you going alone,” Steve input. He sounds so… _broken_.

“I can go with her,” Rocket volunteers. “Why not, I’m already hitching a ride back with you lot anyway.”

He jumps off the log, brushing his hands on his vest. Ana hasn’t moved, until Rocket firmly pats her knee twice; she feels waves of despair coming from him. Gripping the gun, she slowly stands up, swaying just slightly. Two pairs of hands quickly steady her.

Steve lifts his hands for the weapon. “Let me take this to the jet,” He coaxes gently.

She yanks it to her chest, eyes burning as she glares at him. His jaw clenches, chest stuttering. There’s a strange glow around the gun, as if a sunbeam enlightens the weapon. It takes a few seconds for Ana to realize, it’s her. Protecting a weapon. Protecting Bucky’s weapon.

A flash of hurt,  _pain_ , shines in Steve’s blue eyes. “I swear I’ll keep it safe,” He whispers.

Cautiously, he places his hand over hers. But instead of rebounding back from her own energy field, the light slowly envelops Steve. Odd. Finally, she nods and the glow fades away.

*

Walking feels like wading through a rip current, difficult and stumbling. Several times, Ana halts in her tracks, looks around, only to realize she is leading them the wrong way. Her lip quivers, her chest burns, her skin prickles, then Rocket calls her name. She inhales, her stomach churns, she exhales. Once more, her skin is glowing and everything she was trying to hold off nearly comes crashing down on her.

The entire country is in shock; horror-struck. The entire country is left in bewilderment. Left in mourning, in agony. Ana feels every single ounce of it, beginning to break apart her bones. Weighing her down into the depths of the Earth where she so temptingly wants to curl up under and never rise.

With trembling fingers, she twists each ring on, settling the chaos inside her mind, throughout her body. It only lasts a minute before the rings feel like it’s amping up her own dark energy. She doesn’t linger on the thought of how it happened, or why, she just turns the rings off, and continues walking.

They stop by the village first. Usually, a few baby goats will run right over in greeting, with older goats lazily grazing along the grass, waiting for their caretakers to return. None of the goats are in sight. No loud bleats of hellos, no soft headbutts, no inpatient  _baah’s_.

Instead, there is only a few of the village people crying out in sobs to the sky. The children…Ana only sees two of them, in the tight clutches of not their parents’ arms, but of others. She turns away from the scene.

Walking into the hut feels empty. Quiet.  _Wrong_. The last time she was here was when T’Challa brought Bucky his new and improved arm. Ana stares at their makeshift bed. Images of early morning giggles, mid-day exhausted cuddles and lazy nighttime kisses flash through her head.

Abruptly she turns on her heel. There is nothing but phantom memories lingering in the hut.

*

The trek to the apartment takes a longer. Twice, the heaviness of what happened, of what Thanos had succeeded in doing, finally overtakes Ana. She falls to her knees each time, digging her fingers into the soft ground of the earth. Dirt beneath her fingernails, gripping at sand and roots and the crying earth. Wishing, praying, hoping it’s all a horrible nightmare. Hoping that, when she grinds her knuckles into the ground, that she will be able to pull Bucky back from the same dirt he vanished from.

The field pluses with a wave of energy, disturbing the grass and trees in the near distance. The air ceases in her lungs, but she doesn’t try fighting to gain it back. Her husband isn’t there to help her. Her soulmate isn’t there to comfort her. Her Bucky…

Is gone.

Vaguely, she hears voices trying to speak to her, but she can’t make out the words. Instead, she attempts to focus internally. After a great deal of effort and some sort of willpower she didn’t know she still had, she pulls herself together. She channels everything she feels, the broken, defeated energy and chaotic emotions, and locks it inside. It sits heavy in her chest, but the ground has stopped shaking like an earthquake.

Finally, Ana breathes again, panting heavily. With stiff fingers, she releases the dirt, pulling her hands from the earth. She wipes at a wet itch on her cheek, her eyes glancing at Steve who knelt to her level. Some of the anguish Ana is feeling is reflected in his stormy blue eyes as he lifts his hand.

He gently swipes his fingers across her cheek, either wiping away the dirt track or tears, she doesn’t know. But that look in his eyes, the expression on his face; he gets it. He understands. He’s broken too. Beaten, bruised, dirty and broken. They all are.

With an odd grimace of despair, Steve offers his hand to her. Ana wraps her fingers around his, allowing him to help her up. No words are spoken, just a shared sense of heartbreak. Dropping his hand abruptly, Ana continues leading the way.

*

Stepping foot in the apartment feels like stepping out of her own body. Ana feels the emptiness the second she walked over the threshold. She begins to welcome it without resistance, moving through their home like she’s in a trance.

The first thing she does is enter their room, as if Bucky’s presence is beckoning her. The bedroom smells like him; strong from the shower they took just hours before. Ana clenches her fists. A pop of shattering glass snaps her out of it.

She looks at the lamp on their bedside table, broken pieces of white glass now lay at the base of the lamp. She blinks, unclenches her fists and continues. She carefully grabs Bucky’s pillow, her mind escaping as her fingers graze the fabric.

_“Babe,” A chuckle leaves Bucky’s lips, “what in the hell are you doing?”_

_Picking her head up from his pillow on their bed, Ana grins at him. “Stealing your pillow, what does it look like?”_

_He lifts a skeptical eyebrow. “Looks like you were inhaling it. Creep.”_

_But his goofy smile looks like he found it endearing. Ana pokes her tongue out at him, climbing off their bed._

_“I’m staying with Pepper for a week since she’s on bed rest and I’m going to miss you. So, I’m taking your pillow hostage. Don’t pretend you don’t do the same when I’m gone.”_

_Bucky catches her waist, pulling her closer and kissing her forehead. “Guilty. We’re both creeps.”_

_Ana smacks him with the pillow._

Swallowing the thick lump in her throat at the memory that invaded her mind, Ana moves on. She finds the small lock box they keep their marriage license, and passports in. She spots the kintsukuroi art piece, carefully wrapping one of Bucky’s shirts- the red Henley- around it. She slowly gathers a few more items and a mixture of both their clothes, ending with a stack of journals. She gently thumbs over the withered leather cover of the one she received as a gift.

_Bucky hands a small, thin journal to her. Confused, Ana lowers her coffee mug and takes it. Bucky is blushing slightly as he sits next to her, a shy smile on his lips. She opens the journal to the first page, reading over the words scribbled half in cursive, half in print. Immediately her eyes begin to fill with tears. She looks up, lost for words._

_“I know it’s not the greatest birthday gift, but t’s from my heart,” Bucky shrugs sheepishly. He nervously plays with her wedding bands, spinning the rings around her finger. “Not too long after I met you, Annie, I started writing letters…to my mother.”_

_“Bucky…”_

_“Sam suggested it. Figured it could help me in some way. He was right, but don’t tell him that.” He chuckles, lacing his fingers with hers. “Anyway, I started writing these little…notes, as if she could read them. I told her about you. How you made me feel, how I was beginning to fall in love with you.”_

_He scratches his chin. “I guess they’re really love letters to you, if you think about it. This was the only journal I never showed you. Until now.”_

_Ana lifts the journal, pressing it to her chest. She’s about to respond, when something falls to her lap._

_“That too,” He mumbles, ducking his face into her hair._

_She picks up the item from her lap, holding it between her fingers. It’s a thin gold necklace, with a tiny, delicate snowflake pendant. It’s simple, it’s beautiful, it’s making her feel emotional. Ana shifts, puts down the journal and lifts her husband’s head._

_“James,” Ana sighs happily, cupping his neck. Bucky’s cheeks always turn darker and his eyes always flutter when she calls him by his first name. “This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with me, it means so much to you, and me. I love you so much._ Snowflake _.”_

_Bucky beams, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He presses his forehead against hers. “Love you too, Annie. In case you didn’t know,” He laughs along with her. “Happy birthday, my love.”_

Ana lightly touches the necklace hidden under her shirt. Her Snowflake. Her chest aches. She carefully puts the journals in the bag she found and quickly leaves their room. His smell is everywhere, his presence lingers in the air, his laughter and words echo through her ears. The phantom caress of his touch fades from her hands.

She stumbles into the living room, clutching at the counter of the kitchen bar for support. Her chest is constricting, her heart aching. Steve is by her side in an instant with instructions to breath slowly. His nearly bruising grip on her elbow is enough to shift her focus to the physical feeling rather than the internal ones.

Rocket has been inspecting the living room, trying to respect Ana’s space. He spots a rustic wooden frame, a date carved at the bottom. He studies the picture placed behind the glass, then carefully picks it up. He figures it’s something she may want.

“This important?” He inquires knowingly, holding the frame out.

It takes a moment for Ana to realize someone else spoke to her. She blinks slowly, regaining her breath, then turns to see what Rocket said. He’s holding up one of the pictures from their wedding day. Her favorite picture. With unstable steps and trembling hands, she reaches out to take the photo from him.

_“Annie Doll,” Bucky sighs lovingly in her ear, his hand grazing her neck. She feels his ring against her skin, making her shiver. Of course, his lips grazing her skin don’t help either. “I don’t mind a few pictures.”_

_Ana turns her head, placing a light kiss to his jaw. “I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable, babe,” she pauses, then grins mischievously. “Plus, I spotted a supply closet earlier.”_

_“_ _Шалунья_ _,” Her husband breathes hotly in her ear. It nearly makes her moan. Abruptly, Bucky picks her up by her waist, suddenly spinning her around in the air._

_“Bucky!” Ana shouts gleefully, laughing along with him._

_The bright, elated smile on his beautiful face makes her heart melt. Their noses brush, Ana closes her eyes, the wind around them, making her feel like she’s flying. She’s been flying ever since she met Bucky._

_“I love you, Mrs. Barnes,” Bucky says breathlessly._

Ana gently traces the picture, caught in the moment when Bucky spun her around. She grits her teeth, clenches one fist. If her heart hadn’t already faded with Bucky, it would shatter. She can’t speak, just gently places the photo it in the bag. The one filled with all the important stuff; his pillow, his soap, his journals, Nutella, their marriage certificate, five more pictures, the kintsukuroi.

Lastly, she moves to the kitchen, only taking one thing. The sonogram from the refrigerator door.

_Ana can feel how soft her expression is as she stares at her husband, who squints confusingly at the picture. He tilts his head, first to the left, then right, then flips the picture over. Recognition dawns over his face, his mouth dropping in a small O._

_“Now I see it,” Bucky announces, nodding determinedly._

_Ana narrows her eyes, her legs over his lap and one finger playing with his hair. “No, you don’t.” She calls his bluff._

_He groans in disappointment, dropping his head back with a sad pout on his lips. “No, I don’t.”_

_Tilting his head back up with her fingers, she takes his wrist to bring the sonogram closer to their faces. She circles the image with her finger after she releases his wrist._

_“See this circle here?” She begins, then slides her finger over as he nods. “And this tiny little speck-“_

_“That? That little thing?”_

_“Yes, that little thing is the baby. Our baby.”_

_Bucky exhales. “Our baby,” His voice is thick with emotion. “It’s so small. Like a little bean.”_

_He turns to smile brightly at her, his pure blue eyes misty. Returning his smile, she pushes his hair back behind his ear, leaning forward to kiss his scruffy cheek._

_“Exactly. Our little bean.”_

“Ana,” Steve’s soft voice shakes slightly behind her, but he doesn’t say more.

Maybe he just called her name to comfort her, maybe he can no longer find any words  _to_  comfort her. Maybe he’s just reminding her that she isn’t alone. Whatever the reason, she’s broken out of the recent memory, pressing the sonogram to her chest.

Ana finds both Steve and Rocket staring at her with expressions she doesn’t want and can’t decipher. She nods once at them, carefully slipping the sonogram between he pages of the journal in the bag.

“Is there anything else?” Rocket questions cautiously.

Ana notices Steve from the corner of her eye, two smaller picture frames from the same display as the wedding photo. She catches a glimpse of the photos; one from the wedding of them, the other, a black and white photo from simpler times. Steve tucks them carefully his belt, his glistening eyes snapping over to her quickly before turning away.

“No,” She answers, the word barely making it past her lips.

As they silently make their way out of her and Bucky’s home, Ana spots his jacket in the corner of the couch. With her left hand over her stomach, she reaches out her right one, shaking as she grabs the jacket. It smells like Bucky. The whole apartment does. He’s everywhere and nowhere. He’s gone, vanished, faded away. Ana turns, and quickly walks out of their home, because if she stays there any longer, she will fade too.

 **Avengers Compound** :  **5 days Later**

Steve stares at the holographic screens in front of him, watching as his friends, his family, pop up as missing. His eyes slide to the climbing red numbers on top of the screen; the count hasn’t stopped for days.

Shuri. Hope and Hank Pym. Peter Parker. Sam. Wanda, Scott Lang. T’Challa. The list goes on and on; , faces he’s heard of, face he knows.

An image catches the corner of his eye, moving his gaze to stare of the face of his best friend. Missing. Gone. Dusted right in front of him, right in front of Ana, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. He lost. They lost.  _He failed._

His grip tightens over the edge of the table, only pulling away when he realizes his fingers made cracks in the polished wood. Steve drops his head, feeling the tension build in his shoulders and some bruises lingering from the fight. Blowing out a long breath, he pinches the bridge of his nose pressing into the corner of his eyes to fight off the sting of unshed tears.

Finally lifting his head, he looks at Natasha, staring at the screens with glassy eyes, chewing on her fingernail. Colonel Rhodes is sitting in another chair, keeping careful watch for any signals to pop up on a location device. Thor had agreed to come back with them, but the god has barely moved from the bench small back porch outside. He’s been nearly as quiet as Ana since they got back.

A new flutter of anxiety pangs through his chest, realizing he hasn’t checked on her in several minutes. He was too busy wishing the numbers would stop. Steve looks around the room to find her. She’s not in the corner she was sitting in three minutes ago, but that doesn’t surprise him. What does, is how utterly silent she’s become; entering and exiting a room without Steve even knowing. He shakes his head.

“This is a nightmare,” He sighs forlornly, his voice hardening. “A fucking nightmare.”

“I’ve had better nightmares,” Natasha mumbles behind her fingers, sounding as if she’s miles away. There’s a pause. “Ezra is gone.”

If there was one thing that could possibly give them a strange sense of comfort, it would be the cat. When they arrived back, Ana was slow to get off the jet, as if it pained her to do so. She didn’t speak a word, to anyone since they left her home, but Steve kept a close eye on her, extremely concerned about her well-being. He knew when she began looking for the cat, and he knew she couldn’t find him when she quietly sat herself in the corner by the window.

Her body keeps fading in and out of the golden light, as does some of the power. Steve wants so badly to comfort her, to give her a long overdue hug, assure her that they’ll fix this. But he can’t, because it could all be a lie. There are promises he can’t make, and he won’t give her a false hope, just to have her heart break again. She wouldn’t be able to handle it physically.

“Has she eaten?” Inquires a new voice entering the room. “Because she’s getting weaker.”

Steve turns his back on the screens, giving their new powerful friend, Carol Danvers, his full attention. She appeared up out of nowhere just two days after they arrived back to New York. She was baffled as to what happened to Earth and Nick Fury, especially after he sent her an emergency signal. Her unannounced arrival was the first time Ana spoke in 48 hours.

_“Her energy…she’s powerful. Immensely. Maybe she can find Tony...if he’s alive.”_

Natasha rubs her temples. “No. And she’s refusing any medical care.”

Hearing the anger in her voice, Steve speaks up. “Pepper is on her way. Maybe if Ana sees her…” He trails off, not believing his own words.

“Let’s hope,” Nat mumbles. Her eyes snaps to his. “Did you know? Did anyone know?”

Placing his hands on his hips, he swallows the thick lump in his throat, shaking his head. He’s not sure if Bucky knew.

“This isn’t healthy for her…or the baby,” Natasha finally collapses in one of the chairs.

“She’s powerful, you know,” Carol states, the tiniest smirk lifting her mouth. “More than she lets on. The energy levels admitting from her is chaotic right now, but she’s strong.” She squints her eyes in thought, appraising Steve. “Shouldn’t the baby be fine since half its DNA is from a super soldier?”

“It’s a possibility,” Natasha muses sadly. “Since a version of the serum was embedded into his genetic code.”

“But since this is the first pregnancy in this case, we won’t know unless symptoms show up,” He informs quietly. “With her or the baby.”

Before anyone else can respond, a sharp beep cuts through the air. A sense of pride and triumph flashes across Carol’s face before she across the room to another computer. She grabs the device she hooked up, turning to show them the screen.

“I found something.”

**A week later:**

Ana stumbles out of her bathroom, sweaty and wiping her mouth, barely making it to the bed she hasn’t slept in for two years. Pepper’s hands gently guide her down, so she doesn’t fall off. She forces a glass of water into her hand, and a piece of dry toast in the other. Her cousin doesn’t have to say anything, but the pointed glare with her pinched lips gives Ana the impression that if she doesn’t eat and drink, there will be hell to pay. So, she tries.

“I promise you’ll feel better after you eat,” Pepper assures her gently, taking away the now empty glass. “The toast really helped me when I was going through this at 9 weeks.”

Ana forces a breath from her nose, begrudgingly nibbling at the bread. She allows Pepper to hold her hand, squeezing for comfort. She’s been here for the past two days now, waiting. Waiting to see if Tony is still alive, if he didn’t get dusted like everyone else.

Tears burn at Ana’s eyes, but they don’t fall. Instead, she blinks rapidly, and takes a bigger bite. Pepper looks so stressed, worried, heartbroken. With a rather uncharacteristic like thought, Ana realizes she can feel Pepper’s emotions, and also realizes she doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to help; use her ability to calm her cousin. She slowly pulls her hand away from Pepper’s.

“Parenting is hard,” Pepper states suddenly. Gone is her gentle tone. “It’s hard, and terrifying. You lose sleep, probably some sanity, and you might definitely need help. It’s usually a two person job, Ana.”

She takes another bite.

“But, sometimes, that second parent isn’t there, and the parent that is left has to step up and be both parents. That’s even harder. It’s double the work, double the sacrifice, and double the love. But it’s hard, and if that one parent doesn’t think they can handle it-“

“Pep,” Ana cuts her off with a warning tone. “Stop.”

Pepper’s eyes grow sad, but she keeps her words to herself. Instead, she pushes the damp hair sticking to Ana’s forehead aside as she lays back.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Or anyone else?”

“You didn’t,” Ana mumbles haughtily. “And, first trimester.”

“Please allow a doctor to look at you,” Pepper pleads softly, her eyes watering.

“Who’s that going to be?” She remarks bitterly, wincing as her stomach rolls again.

“You need to take care of yourself, Bug. All this…emotional stress can be dangerous to you both.”

“I’m tired, Pepper,” Ana sighs, only half lying as her eyes close.

She hears her cousin sigh in defeat, followed by the motion of her getting off the bed. Ana feels Pepper push back her hair once more before kissing the top of her head. She thinks she left after several long moments of quiet. Until she speaks again.

“You know Ana,” Pepper starts, a quiver in her voice. “Bucky wouldn’t want you feeling like this. He wouldn’t want to see you this sick.”

“Goodnight, Pepper,” Is Ana’s response.

The second the door clicks shut, Ana curls into a ball, hugging his pillow between her body. The sudden weight of her own feelings crushes down on her aching, empty body. The weight of the others adds to it, and rather than fighting it, she allows it to happen. For their failure to drag her down, fill her lungs with ashes until she can’t breathe. Smothering her with the phantom feel of her love between her fingers.

Ana gasps, wraps one arm over her stomach, and cries into the pillow.

*

Days pass. Nights linger. Ana can barely sleep. Every time she starts to drift off, she sees Bucky disappearing before she could even wrap her arms around him. She nearly forgets she’s pregnant one day, as she grabs on of the whiskey bottles and almost takes a long swig from the bottle itself. Until Bruce walked in at the perfect moment, quickly snatching the bottle away from her.

It resulted in a scolding, and threats of bodily harm from both Steve and Natasha, if she didn’t allow a doctor to evaluate her. It was only one day after that incident, did Ana finally agree. She gets checked over by a both a doctor and GYNO after Pepper was able to find the best of the best who had survived the Snap.

She’s put on bed rest for two weeks, as the emotional turmoil was beginning to become too much for her body. The baby, thankfully, seems to be developing perfectly. But there are times, where Ana is between being awake and sleep, she swears she hears  _Annie_ , like a whisper in the wind.

When those times happens, she gets out of bed and always ends up in front of Steve’s door. And every time, Steve always welcomes her with open arms of shared grief to sob into. Sometimes Natasha is already in his room, and the three of them sit in silence; misery loves company.

“Any word from Barton?” Steve cautiously asks one night.

Ana is half asleep, finding it just a tad easier to relax somewhat around Steve. He had set up a few pillows differently to help her get comfortable, and she had been resting a pillow on his thigh as she drifted off.

“No,” The tremor in Nat’s tone makes Steve drop the subject.

Blinking her eyes open, Ana shares a sad look with Steve. She spins her wedding rings around her finger as she shuts her eyes again, then reaches out to link her fingers with Natasha’s. She doesn’t change her energy around, but the small effort of comfort doesn’t go unnoticed.

*

Oddly, it’s Thor that seems to remain stoically calm next to Ana. So, she finds herself around him during the day. Neither say much to each other, but occasionally when she’s feeling like she’s able to, will reach out and touch him.

She feels his anger, his immense guilt, his failure in so many ways. He’s lost so much more than any of them have. But he understands their lost, he understands how Ana is truly feeling at times. Thor wasn’t around too much when Bucky lived at the compound, but when he was, he was always friendly and jubilant towards Bucky.

_“He doesn’t seem to be bother by people’s past, does he?” Bucky had questioned after meeting Thor for the third time. They’re on the rooftop, lounging on a chair with his head resting against Ana’s chest._

_“Not really. He’s not one to judge quickly,” Ana informed him, brushing her fingers through Bucky’s thick hair. “He must think you’re worthy.”_

_Bucky had held her a little tighter after that._

Ana blinks the memory away and wipes the single tear from her eye. Thor had caught this moment, his gaze lingering on her face long enough to be uncomfortable. He dropped his gaze, going back to pushing cereal around in the bowl.

“I must apologize, Ana,” Thor mumbles shamefully one day. “Your husband is gone because of me.”

“It isn’t your fault, Thor,” She responded. “I’m not the only one who lost someone.”

*

Without knowing how, another three weeks goes by. Ana didn’t really feel like it has, just trying to go through the motions of trying not to cry. She’s taken to screaming into a pillow more than not, and accidentally causes yet another power outage.

Pepper is back, by request from Bruce and Steve. A sharp pain had hindered Ana for two days, everyone concerned about her and the delicate life growing inside her. A 12 week sonogram revealed that the fetus was still developing perfectly, but Ana’s body was just taking a toll itself. Elevated hear rate, low iron levels, blood pressure going up and down.

She’s resting in bed, hoping to actually sleep, when Pepper brings her decaffeinated tea. She presses close to her cousin, Ana rubbing soothing circle over her small bump. They decided to watch a movie, something light, something uncomplicated. A quiet rattle from the window panels catch both women’s attention. Pepper stands to peak out, as Ana places the barely drank tea on the side table.

“Oh my god,” Pepper breathes. She pulls back the curtain to show Ana.

*

Everyone jogs out into the field, watching as Carol, a bright burning star in the dark sky, effortless lows a giant space ship down to the earth. Ana is the last to bring up the group, weaving through everyone to stand directly behind Pepper. The emotions from them all burns at her skin, and the relief and hope she can feel from Pepper is…painful.

The door of the ship opens with a ramp lowering down to the ground. When her eyes adjust properly to the two bodies walking off the ship, Ana gasps. It’s Tony, alive and….skin and bones. He’s being helped by a woman with blue skin, but Ana barely focuses on her as Steve rushes forward to assist them. Tony looks two seconds away from death. Their whispered words can’t be heard.

Pepper gently embraces him as he relaxes into her, grateful she’s alive. Tony’s eyes flutter open, gazing around until he spots Ana. He looks more relieved when he sees her, but his expression changes when he realizes who is missing.

As he’s helped to walk along further, he stops in front of Ana, nearly tripping over his feet to hug her. Despite everything, she allows herself to feel the amount of relief of Tony being alive.

“Bucky?” Tony questions, gripping her shoulders.

Ana shakes her head.

*

Tony is seriously malnourished and dehydrated, his muscle mass dwindled from being adrift in space for 21 days. Steve, Rhodey and Bruce quickly got Tony inside, checked his vitals and hooked up to an IV, sitting him in a wheelchair. They all gather in an open office area, close to the medical ward, while goes off to Pepper call Happy.

Ana sits quietly at the table, absentmindedly spinning her wedding ring around her finger. Murmurs can be heard if she pays close enough attention, but she doesn’t. All she’s been trying to do for the past month is ignore the near suffocating air of misery, to keep everyone else’s energies at bay. With each day that passes, it gets harder and harder, she even thinks the protective rings don’t offer much help anymore. Possibly got damaged in the fight.

“He did everything he said he would. Thanos wiped out 50% of all living creatures.” Natasha’s voice pulls Ana back into the room.

Tony’s had his hand over his mouth, as if he’s trying to hold something together. “Where is he now? Where?” He asks irritably.

“We don’t know, he just opened a portal and walked through,” Steve answers, crossing his arms.

Tony huffs, and spots Thor in the outside through the windows, sulking on a bench. “What’s wrong with him?”

Rocket pipes up. “He’s pissed. He thinks he failed, which of course he did, but ya know, there’s a lot of that going around, ain’t there?”

Ana mentally agrees with the shared failure.

“Honestly, until this exact second I thought you were build-a-bear,” Tony snarks. Ana knows it’s the trauma effecting Tony and the way he’s acting, even breathing. As if he’d ready to be strained once again.

“Maybe I am,” Rocket challenges.

“He’s not,” Bruce defends.

Steve clears his throat. “We’ve been hunting Thanos for three weeks now, deep space scans and satellites and we got nothing.” Steve pauses, “Tony you fought him.”

“Who told you that? I didn’t fight him,” He snips. “No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleaker Street magician gave away the stone. There’s no fight-“

“Okay-“

“There’s no people.”

“Okay,” Steve tries to be patient. “Did he give you any clues, coordinates, anything?”

Tony makes a  _pffft_  noise, motioning he’s got nothing. He looks around wildly for a moment. “I saw this coming a few years back, I had a vision, I didn’t want to believe it. Thought I was dreaming.”

Steve grits his teeth before remaing calm. “Tony, I’m gonna need you to stay focus.”

Ana feels a sharp shift in the air.

“And I needed you!” Tony snaps. “As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It’s too late buddy, sorry,”

“You know what I need?” He lashes his hand out, knocking over the glass of water and soup bowl. “I need a shave.

“Tony-“ Rhodey tries, being ignored.

“I believe I remember telling, live and otherwise,” He suddenly grabs his IV, pulling it out of his arm as he stands up. Ana winces, more so at the anger beginning to boil her blood.

“Hey, Tony-“

“That we needed was a suit of armor around the world, remember that? Whether it impacted our  _precious_   _freedoms_  or not that’s what we needed!“

Steve doesn’t budge as Tony limps his way right in front of his face. He looks the weak man right in the eyes. “Well that didn’t work out did it?”

Tony sways. “I said ‘we’d lose’. You said ‘we’ll do that together too’. Guess what Cap,  _we lost_. And you weren’t there” He pokes his chest. “But that’s what we do right? Our best work after the fact. We’re the Ah-Vengers, right? Not the  _pre_ -vengers!”

Tony stumbles, Steve’s hands twitching to help. The more Tony spews, the more Ana feels the energy.

“Alright, you made your point, just need to sit down.” Rhodey demands, attempting to bring him back.

“No, no,” Tony tries to push him off, as he points to Carol. “You know what, she’s great by the way! We need you, your new blood. Bunch of tired of mills, I got nothing for you Cap!” He breaks out of Rhodey’s hold, getting in Steve’s face once more. “I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies. No options, zero zip nada. No trust. _Liar_.”

Ana can’t take it anymore. The high-strung emotions, the dark tainting energy, is beginning to drive her insane. The animosity and tension building in the room, between them. All Anger and hurt and disappointment. She can barely contain the tremors throughout her body, and if she accidentally loses her own control, it won’t be good for anyone.

“Tony!” Ana sharply cuts off his insults to Steve. He sways, nearly losing his balance to face her. A spike of concern flashes through her but she ignores it.

“I know how you’re feeling, Tony. I  _know_. Ican feel you,” She informs him, keeping her voice low. “I can feel everyone in this room. I feel it in the air. I know you think you failed. I know it’s hard right now. You were strained for a month. It must be so hard. But are you honestly telling me, you are not going to help us find him? We need you.”

Tony blows a raspberry, then scoffs. “I needed you too,” He slurs irrationally. “I could’ve used your help. Drained his life force or whatever the hell you do,” He wiggles his fingers. “Instead of you running off-“

“Tony-“ Natasha warns, being ignored.

“She risked her-“ Rocket begins angrily.

Tony doesn’t stop “-to hide out in a secret country with Barnes-“ The lights begin to flicker. “Who probably refused to-“

Ana abruptly slams her hand down the one table, standing up, the chair falling over. “ _I. Can’t. Feel. Him_!” She grits vehemently through her teeth. The power surges around the room as her eyes water. “I can’t feel him!”

The wood beneath her hand begins to sizzle. Tony’s eyes flicker to the spot then back to her. Natasha moves to either comfort her or calm her down, but Ana slaps her hands away as her chin trembles.

“I  _can’t_! It feels like I can’t breathe! I couldn’t…I couldn’t hold him…I lost him!  _We_!” She gestures wildly around the room. “We all lost loved ones! And I  _feel_  it! The entire world! It’s in the air, in the ground, it’s in this room.”

She inhales deeply, paying no mind to the few tears that betray her eyes. “Are you telling me, you’re just going to walk away. Just take Pepper and leave? You’re just giving up!?”

The tension between them as they glare into each other’s eyes is nearly palpable.

“Yes!” Tony spits like a curse. “In fact,” He turns to Steve again. He grabs the arc reactor on his chest, yanking it from his fragile body. He takes Steve’s hand, slapping the reactor on his palm. “You take this. You find him and you put that on,” He breathes heavily, swaying, pointing at Steve. “You hide.”

Something snaps within Ana as she leans across the table. She snatches the arc reactor from Steve, glaring at Tony. The once powered down device suddenly lights up, glowing brighter and brighter. Her palm begins to emit a strange, faint orange hue, quickly enveloping her entire body. Heat raises in her, boiling her blood, and everything she’s felt since the snap comes to the surface.

Suddenly she launches the reactor forward. It soars right over Tony’s shoulder, narrowly missing his ear, and shatters against the wall behind him. Tony flinched slightly before matching a glare with Ana. They say nothing. Seconds of utter silence,  _seething_  silence, passes. Then, Ana spins on her feet, exiting the room in rage so tangible, it stings at everyone’s skin.

Tony turns back to Steve, panting heavily as he stumbles again, pointing in his face. “You’re on your, Cap.”

He collapses to his knees, Rhodes and Steve calling his name, right before he passes out.

*

The air in the living room grows hot as Ana paces around, the lights go out, the windows rattles. She’s vaguely aware her skin is glowing. That her powers are raging, and a voice in the back of her mind tells her mind that being this high stung is not good for the delicate life inside her. She stops pacing, then notices Natasha, Carol, Nebula, Steve and Rocket have all followed her.

“Ana,” Natasha begins softly.

“Don’t.” Carol demands calmly, moving closer to Ana with a understanding loo in her eyes. “Don’t tell her to control her emotions.”

“I wasn’t…” Nat’s words die off.

At Carol’s gentle touch with her hand on Ana’s elbow, the raging wave inside her chest slowly begins to regulate. It’s an unearthly amount of power, but the powerful energy emitting from the newcomer it doesn’t control Ana’s own. Instead, it comforts it.

But Ana doesn’t want comfort. She doesn’t want to regulate energies or feel the grieving world’s emotions. She wants to protect the shattered shell of her soul, of her heart. She wants to protect the only thing of Bucky she has left. Places her hands over her slightly bulging stomach, and does something she never thought she could.

Closing her eyes, Ana inhales deeply, feeling the chaos of energy within her and from others. She finds her own emotions and concentrates until she can feel it all gather in the center of her chest. Lifting her right hand to her chest, Ana presses down, then zaps her fingers over her heart. Then…nothing.

Everything stops.

When she finally opens her eyes, she feels nothing.

“What the hell was that?” Rocket questions, baffled. Nebula looks a little sad, yet curious.

“Ana,” Natasha speaks up cautiously. “You didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” Steve demands, an air of urgency in his tone. “What did she do?”

“She…” Carol answers, clearing her throat and takes her hand off Ana’s elbow. “Didn’t control it. She did something worse.”

“Like what?”

Ana slowly meets Steve’s worried gaze. “I shut my emotions off.” She informs him, her voice an even tone. “Now I won’t feel anything.”

Ana doesn’t bother watching Steve’s concern grow into fear. She just walks out of the room. After a few minutes of stunned quiet, Natasha breaks it.

“She never told Tony she’s pregnant.”

****************************************************************************************************************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Sorry if it sucked!  
> I'm hopefully planning on ending this in 30 chapters or less....so...soon...

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you all liked this one. There is plently more to come. It won't be made into a sequel, just drabbles and it does catch up to the MCU timeline................if...ya...know....what...I....mean...... ;)


End file.
